Posts Tagged ‘dating’

Dating(what is it good for?


“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” -Loretta Young.

    Since, it’s pretty obvious that modern dating has pretty much killed any romance(see here)

As much as it’s about finding or meeting someone else, in an odd way it helped me find myself instead. For years I lamented a general despise for the  idea of dating, all the while also being quite lonely. However, in retrospect when I finally decided  to  venture out and meet someone it  also led me  back to myself in ways I didn’t expect.  Each blind date I went on(the few  anyway)  I  didn’t dress to impress, but rather for myself and what I liked. If they liked it or not I couldn’t be bothered. In another instance  I  ran late  because I had gotten  pulled in by some pretty headpieces in a shop window. While  this  all sounds like I’m some kind of  “bad dater,” I beg to differ, because   in  a subtle way  my lack   of being dependent on  the approval of  someone else was  rearing it’s singular head. My dating adventures didn’t stop there of course. While I certainly  didn’t find a Mr. Right or  Prince Charming, the sheer  act of putting myself out there was fun. I did meet some cool and interesting guys, but more importantly I  narrowed down  what I did or didn’t want.  Modern dating may have killed romance, but in the process it’s made us more independent. Whether it’s simply because you can’t manage to find someone or have a realization that you don’t necessarily  need to. Even in a marriage you need to be self sufficient  and well contented(happy!) within yourself. Because single or attached it helps to be playing with a full deck of cards. Only  you have the ability to  bring yourself happiness, rather than a fellow human being. I remain single(or am) but I’m learning. I’m getting  an education in self sufficiency. In navigating my way through a seemingly impossible situation, I’m gaining awareness of just how strong I am, but also  how weak I can feel. The good news is that where I am  weak, others have helped hold me up to prevent me from falling. In my  frailty(emotional or otherwise) I’ve  peeled back the layers to find strength and meaning. As much as some women look for a  knight in shining armor, I’ve proven that you don’t need one. Your life should be enriched by a Prince(or Princess) but not saved by one. There are many times you will have to slay your own dragons, and I promise  it’s not as difficult as you  may think and you can do it.

la la la love,


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About a Boy

holding hands“Sometimes heartbreak is a lesson, the best thing to do is just learn the lesson.” – Jon Voight.

Since the eponymous holiday  of St.Valentine is upon  us, this led me to reflect upon past loves.One cannot avoid  this holiday as it announces itself  in  a  flurry  of  pink,red, hearts, and candy in every convenience store as soon as February  draws near.I guess Love just cannot wait!  Normally this holiday comes and goes with an eye roll   and “anti- Valentines Day,”cards  mailed  to friends  from me. Instead, in anticipation  of it I thought about  the  subject  of heartbreak(that and the great decor’ this time of year) I admit, I have a difficult time letting go.The  biggest regret  I have  of this is the time wasted spent talking about, thinking about,or crying about someone who was simply not worth it. A good friend of mine  once told me “Don’t waste your time on a man(in this case boy) who is not strong enough to jump the hurdles with you.” This is good advice for a couple of reasons, one, look for those on your playing level and two,  time is precious. I’m no expert but I do know the best things I did when in this sad state were going out and pursuing what made  me happy and healthy(yay for rad friends!) Unfortunately  though for some it is true that no one can complete you.However, if you learn how to love yourself(start HERE!) you’ve already won.While you shouldn’t resign yourself to lone wolf status forever, you’ll be better off(and healthier) if you can carry your own.It’s a win-win situation to be and feel whole in yourself.We all deserve a person that recognizes how wonderful we are.Do  the things that  you enjoy,fulfill  you, and that truly enrich your life it  will only  serve you for the best. As they say “The best revenge is living well.” Besides when you do  meet the person who is worthy of your time it will be all the better if they find you to be a happy and whole  person all on your  own.When your on  life’s  path to the top of the mountain to conquer it(whatever yours may be) the best thing is to meet a fellow traveler who is also  on their way up too and can  keep you company on the way there.This year go on a date with your best friend,be it a boy or girl! 🙂

Safe Travels this holiday!


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