Posts Tagged ‘goals’

All or Nothing

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“I refuse to let others walk thru my mind with their dirty feet.”

-Gandhi.

I’m a walking contradiction, a conundrum even to myself. For I have everything and nothing at the same time. At the onset of my  ordeal(the stroke) I  missed out on a few social engagements, a tropical vacation, a raise, my apartment in Astoria Queens was no longer, and  I lost the job I had been working when the stroke occurred.  Oh, and I woke up back where I started before I moved to New York  City and physically worse for wear. To add insult to injury my boyfriend also broke up with me. This all accumulated into a waking nightmare. As if life isn’t hard enough, my blood and brain had conspired against me. I rarely(if ever) have written about how I felt after waking up in the hospital in my home state; but its safe to say complete and utter loss while in a black abyss. I  can recall  myself loudly and randomly letting out screams of emotional pain in the rehabilitation department. However, there’s a catch because, better a delay  than a disaster. Also, it didn’t hurt that I  am surrounded by an incredible group of family and friends; who helped me through my pain, and very often their own. At this point and especially in the hospital, most would concur  that I had lost it all and nothing remains. Even as I am writing this with one hand because my left arm is currently paralyzed, I know I haven’t lost it all. In fact just as the night is darkest before the dawn in nature, so is life sometimes. Indeed the days are getting lighter as time passes. How could they not!?  You see I have everything because, I’ve  been instilled with an indomitable spirit, the determination and perseverance to succeed, and  the wisdom to recognize tiny daily miracles. This all adds up to my main goal, numero uno… which is to get back on the tracks my train was derailed from.  Each one of us encounter disasters in life, but with the right  glasses on we can still see the light in the darkness. There is never complete darkness in nature or in our lives. Even when we imagine  it to be so, the reality is that it is not. I can honestly  tell you that it does get better. Except, there is one thing…. No matter  the mountain, you must never give up!

may God be with you!

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struggle

 

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“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”- Abraham Lincoln.

In the ever present stay calm and carry on posters they forget two words, and on. Therefore, they should read  Stay calm and carry on and on and on! Why? Because we are  creatures of great resolve when we’re pressed against the grind stone. Everyone struggles at some point, and no matter what it it is every struggle feels  daunting and like it is specifically yours. However, there are many people struggling with the same thing, it is your reaction to that struggle that makes it individual. Not to mention, our struggles have a funny way of making us strong where we once were weak. At times when your looking for answers in the midst of trouble you are met with silence. Yet we mustn’t forget that when you’re  going through something difficult, the teacher is quiet during the test. Even amidst the silence you  are not alone. It is within these hardships that our determination and perseverance really shine. I have been asked how I am able to continue and remain so optimistic in a situation many would find bleak. The fact is, I remain optimistic because I  believe there is more to this world then only what I can see. There is no solid explanation for  our existence, just as there is no solid explanation as to how I survived death.  One can only assume that there must be a teacher out there helping me(and you) along the way. It is because of this  we keep on going and do not faint or crumble at the first signs of trouble. Rather, we buckle down to withstand the storm and reach our goals that lie just on the other side of them.

reach for the other side,

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Life Boat

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“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?”

― Scott Turow, Ordinary Heroes.

Stories of triumph, stories of success, and stories of dreams coming true. These are the kinds of tales that keep us alive and keep us going. For me, these stories were a life boat in the middle of a dark and stormy ocean. The stories you and I tell ourselves make a tremendous impact on how we feel and in which direction we go. The difference between a good story and a bad one can  put into motion either success or failure When every avenue seemed bleak, I could always pull  positive stories from my memory library to serve as an escape. My current life circumstances(post stroke) were a sinking ship of titanic proportions. However, reaching back into my memory banks, I could pull a story from a happier time. Without these invisible books I was headed for the bottom gasping for air, another casualty of life’s  bad circumstances.  While these books seem imaginary, the life lines they offer are very real. These stories told me I could accomplish my dreams as I had before, that the impossible was possible(as possible is part of the word itself) and gave me a reason to get up in the morning rather then languish in bed. A good story will motivate you and give you confidence, while a bad one will take away all of your hope. Do you suppose that the  legends of our time told themselves stories of failure?  I’m certain it was just the opposite! I posit they reassured themselves that their mountains could be conquered. In this way we need to do the same thing. Whatever your goal, tell yourself that you can and then  pull examples of all your past successes. The longer you ruminate on past or current(perceived or real) failures, the longer you’ll remain in unwanted circumstances. By dwelling you effectively anchor yourself in shallow waters. Therefore, use positive stories to  put  the wind  in your sails and venture to deeper waters. It is there you’ll find more to explore and myriad possibilities. Furthermore, surround yourself with people that add to the positive stories rather than help anchor you in shallow waters.

row, row, row your boat,

bleu

Stop watch.

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“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.” -Steve Jobs

For most of us the  moments in our lives blur together like water color and form one large painting. It’s easy to forget that a lifetime is made up of a series of separate moments. It’s  within these moments that what makes life worth living can be found. It is also within  these moments that we can forget where we are. Not recognizing this, we take a lot  for granted. One of my bigger  frustrations was the realization that like many of you, I missed my moment. Before my life was inexplicably changed  I was letting everything blur together. If I had but for a moment stopped to consider my circumstances I would’ve been filled with enormous gratitude. Not unlike Scrooge on Christmas morning when He realizes He is alive and the value of that life. It’s a wonder that more of us aren’t skipping down the street showering gifts upon everyone we come across. Because, quite simply had I realized the magnitude of blessings that I was living in, I never  could justify being sad(or selfish)about anything. In fact quite the opposite, I’d be that annoying overly  giving and happy person all the time! How little do we know what a gift our lives are. Even now, though my circumstances are less  than desirable I am still blessed. When in times of self pity, I often consider those less fortunate than myself. While I was in my little corner of the world being angry my left arm was paralyzed, there was a young man(I met him) wishing He had an arm to feed himself with. Because by a freak accident He had  become quadriplegic.  Many years ago I scribbled the quote “The best thing to do with the best things in life, is to give them away,” on my bedroom wall. At the time I didn’t  know how true this was. Had I known how truly fortunate I was before the accident, I think I would’ve very well done this!  After all, you can’t take all those prized possessions with you. You can always make  more money but you can’t aways  make more time. Therefore, use your time well, and value experiences over material possessions. While I was bed ridden and trapped in a  hospital, my previous life circumstances seemed like a dream. In many ways they still do. Little did I know at the time, that I  was  living a dream!  And somewhere in the world, your life is like a dream to someone else too. Maybe at one point like me(but hopefully not) it will  seem like a dream even to you. All I wanted in the hospital was for my life to be the way it was. To  think  that I ever spent even a day of it depressed  or sad was a travesty. Because, in comparison to my current position  the girl I had been had everything and then some. She was physically able to do everything, had an incredible job, lived in an amazing place, and most importantly was independent. From where I was standing,or rather, laying She was all I wanted to be. I used to gripe about the traffic, now simply driving at all would be a huge  joy. I lived for the weekends when I was  off  from work, now I’d happily put in extra hours. Sometimes I wished I was somewhere  else, but now I’d do nothing but take in my present surroundings. The point is, I had it all and didn’t realize it. Even now, you have it all too, even though you may not  think so. I promise you do.

stop to consider!

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The finish line.

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  “If you don’t have wings, create them.”

― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom.

Today, a new  record was quietly accomplished  in a corner of the globe rarely heard of. Three once unrelated strangers gathered in friendship, and one  amazing  personal journey was thrusted ever forward to the “finish line.”   While the rest of the world hummed along minding its own business, I was excitedly(and happily) checking  one more daydream off my to do list.  Just like most personal goals it was of little importance to everyone else, except in this particular case I  was accompanied by others that understood  the importance of such a day. Many of us are skilled at rationalizing our way out of doing something. When in truth, we need to be rationalizing our way into more things! There is no reason you cannot accomplish what you dream of. As they say, where there’s a will there is a way.  By working through seemingly insurmountable circumstances with gritted teeth and a rock solid resolve, I have found that to be absolutely true. You see, what we aren’t told enough growing up is that we can do anything.  Be weary of those who tell you  any different. Ultimately, the people that believe in you as much as you believe in yourself, will walk right alongside you during the race. 

                                                                    above: My  two pillars of  support during the race  Early on(when I was injured) there were questions of my ability to walk well again if at all, and much less  trek a mile! However, with tremendous support and blessings I’ve done just that  twice now. Both times  were events that originally had been dreamed up in my mind.image

         above girl in tutu:Tropicolor, color run. the happiest 5k on the planet!

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Even  if I completed each goal slowly, the point was to complete it at all and soak up the fact that dreams do(and can) come true. Especially when you put your best foot forward and your mind to it. Therefore, be careful of what you tell yourself and who you listen to. Because, whatever words are spoken get eaten up by our heart. Certainly, your heart deserves only the best things that life has to offer, so don’t let it consume words that  will harm it!  Find wind  to carry you where there is none, and fly high even when others want you to stay low.

soar!

bleu

A life imagined.

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“I have found adventure in flying, in world travel, in business, and even close at hand… Adventure is a state of mind – and spirit.”- Jacqueline Cochran

We all want control and have visions  of what our future will hold. However, usually  while we’re making plans life  just happens. In these “derailments,” we find things we didn’t know were there. Such as strength, love, purpose, dreams, and new goals. Whatever your vision is, with perseverance, hope,faith  and determination that life is definitely possible! Sometimes we fly above these visions to revisit what we thought our life would be, before coming back down to earth  to what our lives actually are. When we’re looking down from above time  will reveal it’s perfect timing in  our life’s narrative. While some realities seem better than others, none are completely perfect. After all life really is what you make of it.  We feel as if we let go of the steering wheel that we’ll crash;but sometimes the opposite is true. Oddly enough, it is when we let go that we’ll find ourselves going in exactly the right direction. While life can certainly be a cruel mistress, She also has the capacity for grace. A grace that lends itself when you feel undeserving, a grace that finds you in your most trying times, and a grace that never ceases to surprise you. In these surprises you may come to find that the fork in the road was a detour you  needed to take, before reaching the final destination. I’d like to believe that my own detour of a massive stroke not only nearly killed me, but also gave me life. Because without it, I would not have discovered my true strength, seen the beauty of true love, and even more so learned what having faith can accomplish.

fly above and not below!

bleu

Margarita Monday!

 

“To find joy in work, is to discover the fountain of youth.” -unknown.

Disclaimer: Mondays are actually good  because, not only is it the beginning of a fresh week full of new possibilities but also about 120 hours in which to meet new goals!
As a former “weekend warrior,” I know Mondays get a bad rap  but I have grown to love them. Something I never thought possible until I changed my perspective. Rather then dread them I  now look forward to them. So, in that spirit I propose a toast. Here’s a list (and a cocktail of course) of seven things that should be on your radar, one for each  day of the week.
 

forget-the-cronut--we-tried-the-rainbow-bagel-that-people-are-going-nuts-about-on-social-media#1  Rainbow Bagels. 

Yup, these beautiful creations from The Bagel Store in Brooklyn, NY sold out in seconds upon their discovery. In fact, I’m still on a waiting list to  snail mail order these unicorns of the bagel borough. Even though technically every borough of NYC is like a   “bagel borough,” they’re as delicious as they are pretty. Forget the skittles I want to taste this rainbow! Check em’ out here.

url#2  Babycakes nyc boxed mixes
Stellar news for anyone with  a food allergy,  this adorable and tasty bakery now sells mixes on Amazon! Thank you food Gods above. Check them out and purchase them online now! In the meantime watch  this ridiculously cute video on Vimeo with music by  The Cults. The niece of  Babycakes owner Erin Mckenna makes up one half the band(of course) that, and I want their cute uniforms!
 
#3 Kissing bunnies!images-1  This one is somewhat irrelevant, but Valentines wasn’t too long ago and it is almost Easter. Besides, who doesn’t love fuzzy cute bunnies? If you don’t… “You unfeeling humanoid!”
 
 
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#4  Bluetooth Shower Speaker  I randomly found this online at Fab.com and it has revolutionized my mornings(wait- afternoon, I don’t wake up early) therefore, I highly recommend getting one, you can find them pretty cheap and let’s  face it, they’re cute and put the fun in functional!
 
 
 
 
 
#5 Makeup, for your face!    If you love makeup(guilty)
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and you’re not of the high maintenance variety, this product  is fantastic. It not only gives you pretty skin, is easy to apply(hello smear everywhere) and has SPF in it! You can find it at Ulta, but good luck because they’re usually nearly gone or picked over. Otherwise you can purchase it online, check it out here. Happy shopping!
 
 
 
 
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#6 David Bowie, duh! If you love the space man your in luck because, Fab.com(again!?) has a line of accessories emblazoned with the image of  it’s very own rock n’ roll alien.
 

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#7 Frame Soccer    Last but certainly not least.

Kids of every ability should be able to enjoy sports. Thankfully, this new one sweeping England and Europe does just that. Learn more about it here.

 
 
 
 
 Oh! and let’s not forget… the drinks!
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Cheers!
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Here

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“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” -Bil Keane.

You hear it often “be mindful, be present, and you should meditate.”  These aren’t just new age guru mumbo jumbo beliefs but they’re actually right!  I’d venture to guess that I’ve spent most of my life somewhere else, and definitely the past two years. In fact, the majority of us are not where we actually are at any given moment. Whether our minds are adrift or not, many times were wishing we were elsewhere. Either we are looking to the distant past or the near future. Our  “modern society,” is really talented at keeping most of us discontent with where we are, always wanting more. The funny thing is, when you stop wishing to be somewhere other than  where you are,  suddenly life becomes much more enjoyable!  When you let the  mind wander less and focus in more on your present surroundings, it allows you to savor  life and be in the moment. As an example, for many months I only wanted to be back in my beloved city of New York. However, once I chose to silence the noise, I realized that I was actually enjoying where I was. It’s easy to lose sight of where you are when advertisements and social media frequently remind you that you could be somewhere better. It’s as if we’re a rat  running through a labyrinth of distractions, all the while completely missing the point that lies in the center. When you take away all that noise suddenly the point is much easier to find. What I realized is, that New York City will still be there when I’m ready to return, but my Parents(with whom I live) won’t be. As much as I have griped and protested about my current situation, the fact is I have  had invaluable time spent with my family. One of whom supports and  loves me through it all. Therefore, I wish(not again!) that I’d realized this sooner. For if I had, the past few years would’ve been far less painful. When your mind wanders away from the present moment it really hurts you. Not only do you miss out on a part of your life, but also lose focus on your present goals. In a way it’s like self sabotage! By  looking  in a different direction you lose track of your chosen path, and lose ground(ie time. If your particularly goal orientated this is crucial to know! By being present and focused on your current situation, it allows you to see clearly the bull whose horns your going to grab.

focus & conquer!

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Resonate

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”~ E.E. Cummings.

This is no fashion blog, but I’ve noticed  a  trend. Among my most popular posts the subjects  involving reassurance, love, and  hope  by far get the most response. Why is that? Because were human.  You may have grown into an “adult,” with all its benefits and   mundane responsibility, but you’re still a child.  Considering this truth, it’s pretty clear that  our needs may have  changed, but they’re not drastically different. We still need the basics, but the most important one  often gets forgotten, reassurance! Just because we’ve been potty trained(I hope) doesn’t mean that suddenly we have no need to be reassured or coddled any longer. Actually  it’s quite the opposite, as adults we might need it even more. Because our challenges are still just as difficult only the scale has changed.  People wrongly assume that you can deal with things on your own, but everyone could use some  reassurance from someone other than themselves. It’s because we  have a need to feel part of a community, and to know we’re doing good in this thing called life. I love when people tell me the progress they have noticed or reassured me that something is going to work out or be okay. This is especially important because I don’t notice the changes in myself, none of us really do. Therefore, when a change is positive I want to know about it! While your particular situation may not be as difficult as mine it  can still  be a hardship nonetheless. Just as a child receives praise for their artistic fridge drawing, We need praise just as much if not more for our accomplishments too.  As you(should) know “little,people” and big grow  the best in a nurturing environment. So, why  does the nurturing stop when we become “adults?” There  is no end to your ability to grow throughout life, and scientifically  speaking energy can neither be created or destroyed. You know what can be created or destroyed?  The short answer is growth. People can be given a place and a way to grow or find themselves stunted. My height will  likely never exceed 5’ 8” but the  size of my spirit can  become larger than life. There  is no end to the possibilities in life, so why stop  growing and helping others to grow?

add fertilizer!

bleu

# Goals

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“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

-Zig Ziglar.

This one is for you single Moms that went back to school and got your degree, to the Dad that finally lost  his gut, the young girl who nailed that cart wheel, and the grandma that braved a community college class in  a subject  She was really interested in. These people have their goals on lock down, and understand that as long as your alive on this earth you can achieve   goals and create new ones. When  I first  discovered  The Sketchbook Project, I immediately jumped on it. However, due to a fast paced lifestyle  I never managed to complete it. The project  is a globally concerted effort, with art sent in from all over the world. You can learn more about it —> here. While my blank sketchbooks in 2011 and 2012( I attempted it twice) languished   untouched in my apartment  while I attended to other matters… Sooner than later(time flies) the year 2016 rolled around and I found myself   in the process of a recovery from a near death experience. I also  was unemployed with considerable stretches of time to fill and in need of some positive distraction. Yet again I found myself participating in  the sketchbook project, but this time I was going to finish it. The third time  really is a charm apparently. You can’t always wait for the “right time,” to accomplish something, often the right time is right now.  Many times    you’ll find that somehow things happen at the right time when your patient, positive, and active in working towards your goal. We can’t control or make everything happen when we want,  but we can certainly  put the wheels in motion. What that  single Mom, little girl, and Dad all understand is that with perseverance and determination you can reach your goals.  It doesn’t matter when you start, it’s that you begin and there’s no time like the present. Don’t be afraid of failure because failure is a good teacher, and  most certainly don’t predict that you’ll fail before you even  start!

Just begin,

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