Posts Tagged ‘stroke recovery’

H.E double hockey sticks.

“My favorite driver is always either the bad guy or the underdog.” -Bo Jackson.

  John Colone has always been in on the joke. In fact, most likely He orchestrated it. Hell, Michigan has not only been the catalyst for many events, and caused some local controversies, but it’s also a place that champions the underdog. Wayward travelers, misfits, survivors, and tourists from all over the world visit this tiny town. There is not only an atmosphere of mischief, but of acceptance. Have crazy colored hair? Welcome.  Physically disabled? Welcome. A massive stroke survivor? Welcome.   All are welcome, and if you are a misfit of society, all the better. This is because, not only is there no discrimination in the town of Hell, they understand survivors. The struggle is real, and many who populate this place, from tourists to “Hellbillies.” get it.  The attitude is refreshing and not often found outside of  the borders of Hell. Imagine a place where you are given a chance to do something different, to be who you are, and to succeed. Well, then maybe you should get a job in town, I just did! Yup. After spending  countless hours putting my efforts into finding  employment the traditional way, at the usual places….. All I had to do was go down the street! Because right around the corner from me, is Hell. Michigan. I considered secretary positions, jobs related to my field of expertise(medical) and technological jobs.  However, I ultimately landed in the place I need to be at this time.  You know the saying “If you build it they will come?” Well, John built a town based on a punchline and over the years Good Morning America has passed through, Netflix, The Travel Channel, and even Sundance.  I suspect all the attention is the result of more than a funny name. Because, just like the charm of a stranger or honey to a bee, Hell has a natural magnetism. An energy that can be better understood if you spend any length of time here. Even more so if you meet the man behind the curtain. If you’d like to check it out more  visit http://www.gotohellmi.com  or drop by in person and say Hello. Perhaps, I’ll see you there!

Dear Reader.

You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.”
― Vironika Tugaleva.

You are more than a conqueror. You are above and not below. You are victorious. You are strong. You are loved. You have love. You have peace. But most of all  there is only one of you! Perhaps no one has told you these things before, but they should have! Too long we have been living from the wrong identity. Identities that have persuaded us that we aren’t enough or we don’t have enough. Because of this we often make the wrong decisions based on a feeling(and out of a place) of lack. However, when we have confidence in, and know our true identities, all our decisions then flow from that place instead. Our  choices all become filtered through the truth rather than a lie. This entire message and concept are exciting to me because it will revolutionize your life. Going into the next decade, if you live from the place of your trueidentity  you’ll experience triumph after triumph. No longer will you be a slave to those old ideas of self. Therefore, not only do you have to make a conscious choice to withdraw from those old ways, but to recognize the truth. Which is, as I’ve said above, the opposite of everything that has held you  down or led to bad decisions.  If you believe you are lacking in some area, you’ll usually strive to get it in some way. Not knowing(or realizing) that you already have it!  If you truly employ this modus operandi, the world around you will change. No longer will you be bending to fit the world, but suddenly it will bend to fit YOU.   Going forward, try to remember that no one can make you feel anything but what you CHOOSE. So, please in every situation choose life.

Happy  New Year!

Lets Get Real.

When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins.”
-unknown.

For most of us were thankful that our private thoughts  remain unknown by most of the people around us. But what if they weren’t? Would you be embarrassed,  shamed, or uneasy?  Most likely  it’s a mix of all three. Therefore I’m sure you’re thankful that no one can read your mind! However, what happens when(and if) you meet someone that can see right through you? It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Well, more recently  that very thing happened to me. But you know what? After the initial horror it was quickly followed by a mixture of relief and a feeling of  refreshment. That’s certainly  due to the fact that I needed to be called out! I think you probably do too. How are we to live an authentic life(that is the trending hashtag is it not) if we can’t be real with one another or even ourselves? The problem seems to  be with safety. How safe do you  feel with others? How safe do you feel venturing into the void of your own heart? And  finally, in this upside down world, do you feel safe at all?  Not many of us come across people we feel safe  with. If you’re  blessed you will find  a person that has your best interest in mind. Today, for the first time ever I met one of  those people. It was scary! It was refreshing! Last but not least I am blessed for it!   When you get called out personally, see this as a chance to grow. If  you’re not  uncomfortable  you are not growing. So grit your teeth, clench your eyes, or stay silent when you want to scream, and get uncomfortable. Somewhere in your loss of comfort  you’ll find the kind of gains that will make you a better person.

Blur

“Whether you think you can or you can’t you are  right.” -Henry Ford.

Perhaps when you wake up from a coma, not only are you seeing the world with new  eyes but the world is seeing you with new eyes as well. After a traumatic brain injury,  once the fog of confusion lifts, you  eventually realize there is no use in looking back only forward. Because, you are no longer who you used to be, so rather than  chase the same dreams ,you invent new ones.  In many ways reality becomes “unreality,” as you keep hoping it’s all just a bad dream that you’ll wake from. The problem arises when it   becomes apparent, that in fact this is your reality. Daydreams, imagination, and fleeting entertainment become your modes of escape. However, when those things end you have to drop back into waking life and  take action. Just make sure you’re moving in the right direction, and not just treading water spinning memories of what you believe your life was supposed to be like at this point in time. Sometimes, in fact, most of the time. Our life story is not linear.  Indeed, after the stroke  occurred mine became somewhat circular. I had to relearn walking, talking, eating, and I’ve fallen short  in my attempts like a toddler often does. But you know what? Now rather then such things  being a setback it’s more of an annoyance! It’s annoying being reminded that there’s still so much work to do. Not only on  myself  but in seemingly every arena outside of  myself  as well. At times it’s like putting back  together a shattered mirror. You just need to get everything to fit correctly, so you can see yourself  again. Until that point there are small pieces of you everywhere that are incomplete. So,  all you can do is carefully collect each piece, inspect it, repair the damage, and then place it back into it’s correct position. In stroke recovery and traumatic brain injury recovery this takes years. However, no day spent on self improvement is wasted. A day becomes wasted if we give up on trying to move  forward. Therefore, never let your spirit become idle my friends.

Stir things up!

Discovery

“Life is too short to be at war with yourself.” -unknown.

After  a traumatic brain injury  our souls tend to get lost in the fog. Actually,  after any serious trauma, every person  needs some time to get a strong foothold on reality once more. However, with strokes and injuries of similar circumstances there can be personality changes.   I remember my Mother saying “You’re still there!” As I giggled with joy at the fact, She had recognized in me  a character trait that had been unchanged by my stroke.  Much like Robin Williams is not recognized by the lost boys as Peter Pan; I had to let my personality shine through so I could be recognized. I was so afraid that besides stealing my life circumstances the stroke had taken my personality too. I spent a great deal of time questioning the what-ifs, buts, and making excuses. Such self doubt led to me over explaining my intentions and questioning myself.  Resulting in a further retreat of my personality. It was when I finally let go, and receded into peace while my circumstances washed around me like water; that I was able to find my way   through the fog of such a traumatic event. If only I had learned to let go sooner, how much further along would I be now? I was clinging to life as it  was, rather then how it IS. Accepting your circumstances doesn’t mean you’re going to settle for being stuck, quite the opposite! Instead, through acceptance comes peace and THEN the real battle can begin.  We all have a variety of battles to fight on our individual paths through life. However, that fight becomes much more difficult when your own ego gets in the way. When you finally embrace the path you’re walking, it is then you can choose which way to go. The fun part comes, when you realize that can be ANY direction.  As a survivor of  a trauma you have been given the tools to write a new book.  I only advise to aim for that book to be on the best sellers list.

Make Gratitude your Attitude.

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Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie.

As seen through the lens of a near death experience, you have no real problems. Paralysis? That’s a problem. Being stuck in a wheelchair for awhile(permanently for some) that’s a problem. These are just a couple of the problems I had after the stroke, and although the wheelchair is a thing of the past(see here) I still have many mountains to climb as I move forward in my recovery. Most of these mountains are things people take for granted. Like, gainful employment, driving, and generally living an independent lifestyle. If anything, that was my modus operandi before the stroke. I’ve always been and am fiercely independent and some would say stubborn. However, like everyone else I took my independent existence for granted. Imagine losing your lucrative job, nice NY apartment, a significant other, and waking up incapacitated in a hospital in one fell swoop? That is the reality(or more like un-reality) I woke up to in 2013.Many miles away from where I had built my home. As I grappled with my daunting circumstance, I often asked my distraught Parents to take me back to my apartment in NewYork. However, that was not to happen because I didn’t yet fully comprehend what  had happened to me. Fast forward to 2018… Today, I stand here having completed years of therapy and hitting some pretty big milestones. After climbing all those mountains, taking things for granted has generally been beaten out of me. In light of what could(and what did) happen, I have no problems. I had money in the bank, great health, and love before the stroke.Yet I still have them after! Although, maybe not in the capacity that I would like. Regardless I have them. Thus, I am working away  like a little construction worker rebuilding my life  after pouring the foundation of regaining basic skills. I have had to get back to eating solid foods, re-learn how to walk and work on social skills in order to function normally again. Although, it’s still a work in progress, aren’t we all? I figure, as long as you’re still alive you have a reason and a purpose to be here. Therefore march on brave soldiers!

bleu