Archive of ‘Life’ category

Resonate

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”~ E.E. Cummings.

This is no fashion blog, but I’ve noticed  a  trend. Among my most popular posts the subjects  involving reassurance, love, and  hope  by far get the most response. Why is that? Because were human.  You may have grown into an “adult,” with all its benefits and   mundane responsibility, but you’re still a child.  Considering this truth, it’s pretty clear that  our needs may have  changed, but they’re not drastically different. We still need the basics, but the most important one  often gets forgotten, reassurance! Just because we’ve been potty trained(I hope) doesn’t mean that suddenly we have no need to be reassured or coddled any longer. Actually  it’s quite the opposite, as adults we might need it even more. Because our challenges are still just as difficult only the scale has changed.  People wrongly assume that you can deal with things on your own, but everyone could use some  reassurance from someone other than themselves. It’s because we  have a need to feel part of a community, and to know we’re doing good in this thing called life. I love when people tell me the progress they have noticed or reassured me that something is going to work out or be okay. This is especially important because I don’t notice the changes in myself, none of us really do. Therefore, when a change is positive I want to know about it! While your particular situation may not be as difficult as mine it  can still  be a hardship nonetheless. Just as a child receives praise for their artistic fridge drawing, We need praise just as much if not more for our accomplishments too.  As you(should) know “little,people” and big grow  the best in a nurturing environment. So, why  does the nurturing stop when we become “adults?” There  is no end to your ability to grow throughout life, and scientifically  speaking energy can neither be created or destroyed. You know what can be created or destroyed?  The short answer is growth. People can be given a place and a way to grow or find themselves stunted. My height will  likely never exceed 5’ 8” but the  size of my spirit can  become larger than life. There  is no end to the possibilities in life, so why stop  growing and helping others to grow?

add fertilizer!

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The Girl who lived

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“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” -Denis Waitley.

If your familiar with Harry Potter at all, then you know about “the  boy who lived.”

To sum it up, He  was the very unlikely survivor of a dubious attack by the wizarding world’s most powerful wizard, Voldemort. Because of  this He garnered for himself tons of attention, along with  some unwanted expectations and unexpected responsibilities. I too, have faced my own  powerful evil wizard, but in the form of a massive stroke. Not only did surviving it garner me much attention as well, but also  an unexpected responsibility. Although I wasn’t asked to do anything specific, as I regained my mental prowess I  suddenly had a sense of responsibility. Because of what happened to me, I felt not only  that I should live to the fullest, but also that I  wanted  to share the good news with others that  needed to hear it. Now the fictional Harry Potter and I actually had something in common; We were not only survivors but we had lived, lived through unspeakable horrors, lived to tell the tale, and most importantly lived to inspire others. Unsuspectingly a sense of responsibility was thrust upon me, not because of what happened but in spite of it. I didn’t owe anyone anything, but I  had the need and desire to spread the hope, love, and strength  I  had found with others. If I  failed to do that, I felt it was a failure  to pay forward the gift I had been given. Other people needed to know what I knew as a result of tragedy and the occurrence of a miracle. Instead of paying forward our negativity or bad attitude, I sought to do the opposite. A nuclear event had happened in my life, and now I and others were sure to feel the after shocks. However, in some way, in the search to minimize the damage   I received grace. A grace that  allowed   me to prosper in  a  seemingly desert landscape of possibility. In  being given this seed of grace, I wanted to plant a forest of   hope, love, and light that would generate oxygen for all of us to breathe in. Therefore, nurture your own seed of  grace, so that it may grow into a beautiful forest we can all benefit from.

grow it!

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Help

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“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?”

-Brian Tracy.

Sometimes We can’t do everything and have to humble ourselves. After  a lifetime of being stubborn and independent, having to ask for so much help was altogether humbling and produced a great patience in me. Before I was injured I did everything when and how I wanted to. However, in the hospital and after I had to have assistance and help with nearly everything. Not only was I not used to asking for help but it was painful having to wait so long(or seemingly) for everything. I even needed help to cut my own nails! I have never been all that patient, but now I had no choice but to be patient and gracious when things weren’t done how I’d normally prefer them.  It was not only difficult having to ask and then wait, but it made me feel set back as well. We live in a “I want it now,” society. Therefore, waiting  to do anything(especially everyday tasks) was excruciating. We all need help sometimes, but never to this extent.   To ask for so much help was not only humbling but a great teacher of patience.  Imagine having to wait  to do what you want, when you never really had to. The experience of this was not only a lesson but highlighted the fact that  We are definitely spoiled by convenience. Most of all  in my times of need little human Angels popped up everywhere. This was not only a lesson in patience and humility, but community too. We all need each other more than you realize. In fact after being put into such a situation, it was clear to me that we’d all be better  off if society valued the servant roles as much as the master roles. In our pursuit for control we  miss out on the beauty of a shared human experience. How much easier  and full of love would life be, if We all helped each other rather than only ourselves? After being in a place of so much need I now understand the importance of serving and helping others. I actually look  out  for and forward to opportunities to help someone. As well as look back at the times I had them and didn’t. To share in the life and joys of another, even a stranger is more fulfilling than living selfishly. For each person that went out of their way for me, they made my day better and it was done  for no personal gain. All  of these small acts of kindness are woven into a larger tapestry that creates our experience of humanity, and  all of humanity is better when We share it.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWP6Qki8mWc&w=420&h=315%5DIt’s a lesson I wish I would’ve learned sooner than later. For, had that happened I would have spent so much more time sharing my life with others who needed help at that moment. In doing so and giving of yourself, you gain so much more than what you give. Don’t wait too long to realize this but the sooner you begin the better!

Go, Angel Go!

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keep pushing

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I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

-Thomas A. Edison

 
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If a little seedling  can manage to grow through cement, why can’t you do the same with your difficult  circumstances? The world worships at the feet of the God of success, but what do we do with failure and catastrophe? Rather than meet these challenges with a smile, We crumble and fade from them. When you’re going through a hard time keep smiling. Make people wonder where  that smile came from, and how it got there. Meet life dancing with your hand in the air rather than lying down. Imagine what you’d do if the floor was pulled out from beneath you, because that’s what happened to me actually! In one fell swoop, I lost my high paying job, my apartment, a significant other, and my left arm and leg were paralyzed. I went to bed expecting to go to work and then home to New York City, but instead woke up in a Hospital back where I started with even less than I had   as a child. In this situation you can either give  up  and fall into the arms of a suicidal depression or   get up  even when you don’t feel like it. Despite my desire to bury myself under the covers in my bed,  I  forced myself  to get up and go to rehab every week. Because, regardless of how I felt, life wasn’t going to hand  progress over to me  I had to push back to achieve it. I can assure you , that if I can  do it, so can you! Just as trout swim miles upstream to spawn, sometimes  we find ourselves swimming upstream as well.  Perhaps  we aren’t swimming upstream to spawn, but  our reasons are not so different from the trouts. That reason is simple,  both of us are swimming towards  Life and not away.

God speed!

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"say cheese."

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“The true warrior isn’t immune to fear, She fights in spite of it.” -Francesca Lia Block.

What’s the best memory  you have from your life? I asked my 97 year old Great Grandma. “ I don’t think about those things much anymore.” She replied. Whether it’s because She can’t remember or doesn’t want to I’m not sure, but regardless She still wanted  Her pictures in Her new room. Our memories like pictures can  bring us back to a specific time and place  and with them the same feelings. A picture can not only say a thousand words but can bring us back into a moment at  a precise point in  space and time. I used to collect  old pictures of strangers from antique shops and dream up stories about them. People often wish for a time machine, but we’ve already  built one, the camera. A photograph  like a memory fades over time, and you can never have too many of the good ones. But unlike memories photographs don’t rearrange themselves. Perhaps this is why we tend to value our photographs so much. We take them, even paying others to take them for us,compile them into books, and save them from  a fire. As a human race we collectively cherish our good memories. The reason for this is evident, life  can be hard! Having the ability to look back  and remember the good times is  often a life saver.  In the early days of my stroke recovery I found myself looking at pictures a lot to remind myself of the wonderful times I’ve had. This is also why when one begins to lose memory it’s so devastating. Much like photographs getting lost or burned up in a house fire. Except the house fire is in the form of a disease like alzheimers or dementia, and sometimes denial. When you’re having a difficult time it’s  vital to tell yourself the right kind of stories. Just as you would look at  happy pictures when your sad, see yourself as the hero and victor in your own story!

Take the good pictures!

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hunger strikes

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America is  full of  conveniences and fast  food  yet were starving. There are many countries that harbor starving citizens, and America is no exception. It would appear that the whole world is starving, but not only for food. There is such a lack of kindness or  acts for  the common good, that when it occurs it either seems out of place or people clamor to  witness it.  We think we want fame, food, and riches, but what we need is more love. We may be at the  top of the food chain or consider ourselves highly evolved but were actually quite simple. If you took away all the distractions and noise  of social media, advertising, and mass consumerism, We really only need basic things. Amid  all the hustle and bustle for what we think we want we’ve forgotten the most important thing, each other. In losing consideration for our fellow man we also lose ourselves. Perhaps  many won’t understand this, unless they’ve been  in need of help themselves.  When we’re selfish it doesn’t benefit us but actually harms us. In nature, it’s  been shown that when a member of the animal kingdom  is selfish, they  actually lower their ability to survive. It seems fit to argue then, that when people are selfish they don’t flourish. Indeed it’s when we help each other that  society as a whole gains. In a city  of millions, it’s not a popular web series that goes viral, but an act of kindness. Below, you too will  witness the results of a person  choosing to be selfless rather then selfish.

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I know many starving artists(or actors) that would kill for the  number of views this video received. Yet  they’re not the ones getting all the attention, instead a simple act of human kindness is taking the cake. Clearly, we desire more then entertainment, but to have a real human connection. Therefore, don’t be afraid to let down your walls and extend a helping hand!

reach out and let in,

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the domino effect

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“Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.” -unknown.

Positive catch phrases are as rampant as fast food chains in  the midwest. They  dot the landscape  with such  a  repetition you  don’t take notice of them or find them to be special in any way. Every so often though, in between these peddlers of obesity making people fat  with empty calories you actually find a restaurant serving real food. The many quotes and positive cliche’s  can be empty as well, but every so often you’ll stumble across something actually meaningful. We are so afraid of failure that  the pursuit of success has become its own institution, with sections of self help literature  taking up real estate in most book stores. Achieving success personally or publicly is a lucrative business and is held in high esteem socially.  Yet, failure still plagues humanity like a  disease, because we’ve all failed. In fact, it’s nearly impossible not to fail. However,  adverse to popular opinion the set  up is in the setback. You can turn failure upside down and it   will  spell s-u-c-c-e-s-s! How? By changing your attitude and not  believing that a failure is the final word on or chapter in your life. The world and society  would have you believe that a failure signifies the end of the road. However, that is far from the truth! If anything a setback can prepare you for an even bigger and better step in your life. Often, hardships not only toughen us up but strengthen us for the next round. Therefore, don’t dwell on the failure, instead push back on that setback and move forward!

onward and cheers,

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Blank Slate

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Having a blank slate is sometimes as daunting as it is exciting.”     -Joe Madureira.

So, what are you going to do next? I think  we all ask ourselves this, especially at the beginning of a new year. I was asked this after completing a large goal that I had  dreamed up many months prior to actually completing it. At the time I   could only figure   I’d keep striving and move forward to yet an even larger goal, a complete recovery. After the ball dropped in Times Square New York  and cheers erupted around me, I finally found my answer to that question. While I certainly  fulfilled a day dream by walking across the Brooklyn Bridge(see here!)  at the same time I  accomplished something even larger. I didn’t realize this until the clock struck twelve and 2016 was ushered in  with champagne that I had my  answer. Any goals that I have set and met were years in the making and a concerted effort.  Even more important than    my daydreams is all the wisdom and strength I have garnered by pushing through and past the many struggles I have faced. Each new idea was but a spark that eventually caused a forest fire in the landscape of my mind. I  also could not have  fulfilled these goals without the helping hands of friends, family, and  generous strangers. Each of their  hands  joined to create a bridge I could walk across to reach the other side. Oftentimes those goals involved independence and things people take for granted everyday. The ability of having freedom of physical movement,walking, social skills, and many simple activities of daily living. Each of your accomplishments   are the result of a concerted effort as well. Without the support of others many of us would still be at the starting line of the race. Entering  this new year it will be best spent continuing on the journey of moving forward, and if I’m lucky in this new year that bridge of hands will  still be there.

make a bridge for others!

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How

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“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.”

-Albert Schweitzer.

 

We have a problem with matching our thanks to the level of the gift given. Oftentimes we  feel that We cannot fully reciprocate or convey  gratitude properly, when were given something  big(see here!)or a priceless  act of kindness.  I’ve not only received  loads of physical help, but also  the gift of a nice meal out, gifts of someone’s time, and help from kind strangers.  Among these  have been the gifts that are priceless and bear no  feasible value. It’s when someone gives a part of their life in order to make yours better, that requires an  acknowledgement  that  it seems we cannot

match. Is a  thank you card sufficient? A hug, a gift card, a favor, a nice dinner perhaps? No, none of these will do, because the best thank you is to live fully and well. The reason  this is sufficient is because when someone pours themselves into you, pour all that you can of yourself back into  your life. People help in these priceless ways because they sincerely want to see you triumph in life. My friends, family, and some strangers didn’t give  of their time and money when I was in an ICU to witness me die, but to  see me survive and thrive.  Of course, when someone gives from their heart they don’t expect or even want something in return. However, the   best and only way  I can thank them is to live well. The life that they put into me deserves to be  given a return. This return on investment can be achieved if I  put my spirit into achieving my dreams and living the life they want to see me have. Because of what they’ve given me, I will not quit, give up, or waste any of thier priceless gifts. Therefore, thank those that have given to you by living well and enjoying each day you have, because as I learned  you never know when those days could end.

work on your dreams!

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earthbound alien

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“Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it.”

― Rick Warren.

You might as well stop trying to fit in now, because you were never supposed to. We  have spent so much time in our lives trying to “fit in,”  but no one was told that were not actually meant  to. The world was not to be riddled with strife, wars,  poverty ,sicknesses, and spiritual darkness were  not to have a place in it. Many times if not all, we’re our own worst enemy.  As  an example think of the disease of cancer, it has been studied and traced back to some foods(processed,GMO) and chemicals. Who created all that food and  made the chemicals(usually for profit)?   If you  guessed people(us) you are correct !   In having  self centered desires and the lust for money, people voluntarily choose to harm each other. The very act of trying  to fit in brings about   the bullying, but who’s doing it? Other people, or are we doing it to ourselves? In fact it’s better not to conform to the majority of this world, because more often then not average  is becoming the  status quo. Just as children are slowly bullied into becoming like everyone else, so are we by the world and its systems. However, there is an inherent problem in being like everyone else, not only is it boring, but it has a way of dimming  the light  we originally entered the world with. Each of us are born bright with optimism, drive, imagination, and  a lack of awareness of other people. As we grow, the ebb and flow of society slowly encourages us to join the crowd, heightens our awareness of others causing comparisons, and  works out the wild and free spirits we’re born with. If  were able to protect and retain these spirits from the world that wants to steal them we become conquerers. We overcome the petty preoccupations and can’t be bothered by what other people think. Therefore, don’t be afraid of  being  amused   and wondered like a child or hiding your quirks. Those are the very things that the  world  is jealous of and sets out to steal. Your childlike spirit is a precious gem to be protected and valued, so enjoy it and don’t be afraid to show it!

Cheers child!

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