It’s been called a lot of things, but more recently I heard the tag line, “The Peter Pan Syndrome.” You know…NeverNeverLand, The Lost Boys ( also a great 80’s movie), Pirates and Indians?? Personally I always wanted to live there, when I was younger I used to have a re-occurring dream that I was running down the street trying to take flight with the North Star straight ahead of me but I could never quite get far enough off the ground. Needless to say it was such a let down because I wanted to fly there so bad and not to be Wendy but one of the Lost Boys -to paint my face and howl like a wolf and laugh all day-

So this idea is now being supplanted to describe today’s current 20-somethings, male and female but mostly the males.

Living in NYC this seems to be an even larger complaint that I have heard from women, that they just cannot find anyone. I’m sure there are many reasons for this (standards, self respect i.e. quit just hooking up idiots if you want QUALITY !!, and I’m sure just plain immature “men”) So how did this whole thing occur? Bad Economy? A generation of children spawned from divorce and/or broken families that set a bad example of how great such things could be?? Frat houses??( lol) Well I found numerous articles, but only one that really put it well and I think without a ton of speculation, just written by some guy that grew up with a strong male figure ( Link Here).

Yes it is so hard to find a good guy.

Yes it seems women’s biological clocks are going crazy and because were hard wired –like birds know when and how to fly south magically– our bodies also know the expiration date for having kids (this I attribute to the fact that nature/the universe/god, whatever you call it, knows how to implement mechanisms to keep a population going and simply pregnancy is too tough/dangerous for a non-youngish women to go thru) and guys are hard wired to be hunters/providers (and if a guy doesn’t feel stable enough to take care of you.. well.. long live the bachelor life I guess?? They are more logic based so obviously its smart to be stable first but we are emotions based so we don’t wanna wait lol)

Were made to work together, its plain as day. If outside circumstances somehow throw this dance out of balance it just makes it harder to choreograph, doesn’t it ?? If women become crazy feminists that slowly wreak havoc on chivalry or the “traditional” roles men used to fill.. Listen I’m all for independence and equal pay but I’m talking about the women that take it so far as to create a massive shift in the male female relations as to create a negative environment, lets face it, not all of you want babies and marriage but I’ll be damned if I haven’t met one women YET who is truly, truly adverse to that, so what better way not to get those things then to be promiscuous and become some sort of man hater, ya that’s gonna get you there..

I actually sat in on a conversation of male co-workers once recounting all the bad experiences they have had with women like this. One in particular commented on how he rushed to open the door for this woman who had her hands full of groceries and bags (therefore no extra hand available to open the door) and she actually yelled at him “I can do it myself!!” She sat down the bags and opened the door, shoved them in with her foot and then picked them back up. He stated that was the last time he would open a door for a lady.

OI VEY. 

All I have to say is if you aren’t true to your hearts desires it creates havoc. Some women were told its weak to want to be a house wife or want house wifey things or let a man help/support them, I call bullshit. Meanwhile I hear career women and non-career types alike with the SAME complaints. Geezus.

Here is a thought: Accept help when its offered if you need it. Stop being permiscuous and actually demand more. Be true to your hearts desires. You can’t do everything, no really, you can’t, its nice to be ambitious and try but its not likely you’ll achieve status of “I am a rock. I am an Island.” (which is also a song btw)

No man is an Island.

As far as the Peter Pans, well, a shitty economy makes for less stability which makes for a slower “I want to settle down” atmosphere. Also since its true many many people had a less then traditional or stable upbringing it does make it difficult for they, themselves to want to take those steps. I get it, I didn’t have a great example of a relationship either but I did learn the things you should do. Were all scared, we don’t want shitty relationships man. Not to mention a study I read about recently that found that in popular media happy marriages are shown scarcely, (obviously girl movies will always be around) but in general television, ads, etc… it doesn’t portray happy healthy families all that much. None of these things exactly help.

I think we all need to grow up in so many ways  that popular culture doesn’t exactly nurture. Women and Men were made to fit together yet it seems to me that a lot of “worldly” (as in fleeting empty things, money-sex-negativity) things in the modern world make that fitting a lot harder to find. I call not for more marriages and babies but for a realization of all people to right the wrongs and be better then our examples, whatever they were (parents, popular media/culture etc) because clearly a lot of people are not happy or fully satisfied. I believe a sense of purpose and stability can actually lead to happiness, and that intimacy (REAL intimacy) in a relationship is worth far more then the 10,15,20,30,40 hot girls or guys you could sleep with (God help you if you reach those numbers..) and so many of us (humans) are selling ourselves short. Please take off the blinders and see the possibilities. I think all people, male or female simply want the things that love and/or family can offer. YEARS of being behind a bar and hearing old men recount their regrets in never marrying the one they should have or could have.. and women dating around losing hope in finding a good man.. its pretty obvious we all need love, so why as a culture do we keep sabotaging it??

A band whose singer I believe is a deep thinker and a good lyricist, that looks up to Bob Dylan (always a good sign of talent lol) penned these lyrics,although repetitive but true..

Dear Friends, I hope you all find your loves. We deserve so much more then what we are offered by this world, so take it back and make it better.

Cheers!

P.s. I know that I may get a lot of responses from those of you that have differing opinions about this or plain just don’t agree, while I appreciate and want to hear from you, all I ask is that we all keep it a respectful and productive discussion. I want to hear your thoughts, lets bounce our ideas around.