Posts Tagged ‘NYC’
The pleasure principle.
“There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win.” -Muhammad Ali.
Sometimes, the greatest pleasure of your day is a cup of coffee in the morning. In coping with life after a near death I have in no way minimized my expectations or goals, but I have simplified what brings me happiness or fulfillment. When your life gets put on pause(or seemingly rewind) during a recovery from something like a stroke, jumping in the car to go and do what you please becomes impossible or non optional. Often, I am stuck at home, in therapy, on errands, or in a doctors waiting room. When one’s freedom is seriously compromised, you begin to find it in other places. Many of these places were just passing moments before the stroke, but now they have taken center stage. The little things became my main thoroughfare. For example, the promise of a good breakfast was all that could rouse me from my bed on many days. An event previously so inconsequential, was now a reason to get up. I began to structure my life around the goal of getting better, rather than work. My new career was to be a reconstructive surgeon on the body of my own life. Suddenly, I legitimately yearned to fight the hectic city traffic again! A two hour commute home after an eight hour day, was a dream compared to what I faced during the early days of recovery. How little we realize what a gift our lives are when everything is going to plan. In order to feel just as productive and accomplished as I was previous to the stroke, I shifted the types of things I wanted to accomplish. Now completing a list of chores became fulfilling. Not to mention it’s beneficial therapy! Folding hordes of towels with one arm works on a myriad of physical skills. Many that will naturally benefit me, all in the process of doing a mundane chore. Never underestimate the value of crossing things off a to-do list, no matter how simple it seems. Making up daily work for myself has saved my sanity, contributed to further recovery, and given me a sense of accomplishment. Once I realized that many mundane tasks propelled progress, they became par for the course. We don’t always need to do show stopping things in order to feel good or create value. It is what happens behind the scenes that creates a stellar show. The world normally sees the finished product without witnessing the intense work that it took to get there. It is for this reason you shouldn’t quit putting in the work. Because the work you put in will amount to what kind of life you experience.
Never give up!
Find your Tribe.
“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”
― Chuck Palahniuk.
I have always felt a little out of place or like an observer of this great big fish bowl earth, that’s teeming with life. This was especially true after I was injured and found myself displaced from where I had been thriving in New York City. I woke up at the bottom of a pity pit in a hospital rehabilitation center in my home state, back where I started before I moved away. I had hit a snake in life and slid right back to the beginning of the game. This couldn’t be more true since I had to relearn basic life skills that I had at one time already mastered. You would think a clean slate would be a good thing, but not so in this case. I had witnessed all the dominos I painstakingly set up, tumble down at the push of a bad life circumstance. I would soon be tasked with rebuilding it and that’s what I am now, a full time construction worker. The sixty four days I spent in the hospital and even more before that saw me inching towards the starting line. Although I had a supportive crowd cheering me on, I had lost my “tribe.” A group of fun like minded people that helped motivate me to be better were missing from the hospital setting. Therefore, I went to many therapy appointments(after discharge) with a different kind of tribe. They weren’t bad just fellow people that were hurt like me, so it was dark and depressing in that village. I missed the glittering happy atmosphere that I had been used to, since it lifted my spirits. Although, I certainly tried to get back there with weekend workshops like Blogcademy.(Glitter!)However, after two days of sunshine, on a Monday I had to return to that same dark village that was therapy; never was the importance of your atmosphere so obvious to me. Since then I have stumbled unexpectedly into members of my tribe(like this)which always makes me feel much better. Each day as I run into these like minded individuals and recover more, I can see the entrance to my village getting closer and closer. Never take for granted or underestimate the importance of being where you feel you belong, it will save your life!
one by one.
“Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.”- Hans Christian Andersen.
Every time I shed a little responsibility I imagine a pair of scissors cutting the string to a tiny man that’s holding me down. This makes the shedding of unnecessary belongings and responsibilities a lot more fun. My inherited beta fish died, not much sadness there… *snip snip*! One less thing to do. After nearly losing everything(my life included) material possessions suddenly became unimportant. I now view the accumulation of things as a burden. If I’m going to buy something new I get rid of a few old things to counter balance the amount of things I own, simply because you can become a slave to inanimate objects fairly easy. Not to mention, I evaluate each new purchase with one question, “how will this add value to my life?” If it doesn’t, I don’t buy it. Since life is fleeting I’d rather fill it with experiences over things that I have to pay for and then subsequently take care of. Give me a tasty gourmet meal over another tee shirt, an outing to the movies over some more expensive makeup, or a Broadway show instead of a birthday party and gifts. Why? Because lovely memories are a much greater gift then more material belongings. The object of the “game,” is to cut away as many strings as possible.
Granted, this doesn’t mean you should shirk all reasonable responsibilities, just that due to consumerism we add so many more unnecessary ones. In an already over burdened existence I find relief in cutting the strings. I believe you will too, so consider minimalism and find freedom!
Get out your scissors,
The Work of Your Hands.
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him.” positively. -Bob Marley.
Whether you’re considered an artist or not, we all create something. What ever that something is, be it cooking, painting, playing an instrument, taking care of a loved one, or simply doing your menial job well, all of it matters. Ensure the legacy you leave is one of love, hard work, and one that leaves an indelible mark on those around you. Even the most simple tasks done well can give a sense of pride. Since I have not been able to work in my busy fast paced career since the stroke, I’ve learned to channel that energy elsewhere. Now I put much more care and effort into everyday tasks. None of which are recognized on a stage, by the public ,or sometimes even my own family. However, when I know I’ve done something to the best of my ability or taken extra care, I’m satisfied. Because, whether it’s folding towels, washing dishes, or organizing my desk, I aim to leave a trail of excellence, and that’s how I’ll be remembered. No job is too small, or too big. When you start by tackling the “small things,” with ease, the big things get a whole lot easier. At one point I struggled to even dress myself, it was utterly exhausting! Afterwards I felt as if I’d just had a work out and be angry at the fact it took so much more effort then it did prior to the stroke. As I lay huffing and puffing on my bed, my Mother assured me with a laugh“It’ll get easier.” And you know what? One sock at a time it did. Now it takes me no more effort then it did before to get dressed. At one point I balked at therapists who assured me doing the dishes would pay off. Even though I once thought all these menial things made no difference, I was wrong. By starting with washing one dish, putting on one incredibly tight pressure sock(with one arm), folding that little washcloth, and organizing a drawer… Those things have now become getting fully dressed with ease, doing full loads of laundry, ALL the dirty dishes in the sink, and organizing an entire office. Since I have discovered this secret of starting small, I’m continually up to something. After all, every Neil Armstrong has had to start training down on earth before they can take their first steps on the moon.
one step for man….
Dear Mister Brightside.
“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach.
As with every new year we get a clean hopeful slate on which to scribble our aspirations on. Many resolutions are made, but notoriously not kept. They begin with a vigor only to be abandoned half way or later on. Why? Do we have short attention spans, lose focus, get tired easily, or just make goals up for fun? It’s likely a small amount of all of those but mainly what we choose to focus on. Are we keeping our eye continually on the prize and remaining positive or letting fear and doubt creep in on us? Many times in the pursuit of happiness we need to build a defense wall up against fear and doubt. This New Year began with me down in the trenches and feeling hopelessly sad. However, as the new days of January began to pour in, I shifted my focus and the gloom lifted. I had to consciously choose to look at the bright side of the coming year. Even in the little things like a great upcoming film, phone upgrade(I love new gadgets), or paying down my debts. Those are all good things to look forward to and helped nudge that gloom on it’s way right out of the door. Today, I am hopeful about the future because I’m only seeing the good things. I have eliminated watching reading or listening to negative content. Cutting out as much negative(or dark) noise from your reality is crucial. Just like advertising can subconsciously and subtly have an effect on you, so can the negative influences in the world around us. Therefore, keep it light! You may have to cut out a show or certain music, but the resulting clearing of air and your mind is well worth it. The effects of being choosey about what you let in are huge. Don’t accept those negative things(or thoughts) through the gates of your mind. Be a vigilante! Stop those thoughts from entering before they even begin. Better yet, negate those negative thoughts and give them a dose of their own medicine. When you hear a voice that whispers things like “Your never going to get there.” or “ It’s not going to happen.” and “Why even bother?” Declare out loud the opposite of those statements. After all, even Michelangelo’s masterpiece the David; was formed by diligently chipping away at a massive block of marble. Not to mention, marble is one of the hardest rocks out there. Dare I say it’s difficult just as your circumstances or goals may be. Except, Michelangelo persevered and look what He accomplished? A timeless and breath taking masterpiece! In the same way make your life a David.
keep chipping away!
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”- Confucius.
I’m absolutely positive that had I died, my Mother would deeply regret all the times She turned me away as a child asking Her to play. Because childhood is precious and fleeting, and because many years later that same little girl was nearly wiped off the planet. Surely, looking back on all those missed opportunities for memory making it would have been painful to recall. Many times we do the same thing to our opportunities. Just because they are not living and breathing creatures, it makes them no less valuable. When you ignore them or send them away, they can die just the same. How many opportunities have we let quietly slink away and die? Death has a way of making us take things more seriously. However, it is also because of death, that we value life more. Although, it is nearly impossible to recognize all of these opportunities in our busy daily lives, luckily they give us many chances to recognize them. Just as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, we will be met with another opportunity. With each one is the possibility for making memories, maybe money, generating happiness, or meeting someone you will never forget. Each time we knowingly let one of these opportunities pass us by, it’s a tragedy. Because, ultimately it is us who miss out. As life winds down or if it is ever threatened, these opportunities become much easier to spot. Therefore, do not fear the finite amount of time we have on this earth, but instead embrace it!
keep your eyes open,
“Isn’t it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties? Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing its absurdity.”- Vaclav Havel.
When a horrendous situation is thrust upon us, we often lament “Why me!?” However, a better question is “Why not me?’ Terrible things happen every day to guilty and innocent people alike. Each of us at birth were not promised a problem free life. In fact quite the opposite as our new Parents worried increasingly as we grew up. Because, at that moment they knew what we didn’t; that life is difficult and dangerous. Therefore, they sought to protect us as best as they could without confining us solely to the house. It’s not a question of why did it happen, but since it has how will you react to it? What will you do under the circumstances? Will this reveal your character or diminish it? Some people believe in fate, that our lives have been pre-orchestrated for us. This is not so, life is a series of choices no matter how small. The choices we make continuously throughout life culminate into our circumstance. When those choices are taken away and we find ourselves in a bad circumstance, we still have choices. When bad things happen it’s easy to give in, but ultimately at some point we must choose to get out. You can take steps no matter how small(mentally or physically) to escape your bad circumstance. When I first was injured the last thing I wanted to do was get out of my warm comfortable bed for therapy or a painfully early doctor appointment. Except I pushed through and did it anyway. At that point I had no choice but to get better, because I was starting from the lowest point reached in my life . Each day you make the choice to get better your adding to the bank of your future and making it brighter. Your seemingly small action is priceless and will culminate into better days ahead. So, have heart brave soldier and carry on. I promise you won’t regret it!
keep on keepin’ on!
“A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.”
― Theodore Roosevelt.
Every day we choose to move forward with hope, with determination, with perseverance, and tenacity we have casted our vote. Because, not every election is political. Many times we need to vote for ourselves, our future, our dreams, and above all choose life over death. Throughout my recovery I have had to choose between giving up, giving in, or, giving it everything I’ve got. When faced with insurmountable circumstances the struggle and the “race,” is very real. What you decide to invest in or vote for, will determine the direction in which your life goes. However, in order to win or finish the race, you cannot quit running. No matter how you feel it will do you well to get up and face the day anyway. Whatever place you’re in there is always a chance for progress. The gains are not always instantaneous but with diligent work they will soon become evident. Therefore, have heart and ignore the naysayers! My friends, you’ll blow right past them by maintaining your focus on your main goal. Whether it be the oval office or to attain your dream, both are achievable. Just as sure as the sky is blue I believe you can do it. More importantly, do you believe in yourself? The indomitable human spirit is capable of amazing things I promise you that. Therefore, get out of bed even though you’d like to hide in it because your resolve feels weak. The vote you cast in yourself and for your future, will give your feet a strong reason to hit the floor every morning and get moving.
here’s to victory!
“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”- Abraham Lincoln.
In the ever present stay calm and carry on posters they forget two words, and on. Therefore, they should read Stay calm and carry on and on and on! Why? Because we are creatures of great resolve when we’re pressed against the grind stone. Everyone struggles at some point, and no matter what it it is every struggle feels daunting and like it is specifically yours. However, there are many people struggling with the same thing, it is your reaction to that struggle that makes it individual. Not to mention, our struggles have a funny way of making us strong where we once were weak. At times when your looking for answers in the midst of trouble you are met with silence. Yet we mustn’t forget that when you’re going through something difficult, the teacher is quiet during the test. Even amidst the silence you are not alone. It is within these hardships that our determination and perseverance really shine. I have been asked how I am able to continue and remain so optimistic in a situation many would find bleak. The fact is, I remain optimistic because I believe there is more to this world then only what I can see. There is no solid explanation for our existence, just as there is no solid explanation as to how I survived death. One can only assume that there must be a teacher out there helping me(and you) along the way. It is because of this we keep on going and do not faint or crumble at the first signs of trouble. Rather, we buckle down to withstand the storm and reach our goals that lie just on the other side of them.
reach for the other side,
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