Posts Tagged ‘healing’

The perception of loss

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
– Winston Churchill.

Some events in our lives are so vile, we can only truly reflect on them(or share them) many years later.  So, what happened on October 12th of 2012? Well, I lost everything. For me, those many years later happen to be a decade. I suppose I can thank  cognitive dissonance for helping me to navigate through the impossible.  No matter how many times a  well meaning therapist or loved one attempted to  label me disabled,  waxed poetic about a “new normal,” or looked at me with complete disbelief when I declared my goals, none of it mentally deterred me.  Because, deep down I know I have lost nothing, only gained. I can clearly recall bellowing out in emotional pain  from the deepest darkest place of my soul, whilst laying on a therapy mat in a  hospital rehabilitation gym among other broken people, who were  crawling around like worms unable to  walk/sit up, or rolling around  on their backs like flipped over turtles. I didn’t want to be among these people, and I  certainly did not want to  BE one of these people! However, nonetheless I was. There was no denying the medical records, or the gravity of my unexpected circumstances. Not grasping that my brain wasn’t cooperating I would punch my paralyzed left arm  with anger and hate. The   reality is that for all the time I felt I’d lost, I actually gained  time. In fact, since that vile day in October, rather then it resulting in my death, my Life was spared.  Per my calculation, since then I’ve  navigated through 86,400 hours that I almost never had. I almost never saw my surprise Breakfast at Tiffany’s themed 30th birthday. I almost never met Lucy aka Goose the dog love of my Life.  I almost never felt the Summer sun  gently warming my skin, or  felt the beautiful Fall breeze  brush across my face. Instead, I now drive by the funeral home where my wake would’ve been held  and see other people’s names on the  sign.  Loss is only perceived, and in the face of any “loss,”  you can choose to push through to gain.  Therefore, do not weep over a failure only see it as an opportunity for growth. Because, as long as you are living there is a purpose and a hope.

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The Wall

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“Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it.”- Stephen Harper.

Whether the wall is a physical one(visible) or an emotional one(invisible) we all are facing a wall of some kind. These walls separate us from our goals, desires, forward movement, and even other people. It is interesting to note that the  non-physical can literally stop us in our tracks. Among the lies we tell ourselves  are fear and worry. These two things have an especially good knack for stopping us from what we really want. Because of these negative emotions and their mind games we  tend to lose the ability to move in  a forward direction. Beyond  this wall is a more positive self image that will spurn us upward and onward! To change  the circumstance, we need to change our self image. The  trifecta of anger, complaints, and ungratefulness is a sure road to failure. It is  with a positive self image and thankfulness that we’ll find the keys to success. However, this is more then just positive thinking, we literally must change our self image in order to succeed. This is not an easy feat, especially when you’re caught in the midst of circumstances you hate. The trick is, by finding things you are grateful for in  the middle of  life’s storms, they will hold less power over you and  their effects won’t be so devastating. This in turn will open up an in road beyond the wall that you face.  By recognizing your strength rather then weakness, the good over the bad, and taking a reflective moment each day to see these things, you’ll be well on your way beyond the wall that is stopping you. Be the victor rather then  the victim, and the healed rather then the sick!

see your way through it!

bleu

Heart Conditions.

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“You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.”

― Chuck Palahniuk.

We’ve got to look forward and keep moving, not  delving  into the past.  This is especially hard if you  have fears about what the future holds.  As a  stroke survivor I found that  even my worries had worries.  It was  that much harder to think of the future not only because of fear, but  also because my heart was stuck in the past.We  must not let our hearts be offended. Why? Because,  taking offense(at someone or something) keeps us in a place of pain and inhibits our growth. If we choose to live in a place of unforgiveness we’ll become  that much more cold,  and hardened, the good things of life cannot grow or flourish in  rocky soil! Therefore, we need to let go of the past and of those  things that hold us back.  For what seems like ages I’ve lived in my past. Because quite frankly, having my independence was far better than my current   bleak reality.  However, I am no longer the person that I was, in fact none of us are. To remain the same would be to stunt our growth and limit ourselves. No matter what happens to  you remember that “ You are not a victim but a victor!”   In trying times it’s easy to get stuck in the former “better,” situations of our past. However,  you must continue  swimming forward or even in some cases treading water. Because, if you stop to consider the past too deeply, the weight of it will not only tie you up but cause you to sink. By remaining in my past I missed the good things in my present. The good news is, it’s never too late to begin moving forward. Indeed the sooner the better, and making a habit of it isn’t a bad idea either. Therefore, do not stop to consider your past for too long or too often. Far greater things lie ahead!

Cheers!

bleu

 
 

Don't look back in anger.

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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

-unknown.

Why me!? Well, why not me? This is the question and answer many  give themselves, who have suffered a catastrophic event or injury. It’s undoubtedly understandable to be angry in such  bad circumstances. However, it’s not always helpful or healing. While anger can help you break out of something(depression)or help you overcome it,it  can also hold you back. Anger can anchor you in the past, or create unrest in your heart and mind. What you believe in is very powerful and  will dictate the direction in which your life  goes. Therefore, play  the right mental movies for yourself. Films that portray you as the victor, times of happiness, and  positive plot lines. These  mental movies can stir up  courage, hope, and strength  or place fear and doubt in your heart. When the movies that you play yourself are the opposite of fear and doubt, it opens the door for peace to enter your mind and heart. “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body”(Prov. 14:30nlt). If you find yourself in a hospital bed don’t take the situation lying down. Instead,  screen films in your mental movie theatre of  improving health, happy moments, and the day of your eventual discharge. Also, when dealing with a sickness be careful not to get anchored in the past for too long. Instead, keep your thoughts positive, the movies victorious, and your eyes forward.  Your dreams can and will become a reality  with a positive, and strong attitude. Not to mention, dreams don’t have to remain in the  thought realm, dreams and life are meant  to be experienced!

cheers and onward!

bleu