“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
You can’t wait for other people to step up and be nicer than you. Why not just take it upon yourself to be a good person? As a long time buyer and seller on Ebay I’ve noticed some people won’t give you feedback until you give them a review. If everyone on Ebay did this no one would have any feedback! This apparent practice by some people exposes a selfishness among the community and people in general. If We all waited on another person to be more kind then We are, all of us would be at some sort of stand still. The majority of people are not all that nice, although they have the capacity to be. Not everyone will go out of their way for you. Therefore, why not let yourself be the one to make the first move, even if others choose to stand still. The mob mentality is a very real thing, if none of us broke from the crowd, nothing would progress or change. Throughout my recovery it has been the good samaritans or those willing to take notice of others needs around them, that have helped me the most.Simply put, things would cease to function if no one was willing to step out and
have a less self centered perspective. Or if We only helped others because they helped us. Likewise if We only gave to receive. You aren’t always going to get something in return and that’s okay. The satisfaction We feel from giving becomes marred, if We only do it expecting something in return. The spirit of giving is one of love and selflessness. If our motivation is to get something back for it, We simply turn it into a meaningless exchange, like buying goods from a store. The World needs more people that are willing to step out from the crowd, even if it makes them feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. Usually if something creates discomfort in you, then that’s a good sign that you’re on the right track. Because comfort zones rarely breed progress or large successes.
Cheers and get more uncomfortable!
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
If I have learned anything on this healing journey it’s that like a fence were all linked together. The influence of a few can be felt by many. Imagine a world where helping one another was commonplace. Perhaps that’s my 1950’s pipe dream. However, I’ve seen the difference it’s made in my life so I can only conclude that it would revolutionize the world. If We could just envision our connections more clearly, perhaps We would see how paying it forward only benefits us. Even the notion of holding the door open for someone else, it all adds up. I remember loving every act of kindness I witnessed in otherwise pretty selfish environments. From a young gentleman giving up his seat on the subway, to the girl helping a woman haul Her baby carriage down the treacherous stairs. Each of these acts may seem insignificant, but imagine if they ran rampant. The way a society treats the least of it’s members(i.e. the elderly,children,animals,the handicapped) reflects it as a whole. I’ve even witnessed a pair of homeless men helping out another with no legs on the New york subway at 3 a.m! Those who haven’t struggled themselves fail to see others who are currently in a struggle. Personally I’ve been rich, I’ve been poor,and I never saw as much as when I was poor. For what seems much longer, but for about two years I have been living as a handicapped individual. In this position it’s easy to be overlooked and feel frustratingly helpless. I’ve noticed much more the people that open the door, go out of their way to help, and even kind words. On the other hand it’s been even easier to see acts of selfishness. There are even forays into the science of being selfless.(see here! Those who possess more selfish qualities fare worse in terms of survival in the wild. What does that tell you? Could not the same be said about humans? After all no man is an Island. Just as lovers that symbolically padlock themselves together on a fence in Paris, throwing the key into the river, so are We connected. My guess is there’s no finding that key anytime soon so We should at least make the best of it until the fence rusts away or the padlock gets cut off!
Cheers and kitten ears,