Archive of ‘Life’ category

July 8, 2015

This is not the new me

Usually a makeover is for the better,however sometimes people get “make unders.” I received what I’d call a make under, that came in the form of a massive stroke. In this version rather then getting something better, I have received something terrible(i.e paralysis and a loss of independence). Many people like therapists and doctors, like to allude to this kind of makeover as being my new form. However, just because this is how it is right now, doesn’t mean I have to accept it. To accept bad circumstances, would be a form of settling. In India’s fight against the British Empire, Gandhi declared “They may have my dead body, but they will not have my obedience.” In the same way, the stroke may have nearly ruined my life, but it will not defeat my spirit or break my will. We possess the capacity to evolve and improve, We are never truly stuck. You don’t have to self identify with the lesser. Just as an act of love can create a domino effect for positive change,an act of self defeat can spiral into accepting less then We can achieve. This isn’t to suggest that We should opt to be self serving and greedy(as many already are)but instead to not settle for less then We are capable of.

I certainly don’t declare myself a cripple or identify as being disabled. Instead, I refute these notions and labels, because you will receive what your expecting. Therefore, you should expect more for yourself in life. Many times We create our own limits. Your capable of so much more then your led to believe. Once you start paying attention to your self defeating thoughts or people’s statements, it’s important to negate them either verbally or mentally if you have to. Instead of accepting the statement “You won’t or can’t. change that to “I will or I can.” When you start paying attention to these things, you’ll find that people say(yourself included)these self defeating statements at an alarming rate. Little do people realize that words have power. They have the ability to tear down or build up. As well as the ability to bring into life a new creation. Be careful of the words that leave your mouth and enter your mind. “For out of the heart the mouth speaks.” What’s in your heart will manifest itself into reality. Since this is the case be sure to guard your heart!

Love with no limits,

June 25, 2015

At your funeral

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.” -Garrison Keillor.

I’ll admit, I’ve gotten teary eyed at the thought of my own death and imagining my funeral. However, I didn’t consider how the other people would feel at my funeral. Perhaps this was a sign of my selfishness. As people We all fall prey to this selfish thinking. That is one of the biggest reasons why I don’t bother caring what other people think about me. Because frankly, no one is likely thinking that much about you except yourself! In opening up to other people more I’m more likely to feel emotion for them,which naturally leads to a deeper connection. After being seriously hospitalized I no longer had to imagine my funeral, because I narrowly missed it in reality. This time around in thinking about it I became teary eyed for other people. This is because not too long ago my Father gave me a mental picture of a moment in time that I was not present for. At the time I was in a coma which effectively blanked out a large portion of(20 days)consciousness. In sharing a personal memory He gave me an inroad to his reality during that time. While I was in a coma, He played thumb war with my limp right hand. This is significant because as a child We often played this silly game. All I could think of is how alone in a Hospital room He took my lifeless hand aside and tried to bring some life back into that same small hand, just as it was when I was completely okay. This brought into reality someone else at my funeral. The thought of another person’s heartbreak, brought tears to my eyes and not just for myself. It pained me to think of my sweet Father watching his only child dying,and so badly wanting that little girl of thumb war days back. Imagine if We were all as receptive to each others feelings? How then,would the world change? I wouldn’t doubt that such a thing would make World peace and the need for charities disappear. I have also found that the happier I am in myself and excited about life, I naturally begin to connect with my fellow human beings(or want to for that matter). This is because it has a way of expanding your heart’s boundaries.

Cross your borders!

June 14, 2015

The walking books

“So often people act like they don’t want to be bothered, but I think they yearn for that.” -Iris Apfel

We all have a story, but how often is the cover of that book completely misleading?

The best connections and intimacies happen when We allow or are allowed to peel back the pages of another person’s book. So often it seems that were not allowed to do this. Paper books are read and written,but not our own. Why must We keep our personal stories so secret? It is this lack of sharing and misleading covers that keep us so very disconnected. While it may not be obvious, there is a strong undercurrent in humanity that screams out for connection. Why else are there so many blogs,gangs,addictions,attempted suicides,rich therapists,and internet forums? The very existence of such things is proof of the latter. As a society We succeed at many things, but it is in this realm that we miserably fail. During my recovery I found myself wanting to talk to everyone(even strangers)to the point of having to be reminded not to do it like some sort of child. I simply found myself actually wanting to know people. In having to take a closer look at my own story, I badly wanted to know others. Because at the moment my pages were(are)suspended in disbelief, and I desperately needed to find some common ground with my fellow humans. There are so many problems I see that could easily be fixed if there was some support. It’s as if since the culture of the Leave It to Beaver 1950’s,we have effectively learned how to remove our hands from supporting the crowd surfer overhead. In doing this they fall to the ground and hopefully haven’t broken anything. However, would any of us even stop to ask them if they’re alright? I’ve gotten some of the greatest pleasure in simply being allowed to get to know someone. It’s not often when a total stranger allows you to read their book. I have found that in places of injury(rehab) people are the most open and willing to have a connection. Devastation is the great equalizer. When the world is seemingly ending, there is no time to create prejudices, categories,or invisible rules. We are all simply people in need of love,safety,food,and shelter. The real tragedy lies in the fact that until someone tries to destroy that world(ours or actually)We blissfully operate in these divides. Never has it been more evident to me that “United We stand,but alone,We fall.”

Open up your book!

June 5, 2015

Cacoon

“Sometimes when you go through a dark period, you come out on the other side even more beautiful.”-unknown.

Everyone has gone through a dark time, in the beginning it’s always difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel(or if there is any at all). After being discharged from the Hospital, and being able to take into account the gravity of my situation, I saw nothing but a gaping black hole,and at times I still feel that way. However, with a very large dose of some real hope(God and physical progress) I was finally able to start seeing if only but a glimmer, the light reflecting off of something that I couldn’t entirely comprehend. Any notions of a linear life timeline that I had previously thought of was now effectively bent into all different directions. I had set myself afoot on a pathway that checked off most of the(in my mind)practical boxes. A great secure job,a nice place to live, a savings,and a closet full of clean( if fashionable)clothes.However, on this new winding path, I had a problem, because my previous path had disappeared on me! Now I was left blindly searching to get back on my path once again. It was as if I were Alice in Wonderland asking the Cheshire cat for directions and I was beginning to realize that rather then follow a path, I’d likely have to make my own. Each of us is making a path,but sometimes you get stuck in a particularly hard patch that’s rough to cut through. You can consume all the self help books you want,but nothing quite teaches or shapes you like experience. Besides cliche’ one liners can only comfort you so much, before you decide to throw the book out and write your own. The thing is, quite a few of those one liners are actually correct. Particularly the ones on hardship,storms,and transformation(as the quote above). Unfortunately though, some transformations can be painful. Just as a blacksmith beats iron into shape, sometimes were beat into shape as well. The good news is, that We usually come out on the other side better. Even though I cannot see it now, my better sense tells me that there is a dawn and it’s coming will bring with it the songs of the morning birds and my ransom from a dark cage. The question is, now that the path is gone,where will the new one I forge lead? Now his is the fun part(and terrifying)because you’ll find the answer is a resounding, “anywhere!” It’s okay to fall off the path once in awhile, so long as you don’t stray too far and just know that you possess the power to create a new one.

Fly high butterfly!

June 3, 2015

Social Media Savior

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”
― John Lennon.

While social media is a curse and a blessing, I’ve found it to be a blessing in my particular situation. Getting back on Facebook after I had disappeared for a year allowed me to update and get back in touch with the many friends I had missed. I received comments akin to “Oh thank God, when I saw you were back I was relieved!” As much as some despise social media it does serve a purpose. For me, it meant letting people know that I was okay after a huge accident. Without these interactions, I would have lost touch with quite a few people. This proved especially important since I was isolated in recovery and had seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth. This led me to contemplate what social media means to those people that find themselves isolated( as well,or home bound because of an illness. It could very well be their only means to a social life. For many(myself included) it’s a fishing line cast into an Ocean that is the world. The problem is, that it gives a false sense of connection without actually being “connected.” For this reason our cyber life needs to be balanced with real life interactions as well. Otherwise, it could actually achieve the opposite effect and make a person feel lonely. More recently I’ve hopped on the bandwagon that is Snapchat. Have you heard of this? Since I felt like the Glass Man in the film Amelie(watch the video below!)

click here—–>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y2bsfZzgPs

Snapchat became like the pleasant little video that let me in on the lives of friends and the rest of the ”outside world.” Despite the merits of social media We mustn’t forget the person that’s behind the computer screen or on the other end of the keyboard. It’s all too easy to have many “friends,” but in actuality be alone.Therefore, pick up a phone,write a letter,hop on(or in) your transportation of choice and make a real connection. You might just find you enjoy the world of three dimension!

Cheers and paper over e-mail,

May 26, 2015

If love tears us apart,tragedy brings us together.

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” -Charlie Chaplin.

Through my recovery I’ve discovered an invisible divide. Even when surrounded by people in the general public, I felt as if I was on the other side of a chasm. Because while I could physically reach out and touch another person, they were still miles away. I could voice what I was going through, but nothing quite explains it like shared experience does. Fortunately, that chasm feels like it’s getting more narrow. I’ve even found myself happy when a friend came to me with something scary or possibly tragic that had happened. While I certainly don’t wish for anything bad to befall them, I found myself becoming comfortable in the space of rehabilitation(mind,body,and soul) it was in these places where broken people came to be “fixed,” that I was at ease. Am I broken? No, but perhaps the world would generally see it that way. It was in rooms for rehabilitation, that I wished my friends could be there too. As if it were some type of inclusive club, I wanted them to join too. If common interests bring two people into friendship, it’s a tragedy that can truly meld them together. I didn’t like being on the other side of an invisible wall watching the world pass by me. A world that had jobs,social lives,significant others,the ability to drive,independence,freedom,and went to bed every night without having to wear braces or go to therapy, but generally their time was spent how they wanted. I felt as though my life,time,and freedom of choice had been hijacked by the most evil of beings. I desired to bring a friend into my “fishbowl,”not to commiserate, but to relate. Bonds are built and strengthened when you go through a tragedy with someone. It beats you up initially, then it leaves you open. In the aftershock,you stumble around and bump into other confused victims. In meeting them you can understand and relate to the bandages that both of you now need. I don’t consider myself a victim,but rather a survivor,and what do survivors do? They take the lessons learned to rebuild, fight back, and become stronger. Because of that initial beating I’ve had to rebuild too and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

– Keep on your boxing gloves,

May 5, 2015

Unlimited Miracles

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t either way, you are right.” -Henry Ford.

In a world ravaged by the pains of “reality,” it’s easy to forget that miracles do happen. By all accounts and in reality, I very well should not be here(see here) or find it difficult to communicate with you. However, I’ve defied the odds because of a miracle. It’s easy for us to limit ourselves as well as miracles. What many people don’t acknowledge is our limitless possibilities as humans, it’s one of the most beautiful things about us. I used to think I had to make things happen, which in many ways I did. When you take responsibility for your reality,monitor your thoughts,and actively choose to change it,good things manifest in your life. Just because you cannot see it in the physical sense doesn’t mean it’s not there. Our lives begin in our mind. Therefore, don’t self identify with your doubts, or put up with negative thoughts, they can be countered and they’re simply not you. It’s difficult at first to counter the little voices that tell you, you can’t but after some time it becomes easy(even fun to thwart them!)and with them out of the way it will allow your confidence to blossom. Our thoughts can produce our reality. To quote the bible “You shall know them by their fruits.” We can be trees that blossom,multiply,and are fruitful! Much of it begins in our minds. If the circumstances don’t agree with you, strive to actively change them. To do this you will find yourself having to negate all those sentences that begin with but, I can’t, and don’t. The mind is a battlefield and often you can be your own worst enemy. Rather then comply, fight the path of least resistance and go against the grain. This can become a chore but when you bear the fruits of that labor, they will surely be sweet. Too often We let ”reality,” limit our miracles. I’ve had to tell people to stop being so realistic! The fact is, We create our own glass ceilings. Sometimes it’s us that create the limits or it can be others. One of many solutions would be to either hangout with like minded people,ignore the naysayers,or address it(tactfully). The best adventure stories are those that overcome the odds and make their way through a battle and claim the victory. I don’t believe that anybody held(or wrote?) a story about a heroine that always gave into doubts and fears in high esteem. During this life write your own epic adventure and certainly don’t be afraid of the battles.

May you win every war and cheers!

April 26, 2015

Pick your poison.

If I’m anxious and I pinpoint where I lost my peace, that will usually expose the lie I believed. -Bill Johnson.

Our thought life is just as important to us as our physical world because thoughts can manifest into the physical. Throughout my recovery it has been essential to think as positive as possible(or sometimes not at all) I found that what I read,listened to,and believed in had a big affect on how I felt. I now avoid or simply don’t do the things that have proven to be toxic and bring me down. Many times I’ve had to block out the bad things people have said in order to continue with a hopeful and determined spirit. Whatever brings you down or dashes your hope is usually a lie. Sometimes you have to put on “earmuffs,” and continue on with what you know to be true. I’ve found that you simply have to ignore the snakes in your apple tree because they only serve to bring you down. There are many forms a snake can take. It could be your Doctor, a stranger,an article that focuses on the negative,internet forums(strangers) or even a coworker. I have learned the hard way to avoid using Google too much or especially any internet forums! As it turns out both will either give you false information or seriously bring you down. The solution? Simply immerse yourself in what is light and steer clear of any darkness. My recovery has been a fight for my life in many ways so I choose to avoid what could bring me down. As a general observation it seems the majority of the population will take from you(in the physical or spiritual) so stick by those that know how to give and lift you up. As I think We all know, life is just too short to let someone(or something) steal your precious time with doubt,worry,fear,or grudges. Going through life without encountering these things is nearly impossible. However, it is possible to choose to not let it effect you. As it turns out when dealing with these things, getting angry actually helps. At some point when your sick of these things trying to bring you down, it’s time to fight back. Thwart those thoughts, keep good company, and by all means don’t” Google it.”

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=the+power+of+words Oddly enough not everything that has power is physical, your words can pack a punch too. Speak with words what you want to bring into existence. Were creative beings, therefore our words create our realities. This gives validity to the belief that speaking to your plants will help them grow. We are just as organic and words can help us grow as well. Rather then spitting poison darts at others or even yourself, watch what you say, think,and take in from others because just as these can build you up, they can also tear you down. We all need to learn how to speak life into ourselves, and each other. Because a positive force propels you upward not downward.

Onward&Upward!

April 14, 2015

Limits

Do your circumstances limit you? Not only can your circumstances limit you physically, but sometimes also mentally. I had a worrisome thought recently that perhaps my circumstances had begun to limit me mentally.(free your mind here!)This I think is worse then being limited physically(although neither is desirable)because We operate best when were dreaming. I have always been a dreamer and a schemer, which normally gave way to accomplishments in reality. I had a moment of the “f word,”(fear)when I thought for a moment(i.e a day) that because my circumstances had limited me my thoughts were also becoming limited. I have seen perfectly capable people limit themselves solely in their thought lives. Our thought life is just as important as our physical health, because our thoughts determine our realities. Often my dreams have given way to real life successes. For anyone to mentally limit themselves or not be told about our limitless possibilities is a scary thing. It wasn’t until I spoke to a longtime friend that my fears were quelled. She pointed out that I haven’t let my circumstances limit me. I felt quite limited and hopeless because of my circumstances at times. However, as time has passed I’ve learned how powerful your thoughts are in relation to your reality. If a nagging little voice tells you that you can’t, it’s best to reply “I CAN.” Because more then likely that’s the truth. Once I made it a conscious effort to negate these limiting thoughts, a door opened where I once found it to be closed. At that point I did what I could do, to accomplish what I wanted. Even if it seemed small or insigificant. This has resulted in signing up for a 5k(when I can’t totally run) and raising money online to accomplish a daydream. Neither of these things were presented to me as possible. In fact they were deemed to be impossible. If your not the rebellious type just once do something just because people(and sometimes yourself) tell you that you can’t. Without throwing all caution to the wind, once you accomplish said “impossible,” feat you’ll realize just how fun it is. If you like having fun(I’m guessing you do) this may send you headlong into doing all sorts of things your not supposed to be doing. In time, after you’ve gone against this little voice and the naysayers you may just find your life has changed.

Cheers& no fears!

April 7, 2015

F is for Fear

I realize I have not been completely honest with you dear reader. In my definition of strength, I thought it meant you had to remain a pillar toughing it out on your own remaining positive. While I am quite hopeful and idealistic, no man is an island. On the surface the water is calm. However, drop a rock of fear in and the ripples of doubt and worry unfurl into a large splash. If I let one little pebble of fear in they quickly accumulate into a boulder. Since I began reading this book(look!) my definition of strength is changing. Because, in the act of going it alone and not asking I’ve essentially left people out rather then let them in. The truth is when this tragedy occurred to me I had a lot to lose)and since I awoke in a Hospital rehab it has been a small step away from spiraling into a black hole. I’ve gotten quite good at shutting my thoughts off. If one little pebble of fear does eke it’s way in it’s a slippery slope. Therefore, you have to find things to keep looking forward to. All of a sudden a mall trip actually becomes a lifesaver(I don’t even like malls) the key is distraction. Besides distraction it becomes imperative to surround yourself with positivity and keep it near. Not only is positivity a must, but so are good people. One of the strongest forces in this universe is love and during difficult times you can’t get enough of it. If you truly love people enough they will give you everything. In other words it’s not about material belongings or gifts but human connection. All of us are asking, “Do you see me?” As most of us know already(I hope) material goods are of little use or value if your not happy and healthy. I found myself so detached from consumerism( quite a change for me!) that my Mother had to tell me to quit giving things away. When the winds of life pushed me onto a different path I seriously began to question the need for anything but the essentials. When I was in my early twenties, I scrawled this quote in black sharpie(of course) on my wall “ The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away.”-unknown. If I remove a picture on my wall it’s still there and how funny it is that this message from the past to my future self still holds true, take that Back to the Future! If something I have can bring happiness to someone else, I can’t give it to them fast enough. It has boiled down to, rather then a new sweater I’d rather make someone happy. Life is for sharing not accumulating things. It reminds me of the junk troll in The Labyrinth.

She roamed David Bowie’s magical kingdom with a heavy load on Her back. Rather then making the load more weight bearing, I’m attempting to get rid of mine. I want to breathe lightly and clear. It’s the air filling our lungs that keeps us alive. More burdens steal your breath. Whether it’s meditation, church, or remaining idealistic and positive that helps you breathe, whatever lightens the load for you keep playing that hand.

I leave you with a lovely tune,

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmRDM7GyJXE&w=420&h=315%5D

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