“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” -Loretta Young.
Since, it’s pretty obvious that modern dating has pretty much killed any romance(see here)
As much as it’s about finding or meeting someone else, in an odd way it helped me find myself instead. For years I lamented a general despise for the idea of dating, all the while also being quite lonely. However, in retrospect when I finally decided to venture out and meet someone it also led me back to myself in ways I didn’t expect. Each blind date I went on(the few anyway) I didn’t dress to impress, but rather for myself and what I liked. If they liked it or not I couldn’t be bothered. In another instance I ran late because I had gotten pulled in by some pretty headpieces in a shop window. While this all sounds like I’m some kind of “bad dater,” I beg to differ, because in a subtle way my lack of being dependent on the approval of someone else was rearing it’s singular head. My dating adventures didn’t stop there of course. While I certainly didn’t find a Mr. Right or Prince Charming, the sheer act of putting myself out there was fun. I did meet some cool and interesting guys, but more importantly I narrowed down what I did or didn’t want. Modern dating may have killed romance, but in the process it’s made us more independent. Whether it’s simply because you can’t manage to find someone or have a realization that you don’t necessarily need to. Even in a marriage you need to be self sufficient and well contented(happy!) within yourself. Because single or attached it helps to be playing with a full deck of cards. Only you have the ability to bring yourself happiness, rather than a fellow human being. I remain single(or am) but I’m learning. I’m getting an education in self sufficiency. In navigating my way through a seemingly impossible situation, I’m gaining awareness of just how strong I am, but also how weak I can feel. The good news is that where I am weak, others have helped hold me up to prevent me from falling. In my frailty(emotional or otherwise) I’ve peeled back the layers to find strength and meaning. As much as some women look for a knight in shining armor, I’ve proven that you don’t need one. Your life should be enriched by a Prince(or Princess) but not saved by one. There are many times you will have to slay your own dragons, and I promise it’s not as difficult as you may think and you can do it.
la la la love,
