“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius.
What value does being pretty really have? Is it financially gainful? In some cases, yes. Is it morally upright? Does it validate your existence? It would appear that in many societies it does. Especially if you’re of the female persuasion. There was a time, when I felt validated only by my pretty face. Coming to the conclusion that if nothing else, at least I was pretty. However, I’d much rather have a functioning left arm than big pretty eyes! Another important question, “What really matters?” I found myself resigned to a wheelchair, a cane,bulky(heavy)braces, and at one point the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my life. Where there was once freedom of movement, cute little shoes, and fashionable clothes I found myself stuck with the opposite at the time. Being in these unwanted and unfavorable circumstances made me question my self worth and even sexuality as a Woman. I no longer felt attractive. In turn this effected how I felt and perceived the world around me. It brought with it the question of, for many other Women who are(or have become) disabled, how do they feel? Because, until certain aspects of your “normal,” life experience change, there are so many nuances you don’t realize or perceive. Sure, it’s quite nice to be told how pretty you are. But really, in the big scheme of things, what does it matter? I remember one comment I received in particular(though funny at the time) was quite telling of our general attitude towards physical appearance. “Well, at least it didn’t mess up your face!” In regards to the stroke, although I’ll readily admit I’m thankful it didn’t. However, what if it did!? Would I find myself relegated to the forgotten in the world’s population? What a sad truth this is for our society. We place value on things where there isn’t a whole lot and no value on things where there is much. In fact for some time I had to be stopped from giving away all my belongings, because after what I went through, the value of them dropped! At one point in time where I would spend frivilously, I now carefully(and delibrately) saved. We all know beauty is only skin deep, but how often do we act on that truth? If we actually did, the cosmetics industry would plummet, bank account balances would rise, and eating disorders would be arcane. Therefore, take care of your physical health and appreciate the body you have. Especially since it’s on loan and you can’t take it with you!
“The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.” -unknown.
I’m not courageous it’s just that sometimes that’s your only choice. There are two types of people when the situation becomes dire, there are those that will let the wave of bad circumstance overcome them, and those that will choose to overcome the circumstance. Rather then hide from the world it is better to go out and meet it. Everyday you engage with and enjoy life is a battle won. You have to fight many small battles before you can win the whole thing. In facing your fears and choosing to be seen rather then invisible you’ll find healing. Those who have made their namesake last throughout history did so by jumping into the unknown, facing their fears, and choosing to stand up when others sat down. The best stories are when the underdog or the “little guy,” come out on top. However, we often forget that many of those stories are true. We love those stories, because at one point or another we’ve all been that character. When faced with a giant monster of a problem, in our fear we forget that monsters can be killed. Rather then letting the wave of doom and gloom pull you under, why not choose to ride it onto better things instead? You should dictate the situation(or illness) and not let the situation dictate you. Even when outwardly everything seems against you, you can choose to see your way out of it. The human spirit is indomitable. Just as a talented musician plays their instrument, it does not play them. When I’ve met those with a warrior soul, they’re people that saw a bad circumstance as a challenge, and sought to beat it.
it’s only a challenge!
“The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a manner consistent with our self-image.”
I couldn’t write this unless I practiced what I preached. As a recovering shopaholic and a recovering stroke victim I’ve learned by the most difficult way possible, the value of things. Whereas before(the stroke) I was shortsighted and indulged in instant gratification, I do no longer. Because, in the broad view of life material objects only offer short term happiness and pale in comparison to the achievement of your dreams and goals. These days I find more fulfillment in taking steps towards my goals rather than a shopping spree. Not to mention, seeing that money in the bank rather than collecting in the number of objects around you, is far better. A bad habit or overindulgence is indicative of a missing piece inside you. While I am not complete, I’ve realized that too much shopping is a form of self defeat. Perhaps it’s a self image thing, boredom, or just a ” girl thing,” but I certainly don’t want it to be my thing! It’s helpful to push that pile of stuff out of the way from blocking your goals. Not only that but our society of mass consumption has blinded us from the fact that all those material objects are mostly unnecessary. I shudder when I think of shopping malls filled to the brim with stuff. Where does it all go? Either into landfills(the Earth is getting sick of our trash), your basement, a spare room, or when you move you’ll get the pleasure of lugging exorbitant amounts of personal belongings into a truck. Did I mention that you have to pay for it all? Never mind all the things you could’ve done with those funds instead. The memories We create together are priceless, your designer handbag is not. As a matter of fact, if you ever try to resell it you won’t receive your money back, and more than likely it was manufactured in Indonesia. Perhaps I’m being too harsh. However, wasting your precious time and money is worse! The more this revelation becomes clear, I move closer to becoming a minimalist. I’m more interested in life experiences,good memories, and achieving my goals than shopping. While I’ll admit I still enjoy it, but I enjoy saving money even more now. Like Mr. T(see here) I pity the fool who pays full price for anything. Just like empty calories don’t fill you, and can cause obesity, so does shopping too much. When you begin to feed on material that nourishes your soul, you’ll feel more satisfied and the only thing that will become obese is your bank account!
and with that I challenge you not to shop for 30 days,
This is a blog post for all the “Beyonce Babes,”out there.
I was thinking recently about a few of my very good girlfriends and I came to the conclusion that they’re “Beyonce’ Babes.”
That is their designation because they possess the qualities of strong independent women.
As a person of the fairer gender that is what I look up to and aim for.
These are ladies I’m proud to call my friends.
They are women that take care of themselves, rarely rely on a guy, possess creativity, intelligence, and adventure.
These are the type of ladies I want to have a party with in life for a long time to come.
Thank you for going against the age old stereotypes that society has come up with over the years. Whether your a male or female, don’t fret over what others think.
Perhaps that is something that comes with age, but you can get there faster by taking notice of the lessons or mistakes that others have learned.
It’s no wonder the elderly rock stretchy pants and loafers like there is no tomorrow, they simply don’t care!
In conclusion Ladies and Gentleman take heed from them and shed the opinions of others that you don’t need.
rockin’ “stretchy pants,” yours truly,