Here

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“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” -Bil Keane.

You hear it often “be mindful, be present, and you should meditate.”  These aren’t just new age guru mumbo jumbo beliefs but they’re actually right!  I’d venture to guess that I’ve spent most of my life somewhere else, and definitely the past two years. In fact, the majority of us are not where we actually are at any given moment. Whether our minds are adrift or not, many times were wishing we were elsewhere. Either we are looking to the distant past or the near future. Our  “modern society,” is really talented at keeping most of us discontent with where we are, always wanting more. The funny thing is, when you stop wishing to be somewhere other than  where you are,  suddenly life becomes much more enjoyable!  When you let the  mind wander less and focus in more on your present surroundings, it allows you to savor  life and be in the moment. As an example, for many months I only wanted to be back in my beloved city of New York. However, once I chose to silence the noise, I realized that I was actually enjoying where I was. It’s easy to lose sight of where you are when advertisements and social media frequently remind you that you could be somewhere better. It’s as if we’re a rat  running through a labyrinth of distractions, all the while completely missing the point that lies in the center. When you take away all that noise suddenly the point is much easier to find. What I realized is, that New York City will still be there when I’m ready to return, but my Parents(with whom I live) won’t be. As much as I have griped and protested about my current situation, the fact is I have  had invaluable time spent with my family. One of whom supports and  loves me through it all. Therefore, I wish(not again!) that I’d realized this sooner. For if I had, the past few years would’ve been far less painful. When your mind wanders away from the present moment it really hurts you. Not only do you miss out on a part of your life, but also lose focus on your present goals. In a way it’s like self sabotage! By  looking  in a different direction you lose track of your chosen path, and lose ground(ie time. If your particularly goal orientated this is crucial to know! By being present and focused on your current situation, it allows you to see clearly the bull whose horns your going to grab.

focus & conquer!

bleu

Resonate

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”~ E.E. Cummings.

This is no fashion blog, but I’ve noticed  a  trend. Among my most popular posts the subjects  involving reassurance, love, and  hope  by far get the most response. Why is that? Because were human.  You may have grown into an “adult,” with all its benefits and   mundane responsibility, but you’re still a child.  Considering this truth, it’s pretty clear that  our needs may have  changed, but they’re not drastically different. We still need the basics, but the most important one  often gets forgotten, reassurance! Just because we’ve been potty trained(I hope) doesn’t mean that suddenly we have no need to be reassured or coddled any longer. Actually  it’s quite the opposite, as adults we might need it even more. Because our challenges are still just as difficult only the scale has changed.  People wrongly assume that you can deal with things on your own, but everyone could use some  reassurance from someone other than themselves. It’s because we  have a need to feel part of a community, and to know we’re doing good in this thing called life. I love when people tell me the progress they have noticed or reassured me that something is going to work out or be okay. This is especially important because I don’t notice the changes in myself, none of us really do. Therefore, when a change is positive I want to know about it! While your particular situation may not be as difficult as mine it  can still  be a hardship nonetheless. Just as a child receives praise for their artistic fridge drawing, We need praise just as much if not more for our accomplishments too.  As you(should) know “little,people” and big grow  the best in a nurturing environment. So, why  does the nurturing stop when we become “adults?” There  is no end to your ability to grow throughout life, and scientifically  speaking energy can neither be created or destroyed. You know what can be created or destroyed?  The short answer is growth. People can be given a place and a way to grow or find themselves stunted. My height will  likely never exceed 5’ 8” but the  size of my spirit can  become larger than life. There  is no end to the possibilities in life, so why stop  growing and helping others to grow?

add fertilizer!

bleu

The Girl who lived

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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” -Denis Waitley.

If your familiar with Harry Potter at all, then you know about “the  boy who lived.”

To sum it up, He  was the very unlikely survivor of a dubious attack by the wizarding world’s most powerful wizard, Voldemort. Because of  this He garnered for himself tons of attention, along with  some unwanted expectations and unexpected responsibilities. I too, have faced my own  powerful evil wizard, but in the form of a massive stroke. Not only did surviving it garner me much attention as well, but also  an unexpected responsibility. Although I wasn’t asked to do anything specific, as I regained my mental prowess I  suddenly had a sense of responsibility. Because of what happened to me, I felt not only  that I should live to the fullest, but also that I  wanted  to share the good news with others that  needed to hear it. Now the fictional Harry Potter and I actually had something in common; We were not only survivors but we had lived, lived through unspeakable horrors, lived to tell the tale, and most importantly lived to inspire others. Unsuspectingly a sense of responsibility was thrust upon me, not because of what happened but in spite of it. I didn’t owe anyone anything, but I  had the need and desire to spread the hope, love, and strength  I  had found with others. If I  failed to do that, I felt it was a failure  to pay forward the gift I had been given. Other people needed to know what I knew as a result of tragedy and the occurrence of a miracle. Instead of paying forward our negativity or bad attitude, I sought to do the opposite. A nuclear event had happened in my life, and now I and others were sure to feel the after shocks. However, in some way, in the search to minimize the damage   I received grace. A grace that  allowed   me to prosper in  a  seemingly desert landscape of possibility. In  being given this seed of grace, I wanted to plant a forest of   hope, love, and light that would generate oxygen for all of us to breathe in. Therefore, nurture your own seed of  grace, so that it may grow into a beautiful forest we can all benefit from.

grow it!

bleu

# Goals

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“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

-Zig Ziglar.

This one is for you single Moms that went back to school and got your degree, to the Dad that finally lost  his gut, the young girl who nailed that cart wheel, and the grandma that braved a community college class in  a subject  She was really interested in. These people have their goals on lock down, and understand that as long as your alive on this earth you can achieve   goals and create new ones. When  I first  discovered  The Sketchbook Project, I immediately jumped on it. However, due to a fast paced lifestyle  I never managed to complete it. The project  is a globally concerted effort, with art sent in from all over the world. You can learn more about it —> here. While my blank sketchbooks in 2011 and 2012( I attempted it twice) languished   untouched in my apartment  while I attended to other matters… Sooner than later(time flies) the year 2016 rolled around and I found myself   in the process of a recovery from a near death experience. I also  was unemployed with considerable stretches of time to fill and in need of some positive distraction. Yet again I found myself participating in  the sketchbook project, but this time I was going to finish it. The third time  really is a charm apparently. You can’t always wait for the “right time,” to accomplish something, often the right time is right now.  Many times    you’ll find that somehow things happen at the right time when your patient, positive, and active in working towards your goal. We can’t control or make everything happen when we want,  but we can certainly  put the wheels in motion. What that  single Mom, little girl, and Dad all understand is that with perseverance and determination you can reach your goals.  It doesn’t matter when you start, it’s that you begin and there’s no time like the present. Don’t be afraid of failure because failure is a good teacher, and  most certainly don’t predict that you’ll fail before you even  start!

Just begin,

bleu

Help

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“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?”

-Brian Tracy.

Sometimes We can’t do everything and have to humble ourselves. After  a lifetime of being stubborn and independent, having to ask for so much help was altogether humbling and produced a great patience in me. Before I was injured I did everything when and how I wanted to. However, in the hospital and after I had to have assistance and help with nearly everything. Not only was I not used to asking for help but it was painful having to wait so long(or seemingly) for everything. I even needed help to cut my own nails! I have never been all that patient, but now I had no choice but to be patient and gracious when things weren’t done how I’d normally prefer them.  It was not only difficult having to ask and then wait, but it made me feel set back as well. We live in a “I want it now,” society. Therefore, waiting  to do anything(especially everyday tasks) was excruciating. We all need help sometimes, but never to this extent.   To ask for so much help was not only humbling but a great teacher of patience.  Imagine having to wait  to do what you want, when you never really had to. The experience of this was not only a lesson but highlighted the fact that  We are definitely spoiled by convenience. Most of all  in my times of need little human Angels popped up everywhere. This was not only a lesson in patience and humility, but community too. We all need each other more than you realize. In fact after being put into such a situation, it was clear to me that we’d all be better  off if society valued the servant roles as much as the master roles. In our pursuit for control we  miss out on the beauty of a shared human experience. How much easier  and full of love would life be, if We all helped each other rather than only ourselves? After being in a place of so much need I now understand the importance of serving and helping others. I actually look  out  for and forward to opportunities to help someone. As well as look back at the times I had them and didn’t. To share in the life and joys of another, even a stranger is more fulfilling than living selfishly. For each person that went out of their way for me, they made my day better and it was done  for no personal gain. All  of these small acts of kindness are woven into a larger tapestry that creates our experience of humanity, and  all of humanity is better when We share it.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWP6Qki8mWc&w=420&h=315%5DIt’s a lesson I wish I would’ve learned sooner than later. For, had that happened I would have spent so much more time sharing my life with others who needed help at that moment. In doing so and giving of yourself, you gain so much more than what you give. Don’t wait too long to realize this but the sooner you begin the better!

Go, Angel Go!

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keep pushing

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I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

-Thomas A. Edison

 
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If a little seedling  can manage to grow through cement, why can’t you do the same with your difficult  circumstances? The world worships at the feet of the God of success, but what do we do with failure and catastrophe? Rather than meet these challenges with a smile, We crumble and fade from them. When you’re going through a hard time keep smiling. Make people wonder where  that smile came from, and how it got there. Meet life dancing with your hand in the air rather than lying down. Imagine what you’d do if the floor was pulled out from beneath you, because that’s what happened to me actually! In one fell swoop, I lost my high paying job, my apartment, a significant other, and my left arm and leg were paralyzed. I went to bed expecting to go to work and then home to New York City, but instead woke up in a Hospital back where I started with even less than I had   as a child. In this situation you can either give  up  and fall into the arms of a suicidal depression or   get up  even when you don’t feel like it. Despite my desire to bury myself under the covers in my bed,  I  forced myself  to get up and go to rehab every week. Because, regardless of how I felt, life wasn’t going to hand  progress over to me  I had to push back to achieve it. I can assure you , that if I can  do it, so can you! Just as trout swim miles upstream to spawn, sometimes  we find ourselves swimming upstream as well.  Perhaps  we aren’t swimming upstream to spawn, but  our reasons are not so different from the trouts. That reason is simple,  both of us are swimming towards  Life and not away.

God speed!

bleu

"say cheese."

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“The true warrior isn’t immune to fear, She fights in spite of it.” -Francesca Lia Block.

What’s the best memory  you have from your life? I asked my 97 year old Great Grandma. “ I don’t think about those things much anymore.” She replied. Whether it’s because She can’t remember or doesn’t want to I’m not sure, but regardless She still wanted  Her pictures in Her new room. Our memories like pictures can  bring us back to a specific time and place  and with them the same feelings. A picture can not only say a thousand words but can bring us back into a moment at  a precise point in  space and time. I used to collect  old pictures of strangers from antique shops and dream up stories about them. People often wish for a time machine, but we’ve already  built one, the camera. A photograph  like a memory fades over time, and you can never have too many of the good ones. But unlike memories photographs don’t rearrange themselves. Perhaps this is why we tend to value our photographs so much. We take them, even paying others to take them for us,compile them into books, and save them from  a fire. As a human race we collectively cherish our good memories. The reason for this is evident, life  can be hard! Having the ability to look back  and remember the good times is  often a life saver.  In the early days of my stroke recovery I found myself looking at pictures a lot to remind myself of the wonderful times I’ve had. This is also why when one begins to lose memory it’s so devastating. Much like photographs getting lost or burned up in a house fire. Except the house fire is in the form of a disease like alzheimers or dementia, and sometimes denial. When you’re having a difficult time it’s  vital to tell yourself the right kind of stories. Just as you would look at  happy pictures when your sad, see yourself as the hero and victor in your own story!

Take the good pictures!

bleu

 
 
 
 

"Don't be a hippie, punk."

Juicing-Health

“Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.”

-Ralph Marston.

Nothing worth having is ever easy, and that includes  your health.  I  got a very nice juicer(see here?) for Christmas, so what did I do? A five day juice fast of course! I was  inspired by the Netflix documentary Fat, Sick, and nearly dead(free here!). Your health and longevity is an investment worth the time, effort, and  powering through a kale salad or two!!   The more healthy foods you eat, the easier it becomes. The American diet is highly inflammatory and leads not only to  weight issues, but is also the cause of many diseases. There is a  strong  link  found between sugar and cancer.  As you  stick to a diet heavy on the greens and light on any sugar  you’ll find the cravings tend to subside over time. The average juice fast lasts for three days, but  I chose to  go longer because of all the benefits it provides(see here!)  Much of the food in this country is nutritionally empty, especially any processed or fast foods. However, juicing large amounts of vegetables and fruits, and drinking them provides the ultimate way to absorb nutrients and more then fulfills your daily  serving recommendation. The first day was the easiest, since I was still riding on yesterdays meal. By the  time I reached day  three  other people’s food began to smell really good. However, I was  more then half way there so I turned my nose up at any temptations. During the time you’re only consuming fresh juice, you’ll find it’s best to avoid too much television or people eating. Because   it soon becomes apparent that every other advertisement on television is for food and usually it’s  fast food. By the time I reached day 4 drinking fresh juice for every meal was quite easy. However, I did come to the conclusion that more then a five day fast  is not for me! I mainly did the juice fast for health reasons and not so much weight loss, though it’s quite effective for that! I began my five day journey weighing 139.2 pounds, and ended it at 132.9 pounds. I noticed the first few days that from time to time I became light headed(a detoxing side effect) but this is normal. A juice fast is not advised for those with specific medical conditions, and some people need to do it under the supervision of a  doctor. I chose to wing it, adding in a daily multi vitamin and kefir protein shakes  for lunch and dinner(more filling)  as well as a large handful of raw nuts. It’s important to get proper nutrition during a fast or you could harm yourself. If you become faint  and dizzy stop the fast immediately. Overall I felt better, my skin improved and I could feel my body functioning better. With a projected obesity rate that predicts 3 out of 4 Americans  will be overweight by 2020, health education has never been more vital. Going forward, I plan on  integrating more superfoods and greens into my diet, and much less sugar. Although, it’s okay to have  chocolate once in awhile!  After all, the only time I cheated was for a couple of warm chocolate chip cookies, who am I to  judge?  I highly recommend doing a juice fast and there is tons of research out there  supporting the benefits of a more green diet. Don’t be afraid to be a  “smelly hippie,” rid yourself of the food industries evil toxins and live well, kale yeah, to that!

get juicy and cheers!

bleu

hunger strikes

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America is  full of  conveniences and fast  food  yet were starving. There are many countries that harbor starving citizens, and America is no exception. It would appear that the whole world is starving, but not only for food. There is such a lack of kindness or  acts for  the common good, that when it occurs it either seems out of place or people clamor to  witness it.  We think we want fame, food, and riches, but what we need is more love. We may be at the  top of the food chain or consider ourselves highly evolved but were actually quite simple. If you took away all the distractions and noise  of social media, advertising, and mass consumerism, We really only need basic things. Amid  all the hustle and bustle for what we think we want we’ve forgotten the most important thing, each other. In losing consideration for our fellow man we also lose ourselves. Perhaps  many won’t understand this, unless they’ve been  in need of help themselves.  When we’re selfish it doesn’t benefit us but actually harms us. In nature, it’s  been shown that when a member of the animal kingdom  is selfish, they  actually lower their ability to survive. It seems fit to argue then, that when people are selfish they don’t flourish. Indeed it’s when we help each other that  society as a whole gains. In a city  of millions, it’s not a popular web series that goes viral, but an act of kindness. Below, you too will  witness the results of a person  choosing to be selfless rather then selfish.

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I know many starving artists(or actors) that would kill for the  number of views this video received. Yet  they’re not the ones getting all the attention, instead a simple act of human kindness is taking the cake. Clearly, we desire more then entertainment, but to have a real human connection. Therefore, don’t be afraid to let down your walls and extend a helping hand!

reach out and let in,

bleu

the domino effect

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“Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.” -unknown.

Positive catch phrases are as rampant as fast food chains in  the midwest. They  dot the landscape  with such  a  repetition you  don’t take notice of them or find them to be special in any way. Every so often though, in between these peddlers of obesity making people fat  with empty calories you actually find a restaurant serving real food. The many quotes and positive cliche’s  can be empty as well, but every so often you’ll stumble across something actually meaningful. We are so afraid of failure that  the pursuit of success has become its own institution, with sections of self help literature  taking up real estate in most book stores. Achieving success personally or publicly is a lucrative business and is held in high esteem socially.  Yet, failure still plagues humanity like a  disease, because we’ve all failed. In fact, it’s nearly impossible not to fail. However,  adverse to popular opinion the set  up is in the setback. You can turn failure upside down and it   will  spell s-u-c-c-e-s-s! How? By changing your attitude and not  believing that a failure is the final word on or chapter in your life. The world and society  would have you believe that a failure signifies the end of the road. However, that is far from the truth! If anything a setback can prepare you for an even bigger and better step in your life. Often, hardships not only toughen us up but strengthen us for the next round. Therefore, don’t dwell on the failure, instead push back on that setback and move forward!

onward and cheers,

bleu

 

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