January 16, 2015

Not all Blogs are Created Equal

Everyone has a blog,reads a blog,or is currently the writer of one.A Google inquiry of how many blogs? Yields results in the millions like this one: On 16 February 2011, there were over 156 million public blogs in existence.

The internet has not only become a means of big business, but also a main facilitator of human communication and expression.Therein lies “the blog,” an omnipresent entity among the tech savvy movers and shakers.Not to mention the social butterflies, It is a great way to connect in an increasingly disconnected world. The one where everyone knew their neighbors seems to be a thing of our Grandparents day. Concerning all these personal gadgets and media I can recall one comedian’s observation ; “Thank you Apple for giving NewYorkers another way to ignore each other.” As a rule social interaction is not encouraged on the subway. It makes strangers uncomfortable. While I completely understand that,it seems this may be happening on an even larger scale.When faced with a lack of social interaction, it seems We have taken to writing creative letters in cyberspace to an invisible audience,if only in our minds. However I’ll admit I quite like having the ability to pass out well designed business cards that say “I’m a writer and I have a blog.” Therefore I must be interesting, right? I find, like many I’m sure that writing is cathartic.Whatever your reason, it’s a great way to spend your time! It’s certainly more productive then sleeping or being a couch potato that’s for sure.Personally I’m not doing it for money.Perhaps in the beginning I had grand delusions of using it as an additional source of income..That has since changed more into a means of personal satisfaction, and ultimately helping someone else.Furthermore have you heard of such glamorous workshops for more serious bloggers called Blogcademy!? I was unfortunate enough to miss the very first one, but caught one in Chicago(see here!) which was great and fun.Being a fan of creative things I find blogging to be enjoyable and like the ability to change things around like it’s silly putty.Not to mention I take satisfaction in knowing that my ex boyfriend’s blog is not as interesting nor as well designed(Ha!) that gives me some odd sort of revenge.Although, revenge aside it’s creating a whole community, and were seeing things like bloggers being invited to fashion shows,being tapped into promoting a brand,and even gaining large followings and internet fame much like some Youtubers.At any rate,I say let the bloggers blog!

Cheers and Happy blogging!,

January 15, 2015

Dating – A Class I Never Want to Take Again

I think this girl is onto something, and I can relate!

January 15, 2015

About a Boy

“Sometimes heartbreak is a lesson, the best thing to do is just learn the lesson.” – Jon Voight.

Since the eponymous holiday of St.Valentine is upon us, this led me to reflect upon past loves.One cannot avoid this holiday as it announces itself in a flurry of pink,red, hearts, and candy in every convenience store as soon as February draws near.I guess Love just cannot wait! Normally this holiday comes and goes with an eye roll and “anti- Valentines Day,”cards mailed to friends from me. Instead, in anticipation of it I thought about the subject of heartbreak(that and the great decor’ this time of year) I admit, I have a difficult time letting go.The biggest regret I have of this is the time wasted spent talking about, thinking about,or crying about someone who was simply not worth it. A good friend of mine once told me “Don’t waste your time on a man(in this case boy) who is not strong enough to jump the hurdles with you.” This is good advice for a couple of reasons, one, look for those on your playing level and two, time is precious. I’m no expert but I do know the best things I did when in this sad state were going out and pursuing what made me happy and healthy(yay for rad friends!) Unfortunately though for some it is true that no one can complete you.However, if you learn how to love yourself(start HERE!) you’ve already won.While you shouldn’t resign yourself to lone wolf status forever, you’ll be better off(and healthier) if you can carry your own.It’s a win-win situation to be and feel whole in yourself.We all deserve a person that recognizes how wonderful we are.Do the things that you enjoy,fulfill you, and that truly enrich your life it will only serve you for the best. As they say “The best revenge is living well.” Besides when you do meet the person who is worthy of your time it will be all the better if they find you to be a happy and whole person all on your own.When your on life’s path to the top of the mountain to conquer it(whatever yours may be) the best thing is to meet a fellow traveler who is also on their way up too and can keep you company on the way there.This year go on a date with your best friend,be it a boy or girl! 🙂

Safe Travels this holiday!

January 10, 2015

Struggle= Strength

“I didn’t know how strong I was until that was the only choice.”

I have always been fiercely independent and prided myself on that.However since having a near death experience I’ve also been severely dependent in some ways.For quite awhile(a year?) I have had someone around to help me even with simple things like getting dressed! I felt as though all my independence had been stolen from me.Seemingly trapped in a body that was not working for me,even the little things like getting dressed suddenly became difficult. It was strange to be asked questions by healthcare workers like “Are you able to feed yourself?” Because, of course that was always a given! My world had been turned upside down and in the prime of my life I found myself in a battle to regain it.Even small steps were big ones to me.All the things I had previously not noticed or taken for granted were in stark contrast to what I was dealing with now.I’m still in the battle but now I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.This morning instead of having an “assistant,” there to help I insteaddfid everything myself, even though at times it was a struggle as I realized I was doing it on my own again I increasingly became excited and proud of myself,not all too dissimilar from a kid finally tying their own shoes.That sense of accomplishment was worth the momentary struggles of getting dressed using one arm,even better I did it in under 20 minutes! The struggles of the past gave way to victory.These things are what make you stronger. Although we see our struggles as a pain in many ways they’re the stepping stones to an eventual (and equally glorious) victory.Through such a small feat to others I found(if only a sneak peek) some of my confidence and determination.As I wheeled(wheelchair) out of the room I looked at this picture(below) and said “See you tomorrow.”

May you too be bold and find your strength,

December 29, 2014

CHANGE YOURSELF TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN 2015

December 28, 2014

Behind the scenes

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”- Wizard of Oz.
I finally decided to come out(not the closet)after talking to my Mum I decided I needed to have more transparency in my writing.
The truth as We all know it is that life is not a happy Facebook status.Just like a Broadway show a lot goes on behind the curtain, and it’s not always pretty. In the very early stages of my recovery I was deeply depressed and of the belief I had lost everything in the prime of my life.I can recall a Nurse from the Hospital mentioning how I used to(in, inpatient rehab) randomly yell out of nowhere.I know why I was doing this, it was because I absolutely thought I had lost everything so it would build up into random screams and even late night full on crying panic attacks.The unfortunate truth is that depression is a part of many of our lives.When I found myself at the end of my rope, hope in a future and recovering is what saved me.I know there are loads of medications to help you deal when things get jagged.However, in not wanting to subsist on a high dose of synthetic drugs,I decided to turn inward rather then outside of myself.What I discovered was that I am far stronger and more resilient then I had ever known and I also became more spiritual.Because in a time of desperation I needed more than positive thinking,I needed a miracle.In a search for my own remedies to maintain my sanity I came across ways to help other people.If nothing else this tragic event has produced things in me that has seemingly created a wiser “old soul,” so my friend here is a list of things to help you if you find yourself depressed.
Consume more omega 3 fatty acids.
Engaged activity.
Physical activity.
Sunlight exposure.
Social support.
Sleep.

For a more comprehensive detailed list hop over here.
In this ever winding journey may you always find the light and beauty.

December 23, 2014

Invisible Children

Invisible children grow up to be invisible adults.
During the recovery process for my injury(i.e. killer massive stroke) I found myself labeled under the handicapped category.
While I don’t consider myself handicapped,I often glared at the parking tag hanging in my parents car window with hate.
Sure it gave us a pass to front row parking(often taken by the elderly or people not needing it!) and I got to cut lines, which would be great if I lived in an amusement park. However, while being part of the group under this label I learned a thing or two. It not only was cumbersome to get around that way(in a wheelchair),but also I began to feel inherently aware that people were either somewhat oblivious to me or stared.I began to feel like a beautiful Princess that was unrecognizable as a homeless mess that people just walked by while I sat on the sidewalk.I wanted the world to know who I really was.What I did find was a common thread between the people that still could recognize a Princess in the mess that I was currently in.They were usually kind,helpful,and sweet.I began calling these strangers that went out of their way to help me, door angels(for opening the door). I found myself having to dig deep to hold on to who I was despite the circumstances.If I was not so talented at daydreaming and the uncanny ability to ignore the obvious I don’t think I would have survived the very early days of my recovery.I imagined how other people must have felt in my similar situation.Those confined to a wheelchair or even worse paraplegic or quadriplegic.It would be easy to feel like a second class citizen,especially being a woman.In a society focused on sex appeal,you are certainly not seen as sexy in a wheelchair.This unfortunately began to effect how I felt about myself, so I could only imagine how others felt!
I thought back on the times I probably ignored someone who was either handicapped or elderly and it made me feel awful.Because unbeknownst to most people these individuals are very brave.It takes bravery to go outside when you clearly don’t fit in at all.It takes bravery to try things that you aren’t that physically good at,no matter how you look to other people.We all realize(I hope)how judgmental and focused on outward appearances our society is.Having said that I quickly found that going out in public in a wheelchair or wearing any adaptive equipment turned you into somewhat of a spectacle.I had to ignore or push through any feelings of alienation I had.The world was clearly built for people with no physical issues.On television I became acutely aware of the enormous lack of people with disabilities.I had just went from a majority to a minority and let me tell you,for lack of better words “It really sucks.” Now all I want to do is go back and out of my way to help people.Regardless of any social implications, this has made me recognize my own strength and brought more confidence to the surface.I’m still not sure if this has been a blessing in disguise or not.Between recently turning the big3-0 and this I feel stronger and more like myself then I ever have.One thing I have been pleasantly surprised by are the “door angels,” and the general acceptance or respect for those that do have issues in our society.In nearly losing who I was,I found out who I am and I learned to truly love the girl in the mirror.My hopes for you are that you too will find that kind of love for yourself without any near death experiences,but instead recognize the wonderful life that you have right now and don’t waste it!

Be thankful& walk in love,

December 18, 2014

When are you pretty?

“All little girls should be told they are pretty,even if they aren’t.”
-Marilyn Monroe.

We all know them,beautiful celebrities,and internet beauties.Men want them and some women want to be them.I used to look at photos of women I found to be beautiful,but I stopped.Why would I avoid this you may ask? Well, I realized that taking in another’s physical beauty made me forget and value less my own.It’s no secret that ladies fall into the comparison trap.How could you not when television,magazines,and some facets of social media are dominated by gossip and the admiration of beautiful women.Unfortunately that’s our culture,but I choose to avoid it.Because it only serves to bring you down and glaze over your own lovely attributes.Not too long ago I heard an interesting idea, that by reveling or envying another woman’s beauty you can forget your own and in a way disallow Her to express Hers.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.However, what if it’s in the mind? Do you feel prettiest in a physical sense(i.e dress,features,a body)or do you feel it the most internally? Some people feel prettiest when they get a certain look from a significant other,when their having a good hair day,when they help a stranger,or when they look good in clothes.I would be lying if I said physical appearance doesn’t matter to us.Indeed it’s as much in the mind as it is in a physical expression.I find the more I avoid the comparison trap,the more I see my particular brand of beauty.This is why We should all try to avoid these negative sources.It is wonderful how much better you’ll feel when you allow yourself to be built up,rather then torn down.We have all heard over and over the problems and complexities of raising a new generation of girls to be strong and value themselves.That’s wonderful but what about the grownup girls too!? Change occurs from the top down,so if we want a better future for females then said females need a good board to jump off of.This begins by everyone feeling pretty(awww)whether it’s on the inside or out for you it doesn’t matter.As long as you find it and I can promise you it’s there! I don’t like to make promises often,but this one is easy.I know that feminism can be a dirty word, but that shouldn’t make self confidence one!
Therefore go out there and fear no mirror! Instead look back at yourself as you imagine a person who adores you would.Find your favorite features,think about what makes you happy.If nothing else start avoiding the comparison trap and see yourself with fresh unbiased eyes.

Self love and cyber hugs!

December 18, 2014

Graffiti in the Temple

“Life is a blank canvas and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” -Danny
Kaye.
If the Bible says to keep your body clean as a temple then I suppose I’m in trouble.Usually I write about more serious or inspiring subjects.However as the holidays get thrust upon us and lurch ever closer,just like recess why not have some relaxing fun!?
Over the years,whenever I had to do a historical report or speech I would choose the subject of tattooing(sometimes vegetarianism) because I found that a once taboo art form reserved for Sailors and Prisoners was interesting.Also not to mention it can be pretty if done right.

Photo:Torrie Blake on Tumblr) Her leg piece!

I fully plan to get yet another(#8) to mark the experience of nearly dying and surviving to

begin a recovery with a flowing phoenix surrounded by peach and robins egg blue flowers.What’s more, thanks to the mention from a friend I plan on earning the money for it myself doing a small humble(but paid!) job.It may take awhile but it will only make it even more meaningful.Because,I wasn’t expected to live much less work a job! If our bodies are temples then you can call me a graffiti artist.

Photo: art by Banksy)

In closing,dear readers don’t be afraid to express yourself! Life is too short to worry about what other people think.

Be you Be beautiful,

December 14, 2014

Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?

“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.”-Albert Camus.

I’ve had this blog for two years now and what started out as a blog about my life in New York City has turned into a story about beating the odds.However, one thing is missing and that’s YOU! Dear readers since my blog is becoming more popular(or so I’d like to think) one thing I want to know is what you would like to see more of less of etcetera,and your feedback too of course! This will never be a closed comments blog.Honestly I have been in my fair share of constructive criticism sessions in my art classes,I can take it(ha-ha)people!

Therefore don’t be shy take advantage of the anonymity of the world wide web and let it fly(just be constructive.)

Gizmo!

**Cheers and mogwai ears**

bleu

P.S this is a Mogwai aka Gizmo————->

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