Posts Tagged ‘perspective’

Perspective

I don’t always take my own advice, and today I was reminded of a  glaring truth that I sometimes choose to ignore. What was it?  “ It is within your power to change your circumstances.”   I  internally grimaced at the phrase. Because, change  means you( and I) have to stop making excuses. We have to grit our teeth and face our fears. We have to voluntarily put ourselves in  uncomfortable situations. It is essentially a process of self enforced growth.  We even have to accept the possibility of failure. However, one can never be defeated!  The only thing that can truly defeat us is death. Short of that, (or instead of)  you have a lot of work to do to reach your goals!  Whether it is seeing or creating a beautiful space when you live in the NYC Projects, envisioning fluid movement in a paralyzed limb, or  going after  a job you want, all three require perspective. You could see the projects as  a  one way ticket to failure in Life, that paralyzed limb as dead or lost to you, or- that dream job as just a far off illusion. Except ( and this is a big exception) you could instead view all these things as their opposites. The walls of those projects are not barriers, but places that can be beautified and a starting point. The left hand (or foot) that refuses to take orders from your brain or somehow has fallen into a deep slumber, is merely in an invisible cast until it’s fully healed.  The  interviewer of your dream job  just hasn’t met YOU yet, and therefore the position remains open. More than anything,   in order to change your circumstances for the better, it certainly helps if you see the unfavorable circumstances, of which you are  currently  in,  as a catapult, rather than a barrier.  You may not be where you want to be right now, but viewing your current position in a positive light, is the beginning of getting to your ultimate destination. I’m not living in my own apartment in New York City, like I was (or still should be) before  suffering a massive stroke. But, in the mean time until I get  back to that day dream, I am living in a wonderful home  that allows me the space and time for self growth, physical recovery, and  enjoyable activities.  Much of what goes on in our heads manifests in the outer world either positively or negatively. Since self fulfilling prophecy is indeed a thing,   begin to prophesize good things for yourself. Whether BIG or small,   You can achieve them all!

The Second Life is a Charm.

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“First, I have to thank God for giving me the gift that he did as well as a second chance for a better life.” –unknown.

I’m only 33, but I’ve lived two lifetimes. Currently I’m on my second. In the first one I was a fiercely independent twenty something living in New York City, keeping busy, and working in a promising professional career.  It was the beginning of my “adult,” existence. Living in a tiny room  that I rented in a nice apartment in the best city in the world. I had a 401k  under my belt, and nothing but big plans for the future in front of me. But of course, as they say  “ Life happens while your busy making other plans.”   And in my case, that saying proved to be true. Because I unexpectedly had a massive stroke and all those big plans suddenly fell through. In my second life I’m now a fiercely independent thirty something. Living in a pretty house in the woods, trying to figure things out, and life this time around has a lot less noise in it. However, despite my first go around I’m still making plans but they’re in a different vein. Rather then building on top of what I already have, I’m in the process of rebuilding.  I used to despair over the loss of my former plans, but slowly I have begun to realize that in the new plans I can do anything. It’s similar to the joy I felt in moving to a new neighborhood where nobody knew who I was. I could go to the grocery store under dressed and not run into a soul I knew. The freedom of that was rather nice. Except, this time around that new neighborhood is practically the whole world. After the stroke I was thrust into a new plane of existence. I had a past but it did not define me, in fact I could choose to omit the parts of my past I did not favor. After the stroke it was as if most people were meeting me for the first time. There were no expectations or preconceived notions. I could tell them what I wanted and in being able to choose the past I liked, that eventually also meant I could choose whatever future I wanted as well. The massive stroke cleared the game board of my life so I was now free to set it up again how I liked. This by no means has been easy. In fact it’s the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I am just now beginning to see the freedom in what I previously thought was a death sentence. My future is still bright, and this one single event does not  hold true for every area of my life. Because, although life is short there is still plenty you can do with it. Therefore, aim to live yours to the fullest.

Life is a gift, savor the unwrapping of it!
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Amnesia.

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”- Marcel Proust.

Memories can be a blessing  or a curse to us, or sometimes  even a torment.We all have memories of better times in the  past than our current  circumstances, that  can serve as cruel reminders. However, what if we had no recollection of our past at all, but only awareness of the present?  This would allow us to remove the usual blinders we have on and see our lives from a new perspective. Not only this, but we would experience  a new(even heightened) level of gratitude for what we do have, rather than always compare things to what we had before. Not to mention, the problem many have of constant comparison to others.This doesn’t mean we should forget our past,  because we can learn so much from it and use  it as a guide.For a good number of months my memories of life before the stroke would torment me.  I dared not linger in bed too long and let the negative thoughts traverse my mind. Because, I could remember what it was like not to have so many doctor appointments,be free of braces,run, walk normally, drive a car,live independently, and not have any type of rehabilitation. I surmised that those who had never experienced a “normal,” life  had it better because they had nothing in which to compare  their current circumstances to. Therefore, they were likely experiencing more gratitude and happiness  than I was. However, as life often does, perhaps this was my lesson to learn. Regardless of my circumstance I had to learn to look for the roses among the thorns. Each negative thought needed to be taken into captivity, inspected for helpfulness, and thrown out. Because, if a thought that floats into your head isn’t helpful,  it doesn’t deserve to be there. I cannot afford to entertain  or accumulate these negative thoughts, and neither can you. They only serve to create sprawling toxic black trees in our brains, rather than healthy green ones. This certainly does not bring us life but only death. We need to practice mindfulness, so don’t hesitate to police your thoughts! Very often what we’re thinking will determine what we’re experiencing.

be mindful!

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