Posts Tagged ‘independence’

Dating(what is it good for?


“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” -Loretta Young.

    Since, it’s pretty obvious that modern dating has pretty much killed any romance(see here)

As much as it’s about finding or meeting someone else, in an odd way it helped me find myself instead. For years I lamented a general despise for the  idea of dating, all the while also being quite lonely. However, in retrospect when I finally decided  to  venture out and meet someone it  also led me  back to myself in ways I didn’t expect.  Each blind date I went on(the few  anyway)  I  didn’t dress to impress, but rather for myself and what I liked. If they liked it or not I couldn’t be bothered. In another instance  I  ran late  because I had gotten  pulled in by some pretty headpieces in a shop window. While  this  all sounds like I’m some kind of  “bad dater,” I beg to differ, because   in  a subtle way  my lack   of being dependent on  the approval of  someone else was  rearing it’s singular head. My dating adventures didn’t stop there of course. While I certainly  didn’t find a Mr. Right or  Prince Charming, the sheer  act of putting myself out there was fun. I did meet some cool and interesting guys, but more importantly I  narrowed down  what I did or didn’t want.  Modern dating may have killed romance, but in the process it’s made us more independent. Whether it’s simply because you can’t manage to find someone or have a realization that you don’t necessarily  need to. Even in a marriage you need to be self sufficient  and well contented(happy!) within yourself. Because single or attached it helps to be playing with a full deck of cards. Only  you have the ability to  bring yourself happiness, rather than a fellow human being. I remain single(or am) but I’m learning. I’m getting  an education in self sufficiency. In navigating my way through a seemingly impossible situation, I’m gaining awareness of just how strong I am, but also  how weak I can feel. The good news is that where I am  weak, others have helped hold me up to prevent me from falling. In my  frailty(emotional or otherwise) I’ve  peeled back the layers to find strength and meaning. As much as some women look for a  knight in shining armor, I’ve proven that you don’t need one. Your life should be enriched by a Prince(or Princess) but not saved by one. There are many times you will have to slay your own dragons, and I promise  it’s not as difficult as you  may think and you can do it.

la la la love,


Posted in Life // Comments Off on Dating(what is it good for?

Throwing the book at The Notebook.


I think Ryan Gosling is  swoon worthy,you may think He is swoon  worthy,all the  teary eyed girlies at  The Notebook  think Ryan Gosling is swoon worthy……


We also agree that  He sadly plays a fictional character,while this  fictional  romance is something We would all love,a devoted,playful.sweet love by our side,the truth is that sadly real Noah’s are few and far between beyond the movie screen,in reality you will be letdown,you will be disappointed,you will be left…..

The good news?

This will not only enable you to learn about yourself more but also force you to pull up your boot straps,grow stronger  and  chalk it up to the saying

: If he won’t fight for you he isn’t right for you.

Because  in the end as pessimistic as that  is,sometimes you have to fight for yourself because if the person you love can’t see your value then perhaps you   should let your  value of them depreciate,while yours increases!?there are too many mirrors in the world for you to miss the view of your own lovely reflection,if you have been  wounded…… more good news! wounds heal,just like hair grows back after a bad haircut, just give it time.

When I have been the unlucky recipient of the title     “Dumpee I mope for a considerable amount of time,sure but I also try to shift focus and sometimes even do things  I don’t want to because it helps to  shift head space,it also doesn’t hurt to have some good friends to be with….

If all else fails:

Unknown                       To be clear  I don’t condone revenge on an ex! Besides “What goes around comes around,I tend to subscribe  to whatever Justin Timberlake sings about….

Eventually after the pain dulls and the sun shines in your life again(hopefully sooner than later!)

You’ll find it warming your heart too      and when that  light fills you up it has nowhere else to go but out of your eyes and maybe even in the direction of a cute new Ryan Gosling look-a- like!?


In conclusion you may whether you want to or not get pretty comfortable  with yourself and may even think of your ex: “Thanks for loosing me from that ball&chain,your loss!

As a pin read that  I bought once  from an old dirty biker(,and warranted many unwanted pickups from gas station attendants):

Single&Ready To Mingle. enjoy the good times those moments are for you,



Posted in Uncategorized // Comments Off on Throwing the book at The Notebook.