Archive of ‘Dreams’ category

Keep your coins, I want change.

I can’t take credit for this title, its ripped off of a Banksy piece. I’m not one to risk future copyright infringement, although… in the case of Banksy it wouldn’t matter, that is part of his art or manifesto or artist statement/idea….so ya. Anyway the whole point of this article is exactly what the title says: Change.

I just started to read a book my best friend bought me years ago called Stumbling on Happiness, basically the psychology of humans in relation to happiness. What you think will make you happy and what actually does. I’m excited to read it because I know it will be good (Ashley you are a girl of great taste), I always enjoy a new spin/perspective and well… I want to do something scary. Real scary. At least for me. You know that ever important thing that most people need in some facet?… (no not $$money$$ but it can relate to it..) …. SECURITY.

A secure job. A secure place to live. A retirement?? etcetera etcetera… well I value it a lot, I hate feeling on edge not knowing where or how I’m going to make it next month, or next week, or even tomorrow. -BUT- you know what? Its also motivating, I hussled the most when I had no security because I wanted to get it. In a way, the lack of security was a challenge, it made me more productive. Now that I have it, I feel I’ve moved back into a bedroom in the procrastination palace. I loathe the very thing that provides all this “security”… i..e. A “normal” job. Most days its okay but ugh… I just wanna go back to school for something fun, or travel all over the world, or you know.. be my own boss. The idea is grand, actually doing it—- SCARY, because there is little security in it (at least until your successful….IF you are) and your taking a risk. Now I am not entirely risk averse, in fact, I have taken many risks (some smart, some not so smart) in life but one I have not taken much of is that of the working kind. I chose the safe reliable degree.

Although for the same reasons girls always pick the bad guys (according to popular belief and my own observation of the female species) … well.. safe and reliable=boring. Now unlike the lesson in which you learn after dating one too many assholes, (at least hopefully you are one of the fortunate who realize it and pick a good guy finally) safe and reliable=fantastic ! ladies. Well they can still be edgy just reliable in the fact that they reliably do not treat you like shit !… wait this isn’t a dating post, argh! ) Anyway…with work safe and reliable is for me at least…..boring. I do something different everyday but its just not entirely my passion. Mostly it not being my passion is the problem… *sighhhhh*

What is?? Good question, I like making shit. I like helping people. I love travel. What should I do with the rest of my life??!!! This is exactly why I just went with the safe degree b/c I changed my mind so often I would have been broke and in school forever had I not… but… it gnaws at me still. Little by little, like a caterpillar taking tiny bites out of a big leaf… I cannot be practical forever, there is much of me that is completely impractical ! hahaha… I want to follow my passion, I want to be my own boss.

Sooooo… what is the plan? The solution?? Well first off, get out of debt. Secondly, think about school… Thirdly, I want my own place dammit. Living alone might be lonely or boring but I feel it would be alright, after all, having a pet exists for a reason. (Adopt !!) Also… I’m going to start up my Etsy again and get business cards once I get the finances in order. Think about it: Less shoes and meaningless material belongings.. more life experiences and freedom !! (Credit cards are slavery disguised as fancy sugar daddies, or mamas (if your a boy) )

SO I invite you along with me to journey towards no debt and dream achieving instead of just dreaming. Life is so short and fast. You need love and to give love as much as possible and to dwell in what you find beautiful and fulfilling. I always attempt to do that but modern day society is great at side tracking you from it with a lot of needless junk (material and otherwise) ….I just want some more freedom.

I know half the fun is in the journey not the destination but, geezus, I want it NOW!!! I hate waiting sometimes.. its torture when you want something badly. Looks like I have a lot of work to do, now… where is that EASY button????

For now… I will use my practical job to fund the daydreaming impractical pursuit.. so Cheers! to all you space cadets, I’ll meet you on Mars.

If any of you have stories, advice and or opinion please share !

P.s. I’m sorry if this makes you annoyed or lose your cookies..but.. I am actually bursting with happiness about a lot of things, life is good overall, who am I to complain?? Well, anyway, I think finally after years of kissing disgusting frogs I finally found a prince. Please watch the clip below.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V8tMK68M7U]

Ya, so there’s that. (=

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Welcome to the other side….

Happy New Year everyone !! In contemplating the past, the future, the potential, the successes and failures… whilst flipping over to the next calender year a thought occurred to me… Is the grass really greener on the other side?? Many people think this and base a majority of their decisions on it…it’s a human thing to want, to wonder, to wander…but be careful what you wish for, right??

As a restless soul I always had the problem of discontent, my mind wandered (as it still does because I am a dreamer) but to what I could or should be doing.. the B that should be an A, the country I want to inhabit, the numerous amazing projects I wanted to begin or complete, etc etc.. goals are great however there is a point where it becomes hard to be content; truly content and many times we inflict this discontent upon ourselves. I found a great list, 38 “Zen Habits” some of them are good advice and insightful and at the very least entertaining.

After all…. if your not fully in the present you’ll miss most of your life. I think back to the people I wish I would have spent more time with but was distracted by being too “busy” with work, school, a social function. This New Years I spent with my Mom and turned down the numerous other places I could have been, and you know what?? The social functions will always be there, my Mom will not.. its one of the best New Years I have had for that reason… quality not quantity… I believe too many of us have the tendency to possess this restless spirit, but there is a degree I believe to where it becomes detrimental.. its all about priorities..

How many times have you and certainly I, left something only to realize how good what you had was.. life goes on.. you live and learn but growing up and figuring out what is important to you makes all the difference… making better decisions, learning how to be content with yourself and where you are. For me this has meant spending as much time as I can with the people who over the years have shown me boundless love, acceptance and support. I’m not always as good at making time as I’d like to be.. balance is another thing I am forever trying to master….

I remember reading about the Dalai Lama and he had said that true happiness comes thru altruism.. I believe that is right too.. I want to live for something bigger and better then just myself. Living in NYC has been a crazy, wonderful, sometimes terrible (aka exhausting) journey but its made me tougher and its further shaped what I have come to value….. For me my job is not important, money is not everything, spending time in hollow relationships with people who don’t actually care about you is a waste, and furthermore being able to recognize the friends and foes is an ongoing journey as sometimeessss…. wolves dress like sheep.

Heck, this idea even carries over into romantic relations…When I first moved to the city I remember meeting in my first week, at my first job (bartending) a beautiful, nice, seemed non-crazy( really! but who knows….), successful girl and as we got to talking she complained of her difficulties in finding a solid/stable dude….”They all just want to play and move on to the next girl because here there are so many girls” (lots of pretty smart ones too)…. I thought I was doomed for sure if this girl couldn’t find a real relationship…(It was long before this I began my imaginary cat collection in my mind.. ha ha. sigh. Actually fuck that, motorcycle collection, and lest not forget vintage Vespas and Lambrettas and loud Rock N’ Roll. yaaaaa !) and I will say 90% of the women I meet here (young to middle aged to old) all have the same problem…(Note: for some reason I attract these kinds of confessions/discussions from many times total strangers, ?? I’m too approachable I think, NEVER make eye contact ha ha (kidding..sort of…)…

I really feel it is unfortunate that it seems to be how this city predominately is… new generation? a NYC thing? bad dating skills? bad decisions? Holy smokes Batman.. I am not sure… however I believe its a typical case of the grass is greener.. with so many people in the grass is greener mindset I believe they miss out on what is right in front of them; don’t miss out. Take good care of the grass your on and you’ll soon have a garden and soft cushy grass to cloud watch in. (=

Also ladies, about all those dudes.. Someday you’ll all find someone to look into your eyes and say “Helloooo your my very special one.” Here is a song for you about just that and perhaps maybe about prolonging this new year just a little longer (especially if 2011 treated you well)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_Vs37KtNpE&feature=related]

 P.S. …………………………..

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Behind your eyelids.

Image

I can’t be the only dreamer.. I know I’m not, but perhaps just maybe I am too much of a daydreamer… I am a pro at “zoning out” so much so my Mother thought I was deaf as a child.. what can I say? Somewhere along the way for whatever reason (I have my theories) I tuned out of the mundane and at times dark world and tuned into my own channel. I got really good at ignoring things. Perhaps I developed a decreased attention span? Is it because I’m a.d.d. ? A bad listener? Is it a coping mechanism learned as a child? A dreamer through and through… I think its all of the above. No matter. The point is, (is there one?) I got to thinking about this because as with all challenges focus is one of mine and please oh please if you know me don’t get offended at my lack of attention or bad memory when it comes to birthdays and names and..( ahahah I’m not that bad.! !) Its just that sometimes everyone escapes in one way or another, I just got really good, (so good it happens unconsciously more often then not), at escaping to “Planet X” (as  I always called it). Luckily those who love me put up with it *wink* but like anything I am working to improve it… Life is funny isn’t it? I don’t make plans I just go with it and I find that the best… along the way I learn learn learn..what have you learned lately?

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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5DUQjOzPwo&feature=related]

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The North Star

I used to want to be Peter Pan, and if not Peter Pan certainly one of the Lost Boys running wild in the woods with a mess of hair and a wooden sword shoved into a makeshift belt, whooping indian calls with feathers in my hair and dirt under my nails, not to mention being able to fly. Who am I kidding? I still want all that, just fly towards the second star to the right and straight on til’ morning.Who wouldn’t want to live here!?

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Dreamy Tuesday.


So its still the beginning of the week… ah well, never too early to daydream. After all, dreams do come true!

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