Happy New Year everyone !! In contemplating the past, the future, the potential, the successes and failures… whilst flipping over to the next calender year a thought occurred to me… Is the grass really greener on the other side?? Many people think this and base a majority of their decisions on it…it’s a human thing to want, to wonder, to wander…but be careful what you wish for, right??
As a restless soul I always had the problem of discontent, my mind wandered (as it still does because I am a dreamer) but to what I could or should be doing.. the B that should be an A, the country I want to inhabit, the numerous amazing projects I wanted to begin or complete, etc etc.. goals are great however there is a point where it becomes hard to be content; truly content and many times we inflict this discontent upon ourselves. I found a great list, 38 “Zen Habits” some of them are good advice and insightful and at the very least entertaining.
After all…. if your not fully in the present you’ll miss most of your life. I think back to the people I wish I would have spent more time with but was distracted by being too “busy” with work, school, a social function. This New Years I spent with my Mom and turned down the numerous other places I could have been, and you know what?? The social functions will always be there, my Mom will not.. its one of the best New Years I have had for that reason… quality not quantity… I believe too many of us have the tendency to possess this restless spirit, but there is a degree I believe to where it becomes detrimental.. its all about priorities..
How many times have you and certainly I, left something only to realize how good what you had was.. life goes on.. you live and learn but growing up and figuring out what is important to you makes all the difference… making better decisions, learning how to be content with yourself and where you are. For me this has meant spending as much time as I can with the people who over the years have shown me boundless love, acceptance and support. I’m not always as good at making time as I’d like to be.. balance is another thing I am forever trying to master….
I remember reading about the Dalai Lama and he had said that true happiness comes thru altruism.. I believe that is right too.. I want to live for something bigger and better then just myself. Living in NYC has been a crazy, wonderful, sometimes terrible (aka exhausting) journey but its made me tougher and its further shaped what I have come to value….. For me my job is not important, money is not everything, spending time in hollow relationships with people who don’t actually care about you is a waste, and furthermore being able to recognize the friends and foes is an ongoing journey as sometimeessss…. wolves dress like sheep.
Heck, this idea even carries over into romantic relations…When I first moved to the city I remember meeting in my first week, at my first job (bartending) a beautiful, nice, seemed non-crazy( really! but who knows….), successful girl and as we got to talking she complained of her difficulties in finding a solid/stable dude….”They all just want to play and move on to the next girl because here there are so many girls” (lots of pretty smart ones too)…. I thought I was doomed for sure if this girl couldn’t find a real relationship…(It was long before this I began my imaginary cat collection in my mind.. ha ha. sigh. Actually fuck that, motorcycle collection, and lest not forget vintage Vespas and Lambrettas and loud Rock N’ Roll. yaaaaa !) and I will say 90% of the women I meet here (young to middle aged to old) all have the same problem…(Note: for some reason I attract these kinds of confessions/discussions from many times total strangers, ?? I’m too approachable I think, NEVER make eye contact ha ha (kidding..sort of…)…
I really feel it is unfortunate that it seems to be how this city predominately is… new generation? a NYC thing? bad dating skills? bad decisions? Holy smokes Batman.. I am not sure… however I believe its a typical case of the grass is greener.. with so many people in the grass is greener mindset I believe they miss out on what is right in front of them; don’t miss out. Take good care of the grass your on and you’ll soon have a garden and soft cushy grass to cloud watch in. (=
Also ladies, about all those dudes.. Someday you’ll all find someone to look into your eyes and say “Helloooo your my very special one.” Here is a song for you about just that and perhaps maybe about prolonging this new year just a little longer (especially if 2011 treated you well)