Archive of ‘fear’ category

Reference Point.

reference-point

          “For contrary to legal precedent, women are considered guilty of incompetence until proved otherwise.”  -Amelia Earhart.

For  some time my life has been dictated by the reference point of before the stroke versus after the stroke. The closer I came either physically or mentally to being like myself before the stroke marked improvement and progress. No doubt that is a clear indicator of recovery after such a horrific event. However, what if the stroke wasn’t so much a detriment but something like a  flint against which you  sharpen a rock? I had become that rock. Therefore, rather then pretend that the stroke had destroyed me, why not see that  I was very much still “there?” In personality and physically.  If a city can be rebuilt after undergoing a round of intense bombing, then why couldn’t I?   In this  process it has been imperative to stay positive and be around others who are. Because, sadly as I have experienced first hand, there are more people out there that want to extinguish your light rather then feed the fire.   Personally I am frustrated by the reference point, as I’m sure so are other stroke survivors. To be compared to ones self and trying to outdo it, seems like a cruel sports event. Being stubborn and ambitious, I naturally try to outdo myself(and others) anyway. Not only is that the natural human inclination, but this was something different. I was being measured against myself and  asked to meet the expectations of others. Naturally, this turned into walking a personal war path to prove any naysayers wrong. Maybe you haven’t heard, but anyone who tells you your aspirations are impossible is a liar.  After all, if it can happen to anyone why not you?  Winning the lottery, finding great love, traveling the world, and full recovery after a stroke. I believe all these things are possible to those  that deign to dream them. However, don’t insert a wishbone where a backbone should be. The people that will emerge  after a tragedy and that should be kept in your atmosphere, are the ones that build you up rather then drag you down. When it comes to the naysayers, learn to protect yourself from them and relish the moment you inevitably prove them wrong. Because, if you remain focused on the finish line rather then the hurdles, you will.

Love and light!
bleu
 

Defying Death

assisted-suicide

“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”

-Khalil Gibran.

Not too long ago a friend asked me if I was afraid of death, and She was right in supposing that I am not. In coming so  close to  dying  and surviving, any fears  of it were removed.  Although I cannot completely take the credit. Many doctors,nurses,friends,family,and certainly angels were present. There is no reason to fear death because We are immortal. It has been scientifically shown that, energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Therefore, our energy(or soul) must simply be transferred somewhere else. This  life is a transient plane. If your circumstances are bad, it helps to remind yourself that nothing is forever. This reminder also helps us to savor the present moment.While no one knows what happens to us when We pass,there are many theories. Some people have actually surmised  a weight for our soul( 21 grams). There is no reason to fear. Through my recovery, love has  continually carried me through. Each day We have a choice, there is no “wrong side of the bed.” Were not  at the mercy  of  our emotions. This certainly  doesn’t mean  be robotic,just that We have a choice. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy  having some semblance of control. Even though the World seems random or out of control it is oddly enough quite orderly. The Earth obeys laws of nature, the sun rises and sets each day, and even the stars are  in patterns that create constellations. Each day your lungs inhale oxygen,you open your eyes, and move about freely(some cannot) We are not like a Fall leaf carried by the wind, so this is actually  good news!  You can make a conscious decision to  be happy(and share it with others)or not.  As Yoda says(nerd alert!). Do or do not, there is no try.Hope deferred makes the heart sick, if you  follow the ways of love, you can’t go wrong. Each of us have options(yay options!) We can choose life(positivity) or choose death(negativity) Both have been placed before us. To my knowledge you’ll always win  when you choose life.

LOVE,

bleu