At your funeral

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.” -Garrison Keillor.

I’ll admit, I’ve gotten teary eyed at the thought of my own death and imagining my funeral. However, I didn’t consider how the other people would feel at my funeral. Perhaps this was a sign of my selfishness. As people We all fall prey to this selfish thinking. That is one of the biggest reasons why I don’t bother caring what other people think about me. Because frankly, no one is likely thinking that much about you except yourself! In opening up to other people more I’m more likely to feel emotion for them,which naturally leads to a deeper connection. After being seriously hospitalized I no longer had to imagine my funeral, because I narrowly missed it in reality. This time around in thinking about it I became teary eyed for other people. This is because not too long ago my Father gave me a mental picture of a moment in time that I was not present for. At the time I was in a coma which effectively blanked out a large portion of(20 days)consciousness. In sharing a personal memory He gave me an inroad to his reality during that time. While I was in a coma, He played thumb war with my limp right hand. This is significant because as a child We often played this silly game. All I could think of is how alone in a Hospital room He took my lifeless hand aside and tried to bring some life back into that same small hand, just as it was when I was completely okay. This brought into reality someone else at my funeral. The thought of another person’s heartbreak, brought tears to my eyes and not just for myself. It pained me to think of my sweet Father watching his only child dying,and so badly wanting that little girl of thumb war days back. Imagine if We were all as receptive to each others feelings? How then,would the world change? I wouldn’t doubt that such a thing would make World peace and the need for charities disappear. I have also found that the happier I am in myself and excited about life, I naturally begin to connect with my fellow human beings(or want to for that matter). This is because it has a way of expanding your heart’s boundaries.

Cross your borders!

June 19, 2015

Illusion

“What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.”-Harry Houdini.

How many of us chase an illusion? We try to emulate the pictures We see in beauty magazines,the lifestyles We see(or think We see)in media,and generally listen to what were subconsciously being told through popular culture. We are inundated with these fairy tale suggestions. The things you aren’t told upfront is that much of it is smoke and mirrors(or photoshop) so this means were essentially spectators at a giant magic show. Once it becomes clear that the picture isn’t authentic, you’ll find that what you already possess is just as good if not better, then what’s in the elusive fairy tale images being paraded on every available space.(i.e television,magazines,billboards,and in retail spaces) I’m not sure how it is in other countries, but in America the media is over saturated into daily living. This has caused some negative effects. Such as unnecessary fear,dieting,and misrepresentation. The fact is, that just like at a magic show,it’s helpful to realize it’s not all realistic. Many people realize this(I hope)but what about those that do not? It takes a certain amount of confidence and experience to not fall prey to these tactics. It’s important to be comfortable in your own skin and not care so much about what other people think. When you possess these things,you’ll find that you’ll be more successful in life. With confidence comes success,and there aren’t too many things better then marching to the beat of your own drum. True beauty is not contained inside the pages of a beauty magazine. However, there is beauty abound in your own brand of unique. A homogenized World full of models would be terribly boring,so do your best not to look like one. It’s in the perceived “imperfections,” that We can find perfection. When you truly see the unique beauty that you possess(i.e like yourself!) the media chatter begins to die down to a barely audible whisper. In other words you’ll be much happier and your corner of the universe will be much nicer!

It’s amazing what happiness will generate in your life. I have found that happiness attracts positive situations,good people,more confidence,and success! Once your able to tune out(the media junk) and get on your own wavelength, happiness becomes a renewable resource.

Cheers and tune out!

June 14, 2015

The walking books

“So often people act like they don’t want to be bothered, but I think they yearn for that.” -Iris Apfel

We all have a story, but how often is the cover of that book completely misleading?

The best connections and intimacies happen when We allow or are allowed to peel back the pages of another person’s book. So often it seems that were not allowed to do this. Paper books are read and written,but not our own. Why must We keep our personal stories so secret? It is this lack of sharing and misleading covers that keep us so very disconnected. While it may not be obvious, there is a strong undercurrent in humanity that screams out for connection. Why else are there so many blogs,gangs,addictions,attempted suicides,rich therapists,and internet forums? The very existence of such things is proof of the latter. As a society We succeed at many things, but it is in this realm that we miserably fail. During my recovery I found myself wanting to talk to everyone(even strangers)to the point of having to be reminded not to do it like some sort of child. I simply found myself actually wanting to know people. In having to take a closer look at my own story, I badly wanted to know others. Because at the moment my pages were(are)suspended in disbelief, and I desperately needed to find some common ground with my fellow humans. There are so many problems I see that could easily be fixed if there was some support. It’s as if since the culture of the Leave It to Beaver 1950’s,we have effectively learned how to remove our hands from supporting the crowd surfer overhead. In doing this they fall to the ground and hopefully haven’t broken anything. However, would any of us even stop to ask them if they’re alright? I’ve gotten some of the greatest pleasure in simply being allowed to get to know someone. It’s not often when a total stranger allows you to read their book. I have found that in places of injury(rehab) people are the most open and willing to have a connection. Devastation is the great equalizer. When the world is seemingly ending, there is no time to create prejudices, categories,or invisible rules. We are all simply people in need of love,safety,food,and shelter. The real tragedy lies in the fact that until someone tries to destroy that world(ours or actually)We blissfully operate in these divides. Never has it been more evident to me that “United We stand,but alone,We fall.”

Open up your book!

June 5, 2015

Cacoon

“Sometimes when you go through a dark period, you come out on the other side even more beautiful.”-unknown.

Everyone has gone through a dark time, in the beginning it’s always difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel(or if there is any at all). After being discharged from the Hospital, and being able to take into account the gravity of my situation, I saw nothing but a gaping black hole,and at times I still feel that way. However, with a very large dose of some real hope(God and physical progress) I was finally able to start seeing if only but a glimmer, the light reflecting off of something that I couldn’t entirely comprehend. Any notions of a linear life timeline that I had previously thought of was now effectively bent into all different directions. I had set myself afoot on a pathway that checked off most of the(in my mind)practical boxes. A great secure job,a nice place to live, a savings,and a closet full of clean( if fashionable)clothes.However, on this new winding path, I had a problem, because my previous path had disappeared on me! Now I was left blindly searching to get back on my path once again. It was as if I were Alice in Wonderland asking the Cheshire cat for directions and I was beginning to realize that rather then follow a path, I’d likely have to make my own. Each of us is making a path,but sometimes you get stuck in a particularly hard patch that’s rough to cut through. You can consume all the self help books you want,but nothing quite teaches or shapes you like experience. Besides cliche’ one liners can only comfort you so much, before you decide to throw the book out and write your own. The thing is, quite a few of those one liners are actually correct. Particularly the ones on hardship,storms,and transformation(as the quote above). Unfortunately though, some transformations can be painful. Just as a blacksmith beats iron into shape, sometimes were beat into shape as well. The good news is, that We usually come out on the other side better. Even though I cannot see it now, my better sense tells me that there is a dawn and it’s coming will bring with it the songs of the morning birds and my ransom from a dark cage. The question is, now that the path is gone,where will the new one I forge lead? Now his is the fun part(and terrifying)because you’ll find the answer is a resounding, “anywhere!” It’s okay to fall off the path once in awhile, so long as you don’t stray too far and just know that you possess the power to create a new one.

Fly high butterfly!

June 3, 2015

Social Media Savior

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”
― John Lennon.

While social media is a curse and a blessing, I’ve found it to be a blessing in my particular situation. Getting back on Facebook after I had disappeared for a year allowed me to update and get back in touch with the many friends I had missed. I received comments akin to “Oh thank God, when I saw you were back I was relieved!” As much as some despise social media it does serve a purpose. For me, it meant letting people know that I was okay after a huge accident. Without these interactions, I would have lost touch with quite a few people. This proved especially important since I was isolated in recovery and had seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth. This led me to contemplate what social media means to those people that find themselves isolated( as well,or home bound because of an illness. It could very well be their only means to a social life. For many(myself included) it’s a fishing line cast into an Ocean that is the world. The problem is, that it gives a false sense of connection without actually being “connected.” For this reason our cyber life needs to be balanced with real life interactions as well. Otherwise, it could actually achieve the opposite effect and make a person feel lonely. More recently I’ve hopped on the bandwagon that is Snapchat. Have you heard of this? Since I felt like the Glass Man in the film Amelie(watch the video below!)

click here—–>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y2bsfZzgPs

Snapchat became like the pleasant little video that let me in on the lives of friends and the rest of the ”outside world.” Despite the merits of social media We mustn’t forget the person that’s behind the computer screen or on the other end of the keyboard. It’s all too easy to have many “friends,” but in actuality be alone.Therefore, pick up a phone,write a letter,hop on(or in) your transportation of choice and make a real connection. You might just find you enjoy the world of three dimension!

Cheers and paper over e-mail,

June 2, 2015

4 Productivity Principals EVERYONE Needs To Know

As a “busy body,” this is so true!