“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” -Loretta Young.

    Since, it’s pretty obvious that modern dating has pretty much killed any romance(see here)

As much as it’s about finding or meeting someone else, in an odd way it helped me find myself instead. For years I lamented a general despise for the  idea of dating, all the while also being quite lonely. However, in retrospect when I finally decided  to  venture out and meet someone it  also led me  back to myself in ways I didn’t expect.  Each blind date I went on(the few  anyway)  I  didn’t dress to impress, but rather for myself and what I liked. If they liked it or not I couldn’t be bothered. In another instance  I  ran late  because I had gotten  pulled in by some pretty headpieces in a shop window. While  this  all sounds like I’m some kind of  “bad dater,” I beg to differ, because   in  a subtle way  my lack   of being dependent on  the approval of  someone else was  rearing it’s singular head. My dating adventures didn’t stop there of course. While I certainly  didn’t find a Mr. Right or  Prince Charming, the sheer  act of putting myself out there was fun. I did meet some cool and interesting guys, but more importantly I  narrowed down  what I did or didn’t want.  Modern dating may have killed romance, but in the process it’s made us more independent. Whether it’s simply because you can’t manage to find someone or have a realization that you don’t necessarily  need to. Even in a marriage you need to be self sufficient  and well contented(happy!) within yourself. Because single or attached it helps to be playing with a full deck of cards. Only  you have the ability to  bring yourself happiness, rather than a fellow human being. I remain single(or am) but I’m learning. I’m getting  an education in self sufficiency. In navigating my way through a seemingly impossible situation, I’m gaining awareness of just how strong I am, but also  how weak I can feel. The good news is that where I am  weak, others have helped hold me up to prevent me from falling. In my  frailty(emotional or otherwise) I’ve  peeled back the layers to find strength and meaning. As much as some women look for a  knight in shining armor, I’ve proven that you don’t need one. Your life should be enriched by a Prince(or Princess) but not saved by one. There are many times you will have to slay your own dragons, and I promise  it’s not as difficult as you  may think and you can do it.

la la la love,



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