Life is a series of moments continuously strung together like the individual cells of a film reel. Often, these individual screen shots blend together, and pass without our notice. Since time moves on without us (whether we like it or not) how can we possibly stop it, or slow it down in order to fully absorb these precious individual moments? After realizing what an absolute GIFT everyday Life is (and has been) since I suffered a stroke, this time thing has been a struggle for Me. I wanted to stop it, and pick up where I left off, not to mention remain the same age I was when the stroke happened( 28). But alas, time moves on. Therefore, I instead had to take a different approach. I included a picture of the sign I try to look at everyday in my House. Whether I like the particular moment I’m in or not, I must accept that it is happening and in real time! I haven’t perfected slowing time down yet, but reminders like that sign, and using mindfulness techniques, help me to notice and make the most of my Day. More recently, rather than thinking only of myself I’ve begun to more closely observe other people. It has been through watching the sweet faces of my loved ones that has signaled to me, when a moment I need to slow down is happening. For example the look on the face of the closest person I have to a Brother(I’m an only child) while I was playing peek-a-boo with His Son told Me I was in the midst of a moment to remember. It was a look that clearly communicated His feeling, that He was touched I was alive to play with His precious Son. It’s something that when the stroke first occurred, my Family wasn’t sure would ever happen. Especially since, I was given slim survival odds. I’d rather the stroke never occurred, but it has had some upsides. Namely, forcing me to learn Life lessons much earlier in my time on Earth than I expected to! It’s taken a near complete loss of Life in order to wake Me up to its Beauty. I imagine, such is the case for many people. However, those people didn’t make it through to have the same realizations that I have. I’ve never met another survivor of a massive stroke like mine, because they’re all passed on. It’s a sobering thought, and one that reminds me not to waste the Day. Whatever your circumstances are, I highly recommend mindfulness, practicing gratitude, and savoring the moment. Because- one way or another all your precious moments will come to an end. So, don’t waste or be ignorant of them!
Posts Tagged ‘beauty’
Transient.
“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”
― John Lennon.
Do you know what a mandala is? It’s an intricate design made with colored sand created by Tibetan Monks. Each one holds a different meaning and at the end of a certain period of time, the monk who created it(taking hours and days) destroys it. Why?(here)What is the lesson we can draw from it? It is one of the impermanence of our existence. Although short, it’s important to make something as beautiful as you can before it is wiped away. This speaks to the temporal state of life and is wholly encouraging. Because, since things are generally temporary, this also means there is no way you can be stuck in bad circumstances forever. In fact, it is assuring to know that there is an end. One can draw an admirable parallel, that despite these monks knowing their creation will eventually be destroyed, they painstakingly create it anyway. As easy as it would be to make one in a hurry or be lazy about it, they choose to break their backs(and maybe cross their eyes) over the intricate design of a mandala. These humans don’t simply give up or become laissez-faire about it but rather, the opposite! No endeavor is neglected in spite of its impermanence. In the midst of struggle this creation and symbolic destruction of a mandala brings hope. It points to focusing on the positive, creating something beautiful while you can, and the eventual end to a bad situation. In that vein I’d encourage you to “ Make something beautiful while your here, because it’s temporary.” Use the bright colors that dwell in your heart to make a beautiful pattern with your life.
don’t forget to add color!
They tell me I'm pretty.
“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius.
What value does being pretty really have? Is it financially gainful? In some cases, yes. Is it morally upright? Does it validate your existence? It would appear that in many societies it does. Especially if you’re of the female persuasion. There was a time, when I felt validated only by my pretty face. Coming to the conclusion that if nothing else, at least I was pretty. However, I’d much rather have a functioning left arm than big pretty eyes! Another important question, “What really matters?” I found myself resigned to a wheelchair, a cane,bulky(heavy)braces, and at one point the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my life. Where there was once freedom of movement, cute little shoes, and fashionable clothes I found myself stuck with the opposite at the time. Being in these unwanted and unfavorable circumstances made me question my self worth and even sexuality as a Woman. I no longer felt attractive. In turn this effected how I felt and perceived the world around me. It brought with it the question of, for many other Women who are(or have become) disabled, how do they feel? Because, until certain aspects of your “normal,” life experience change, there are so many nuances you don’t realize or perceive. Sure, it’s quite nice to be told how pretty you are. But really, in the big scheme of things, what does it matter? I remember one comment I received in particular(though funny at the time) was quite telling of our general attitude towards physical appearance. “Well, at least it didn’t mess up your face!” In regards to the stroke, although I’ll readily admit I’m thankful it didn’t. However, what if it did!? Would I find myself relegated to the forgotten in the world’s population? What a sad truth this is for our society. We place value on things where there isn’t a whole lot and no value on things where there is much. In fact for some time I had to be stopped from giving away all my belongings, because after what I went through, the value of them dropped! At one point in time where I would spend frivilously, I now carefully(and delibrately) saved. We all know beauty is only skin deep, but how often do we act on that truth? If we actually did, the cosmetics industry would plummet, bank account balances would rise, and eating disorders would be arcane. Therefore, take care of your physical health and appreciate the body you have. Especially since it’s on loan and you can’t take it with you!
respect yourself,
Impact
“You can’t get rid of fear, it’s like Mother Nature.You can’t beat it or outrun it, but you can get through it, and find out what you’re made of.” – the good dinosaur(Pixar)
Whether your influence is of the dark or of the light, both really matter. Because like in bumper cars, sometimes life hits us and we get sent in all sorts of directions, but after the initial impact we can usually choose in which direction we’re going to go. We all deal with things differently, and over time like butterflies, we experience a metamorphosis. Where one person can turn a bad circumstance into good, others mistakenly follow or choose a darker path. The world expertly presents us with things that are “good,” but are actually cloaked in darkness. For example, all that yummy processed food that will eventually kill you, or the allure of tarot cards and the occult.This was pointed out to me in a dream recently. No matter what your trial is you have a choice in how to deal with it. Oftentimes our trials change us, like water running over rocks and changing their shapes and textures. Not only do trials and time change us, but they also show us what we’re made of. Some of us will be pleasantly surprised by our resilience, while others bitterly disappointed by our brokenness. The fact is, we all have the potential to be either built up or broken down. That’s why it’s so important to choose the paths that lead you into the light of happiness, faith, love, and hope. Rather than the darkness of negativity,hopelessness, and depression. Whatever your going through there are many positive resources available to you, you just have to do some foot work! Not only that, but pay attention to and remind yourself of all the things that give life beauty. Whether it be in nature or in human kindness(like the video below )
Florence and the Machine sing to and for a young girl with cancer in Her hospital room that couldn’t attend their concert.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzw7MOBS9lg&w=560&h=315%5D
if you slow down and look closer you will find it. I promise you it’s there.
cheers + love + hope!
I am a lost boy
“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”
-Max Lerner.
This song has been haunting me, echoing through my mind like a voice down an empty hallway. We have all been “lost boys,” at one point or another. Whether we’re lonely, trying to find our way, or just plain old mischievous and free of obligations. The funny thing is, the lost boys actually had a large group of friends, yet were still considered lost.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3m_V1XNPxA&w=560&h=315%5D
Perhaps you too have been part of a crowd but still felt like you didn’t quite belong. I first heard the song wafting over the radio airwaves on a dark night time drive, and again at a beautiful dance recital that was punctuated with the feeling of endings(a last dance for High School Senior students. I love music because it has a way of expressing and relating nearly every emotion through it’s sonic landscape. I always said when I died I wanted to become a music note. As a musical note I could weave in and out of space and be emitted over waves of sound. As well as touch people’s hearts. When you’re a music note your essentially immortal and always a part of something beautiful. Of course we can’t talk about Peter Pan without mentioning Captain Hook. What is your personal Captain Hook? Because we all have one. He comes in the form of opposition, negativity, and hardships. When we’re looking to find our way and having hope for a future each of us becomes a “lost boy.” Then, we grow up much to our chagrin and the tribe of lost boys scatters. No longer do you have that adolescent camaraderie and sense of adventure. As the world becomes less new and your feet change sizes, so does our reality and the people in it. Suddenly adult obligations or responsibilities begin to seep into and take apart the tribe of lost boys. However, the invisible thread that at once connected us is always there. We may grow and change but our hearts and spirits remain largely the same. Sometimes the wind will carry a tune to my ear or a familiar smell to my nose and gently remind me of my tribe. Although they’re scattered about I know that their still there. Having a stroke has displaced me as a lone tribe member looking for the path to our hideout in the woods. As I wander I keep an eye out for it to emerge once again from the shrouded trees. Dear friend, may We all discover that path and find our way back to belonging.
pals & pixie dust,
bag lady beauty review:
“‘The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it’s not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It’s because of Beyonce’s handbags.”
- I have spent many a day inside of a Sephora, and pride myself on being quite the product aficionado. I even applied for a job to be a cast member(see here) at one in Times Square out of sheer desperation, for the discount, and because why not? While perhaps thankfully I didn’t get the job, I don’t mind dishing out my knowledge for free. However, the discount would’ve been nice. Not to mention adding more unnecessary pretty things to my makeup arsenal. Sadly I mostly bought it all because I’m a sucker for well designed packaging and pretty colors(kinda like a kid in the sugar cereal aisle. These days, I have gone either bare or for the “no makeup, makeup.” That being said, without further ado.. here are my must haves all spilling out of this bag.
- Benefit gimme brow(find it here)
- Sarah Mcnamara miracle skin transformer(find it here)
- Evian Water facial spray(I got made fun of for this one) wonderous in a hot NY subway mist me!
- Lipstick Queen jean queen(find it here your highness.
- Emani all natural face powder(find it here)
- Bare Minerals handy buki(brush it all on here)
- The iphone 6(with hipster wallpaper) because I love my gadgets…
- Crown&Glory hair accessories(sparkle more here!
- Top it off with Miss Dior parfume(here) my favorite.
- Bust Magazine(subscribe?) not necessary but awesome.
- With all these in your arsenal you’ll achieve the au’ naturale look and smell rather magnificent!
fake it til’ ya make it,
P.S for a laugh check this out(http://www.whowhatwear.com/miley-cyrus-jimmy-kimmel
When are you pretty?
“All little girls should be told they are pretty,even if they aren’t.”
-Marilyn Monroe.
We all know them,beautiful celebrities,and internet beauties.Men want them and some women want to be them.I used to look at photos of women I found to be beautiful,but I stopped.Why would I avoid this you may ask? Well, I realized that taking in another’s physical beauty made me forget and value less my own.It’s no secret that ladies fall into the comparison trap.How could you not when television,magazines,and some facets of social media are dominated by gossip and the admiration of beautiful women.Unfortunately that’s our culture,but I choose to avoid it.Because it only serves to bring you down and glaze over your own lovely attributes.Not too long ago I heard an interesting idea, that by reveling or envying another woman’s beauty you can forget your own and in a way disallow Her to express Hers.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.However, what if it’s in the mind? Do you feel prettiest in a physical sense(i.e dress,features,a body)or do you feel it the most internally? Some people feel prettiest when they get a certain look from a significant other,when their having a good hair day,when they help a stranger,or when they look good in clothes.I would be lying if I said physical appearance doesn’t matter to us.Indeed it’s as much in the mind as it is in a physical expression.I find the more I avoid the comparison trap,the more I see my particular brand of beauty.This is why We should all try to avoid these negative sources.It is wonderful how much better you’ll feel when you allow yourself to be built up,rather then torn down.We have all heard over and over the problems and complexities of raising a new generation of girls to be strong and value themselves.That’s wonderful but what about the grownup girls too!? Change occurs from the top down,so if we want a better future for females then said females need a good board to jump off of.This begins by everyone feeling pretty(awww)whether it’s on the inside or out for you it doesn’t matter.As long as you find it and I can promise you it’s there! I don’t like to make promises often,but this one is easy.I know that feminism can be a dirty word, but that shouldn’t make self confidence one!
Therefore go out there and fear no mirror! Instead look back at yourself as you imagine a person who adores you would.Find your favorite features,think about what makes you happy.If nothing else start avoiding the comparison trap and see yourself with fresh unbiased eyes.
Self love and cyber hugs!