A Moment

Life is a series of moments continuously strung together like the individual cells of a film reel. Often, these individual screen shots blend together, and pass without our notice. Since time moves on without us (whether we like it or not) how can we possibly stop it, or slow it down in order to fully absorb these precious individual moments? After realizing what an absolute GIFT everyday Life is (and has been) since I suffered a stroke, this time thing has been a struggle for Me. I wanted to stop it, and pick up where I left off, not to mention remain the same age I was when the stroke happened( 28). But alas, time moves on. Therefore, I instead had to take a different approach. I included a picture of the sign I try to look at everyday in my House. Whether I like the particular moment I’m in or not, I must accept that it is happening and in real time! I haven’t perfected slowing time down yet, but reminders like that sign, and using mindfulness techniques, help me to notice and make the most of my Day. More recently, rather than thinking only of myself I’ve begun to more closely observe other people. It has been through watching the sweet faces of my loved ones that has signaled to me, when a moment I need to slow down is happening. For example the look on the face of the closest person I have to a Brother(I’m an only child) while I was playing peek-a-boo with His Son told Me I was in the midst of a moment to remember. It was a look that clearly communicated His feeling, that He was touched I was alive to play with His precious Son. It’s something that when the stroke first occurred, my Family wasn’t sure would ever happen. Especially since, I was given slim survival odds. I’d rather the stroke never occurred, but it has had some upsides. Namely, forcing me to learn Life lessons much earlier in my time on Earth than I expected to! It’s taken a near complete loss of Life in order to wake Me up to its Beauty. I imagine, such is the case for many people. However, those people didn’t make it through to have the same realizations that I have. I’ve never met another survivor of a massive stroke like mine, because they’re all passed on. It’s a sobering thought, and one that reminds me not to waste the Day. Whatever your circumstances are, I highly recommend mindfulness, practicing gratitude, and savoring the moment. Because- one way or another all your precious moments will come to an end. So, don’t waste or be ignorant of them!

May 28, 2016

Impact

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“You can’t get rid of fear, it’s like Mother Nature.You can’t beat it or outrun it, but you can get through it, and find out what you’re made of.” – the good dinosaur(Pixar)

Whether your influence is of the dark or of the light, both really matter. Because like in bumper cars, sometimes life hits us and we get sent in all sorts of directions, but after the initial impact we can usually choose in which direction we’re going to go. We all deal with things differently, and over time like butterflies, we experience a metamorphosis. Where one person can turn a bad circumstance into good, others mistakenly follow or choose a darker path. The world expertly presents us with things that are “good,” but are actually cloaked in darkness. For example, all that yummy processed food that will eventually kill you, or the allure of tarot cards and the occult.This was pointed out to me in a dream recently. No matter what your trial is you have a choice in how to deal with it. Oftentimes our trials change us, like water running over rocks and changing their shapes and textures. Not only do trials and time change us, but they also show us what we’re made of. Some of us will be pleasantly surprised by our resilience, while others bitterly disappointed by our brokenness. The fact is, we all have the potential to be either built up or broken down. That’s why it’s so important to choose the paths that lead you into the light of happiness, faith, love, and hope. Rather than the darkness of negativity,hopelessness, and depression. Whatever your going through there are many positive resources available to you, you just have to do some foot work! Not only that, but pay attention to and remind yourself of all the things that give life beauty. Whether it be in nature or in human kindness(like the video below )

Florence and the Machine sing to and for a young girl with cancer in Her hospital room that couldn’t attend their concert.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzw7MOBS9lg&w=560&h=315%5D

if you slow down and look closer you will find it. I promise you it’s there.

cheers + love + hope!

bleu

August 30, 2015

keep walking

“Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything.” -unknown.

We all need encouragement to accomplish our dreams, pursue a goal, lose weight, or simply just to be assured that were doing okay. Throughout my recovery I have met many a cheshire cat(Alice in Wonderland) that helped to point the way and encourage me I was on the right path. In particular one of them happened to be a child. Since children are unencumbered by the burdens of adults and can see more clearly, I certainly took his words as wise. I found myself in the sanctuary of a church in Redding California(long story) it was Bethel Church to be exact. It was here amid music and a general strong sense of God in the room, that I was approached by two young children with an adult. They proceeded to kindly bring me out of my thoughts, and with the young boy holding a piece of paper in hand, began to explain that they were looking for me all morning. I was completely unaware that while I was carrying out my day, somewhere a child held some encouragement for me in his hands. Just a few weeks prior I had tried to walk on a treadmill and it went badly, because I found that I could not really do it. What ensued was a lot of discouragement, due to that perceived failure. However, when the little boy turned that piece of paper over, it was to change. I was told that in the morning during prayer, He received a picture and decided to draw it. They had been looking all morning to find the person whom it was for, and upon seeing me He found the pictures intended recipient. Now what could possibly be on this paper for me? a treadmill!

Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 1.16.10 PM

On the back of this picture He wrote simply the word “legs,” in quotations and went on to explain what the picture meant. The treadmill brought with it the message to keep going, not to give up, and that I would be healed soon. Just when one could begin to feel forgotten, here was some divine intervention. I don’t believe in coincidences, so for me this clearly wasn’t one. With my mouth slightly ajar it became evident to me that there is always someone looking out for you. Sometimes it feels as though your the only one struggling, or that your alone. However, as evidenced by this picture your not forgotten and there is always hope. A new development in my recovery, is that I have been able to walk on the treadmill(same one I failed at before. The picture is now framed in front of it. This story is for everyone as a simple reminder that you are not alone nor forgotten. Wherever there is dark shine a light.

Cheers!

August 21, 2015

The source

“Faith. It does not make things easy, it makes them possible.” -unknown.

From time to time people tell me I’m amazing or very strong,but it is the source of how I became this way that deserves a mention. If I was unaware of how loved I am, my confidence could falter, and I might actually buy into that little voice in my head that attempts to negate me. Many of us have that small voice that likes to tell us that we can’t accomplish anything, were not good enough,or that something will never happen that we desire. Unfortunately, for some people that small voice can seem much bigger than it is. I’ve learned that the negative voice is just a like a lion walking around roaring seeking whom He may devour(Peter 5:8). If you stand strong against it, and speak the opposite of what it tries to tell you, it will wither away with it’s tail between it’s legs. You can only be devoured if you do nothing and accept it. Therefore, stand strong on the knowledge that you’re worthy and loved. It’s much more difficult to push over a house that’s laid it’s foundation on a rock. So stand firm and move ever forward on your path to victory, whatever that may be for you. My strength comes from the knowledge of God. I have experienced a miracle, and seen too many small ones along the way, not to take notice that I have someone looking out for me(on Earth and in the sky!) In that I have found continual strength to face the day and persevere. If I was completely unbelieving or unaware, I don’t think I would be as far along as I am. In fact I would’ve been committed to a psych ward by now(this almost happened, almost) Before I had a massive stroke, my Sundays were reserved for sleeping in, or whatever else I wanted to do. However, armed with the knowledge of the light of the universe(God,love) I’ve stayed strong on my path of recovery. Even when the darkness seems to envelope you, there is always a small light that it cannot completely overcome. For example, imagine a windowless auditorium in which there is a single lightning bug(see here ) flying around. Every eye in attendance would drift to that little bug, and no matter how dark the darkness is, it can’t put out the light coming from it.

be that little bug!