Invisible children grow up to be invisible adults.Be thankful& walk in love,
Posts Tagged ‘Love’
Truth or Dare
“Those who help you up when your down also know what it’s like to be down.” -unknown.
Dear reader,I have a secret to tell you.While I have found writing to be cathartic and sharing my story to be important I feel I haven’t been completely honest.While I have mainly conveyed a hopeful positive person, that has not always been the case.As seen with social media sometimes we share only the best moments in life.Truthfully,life is messy! While indeed I am hopeful and positive about my life, on the other hand there are darker tales untold.I think sharing struggles is just as important as sharing the pretty things in our lives.Even more can be gleaned from the not so perfect.Because flaws are relatable,(were only human)after all “perfect people,”tend to incite feelings of jealousy or envy in others.I think by being honest it brings about closer relations and genuine meaning.To make a long story short through the trials and tribulations of recovery from a near death experience it has been a giant roller coaster.I have experienced highs and lows among the twists,turns,and bumps.Sometimes being flipped completely upside down. Among the highs were triumphs such as successful surgeries,happy moments and significant physical gains.However among the lows were such things as suicidal threats and in particular one near check into a mental health facility(not so fun)so obviously things have been far from perfect to say the least! Oddly enough I eventually found a way to come from those dark corners into a brighter place. I actually lamented that at least being “committed,”would have garnered some good albeit funny stories for later on in life.However, my parents did not find it as comical… Honestly what has gotten me through has been the belief in a God that loves me and wants me well just as much as I want to be well.That and my logical thought of, if I can survive what most surely would not anything is possible.Where it has been ugly and terrible I have also seen the beautiful and wonderful.
Hoo are you?
“Are you your looks,accomplishments,things you own,or things you have done?”
I used to attribute my value to things outside of myself.
When I told others about where I was from or lived I was often times met with reactions of being impressed.
This told me that others also identified value with things outside of themselves.
Your not your house,your car,or even your job.
However, you happen to be your children,your significant other,and your friends(guilty by association!) all these people are reflections of you and also express a portion of your soul(mind+emotions+thoughts) were more than just a physical body(despite science class explanations…) but we also have a spirit.I realized one day that each of my friends served a valuable purpose in my life and reflected part of my personality as well.I’m not just where I live or what I do.I am at the very core a spirit and so are you.We each posses a spirit that drives us in the direction of its characteristics.
What I have found is that indomitable human spirit that continues moving forward despite circumstances.
Contrary to anything physical that other people can see,we have an entire world happening internally.
It’s in this world where our thoughts,ideas,and emotions originate.
Things flow from the internal to the external and not the other way around.
Therefore nothing outside of yourself can define you.
You set your own limits as well as how far you will go.
We can all go as far as we want to!
I find that idea fun& exciting.There is no reason to give yourself a glass ceiling.
Moreover where your motivation originates can also dictate the outcome.
If the motivation is material odds are you won’t go terribly far. On the contrary if your motivation is of the immaterial chances are those ceilings won’t exist for you.
The greatest actions I have seen usually come from a place of love.
When you have only yourself to gain and nothing to lose.There is no telling where you can go.Finally try to forget the pre-conceived notions of what makes us successful and valuable and instead recognize accomplishments and your spirit world. Inanimate objects will always be there, the world is full of unnecessary material items that don’t really matter.While material posessions abound, there is only one you.
Hope Floats
Sometimes it’s fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney
As if hope were a life jacket to keep you from drowning in sorrows,even when your knocked unconscious it brings you to the surface where you will be rescued.
Over a year ago I was going to drown.I have not seen the movie of this same blog title.However, the concept rings very true.Before I was given a glimpse of some real hope I was unconscious, sinking closer and closer to the ocean floor.Once hope arrived it gave me a life jacket.Now I have steadily been floating back up to the surface where I will be awaiting my rescue.I have decided since being rescued myself to go to school for aspiring lifeguards.While I have been on the shore looking out over the sea,I have seen others drowning or at risk and I’d like to offer a buoy.From the depths of the great unknown it’s possible to surface for some air and get more understanding.Were all swimming towards the shore and with the safety of hope we’ll certainly get there faster and not to mention safer.
**Cheers friends**
Attitude=Altitude
Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older(NO!) or maybe it’s because of circumstances.
I have observed in women of all ages and in myself the detrimental effects a low self esteem can have.There are numerous studies done on how low self esteem not only effects you personally but society as a whole.Because little girls are not fed more self esteem boosting material were losing out on future doctors,lawyers,scientists,and leaders.This not only effects people personally but all of us as a whole too.
If We could just love ourselves rightly and realize our value and potentials it would start a social revolution! We would likely see a major decrease in things like anorexia, a spike in grade levels in education regarding girls, and overall society would be better for it.
After being discharged from the hospital to my parents home,I had a huge wheelchair that I got around in.Being in it affected how I felt about myself and was a great social experiment too.
I discovered that people either stared at you,paid no attention, or were super nice.
At the time I felt unwanted,unlovable,and uncomfortable about being in it.I also hardly felt as if I could be sexy! A large part of what I felt made me attractive was seemingly taken away.
I suspect other women that are wheelchair bound(I’m not any longer) may feel that way.
However, to the credit of my Mother in particular, one day She told me “Just hold your head up and be proud of who you are.” She is absolutely right! I felt uncomfortable because of the stares but not after I took that to heart.As we all know, our culture puts a heavy value on physical appearance.The emphasis on outward looks is causing a large neglect on our inner health.Women aren’t the only ones effected by the obsession over youth and beauty. After sometime I no longer cared or felt bad about being in a wheelchair.In fact I later had fun zipping around in it and dancing even!
I decided to choose life and not care so much about what other people thought.In fact as a joke I used to believe that noone would pay any mind to someone in a wheelchair blatantly shoplifting, because they ignored you! Thus I even pretended to steal things sometimes and behold I was never suspected or caught.
Through all of this I now feel more open to being myself then I ever have.
Life is simply too short to limit yourself based on what others think.
Do yourself a favor and once you change your attitude there is no limit to how high your altitude will go!
tell yourself as well as the women in your life that they’re beautiful.We should be applauding accomplishments rather than a lovely appearance in everyone not only young girls.Society and you personally will only benefit from us all holding each other up.
Stay beautiful,
True Story: I was a clerk in Hell
Working inHell was rather ordinary as it turned out.
Most days were spent serving customers various things from the creamatorium(ice-cream), sometimes serving the occasional gravedigger or ringing up various Hell souvinirs.
Once the Today Show actually did a Halloween special from Hell.
Everyone showed up with signs all dressed up, some driving hearses.
I ran the shop for the day dressed as an angry housewife(i.e a baby,in pajamas,holding a frying pan, and smoking a fake cigarette.) it was a last minute costume.In Hell it was usually mild temperatures, occasionally freezing over.During those times a news crew would show up to report that Hell froze over.Apparently this was funny news.
I met people from all over, even other countries. I often asked them why they were in Hell.
Because Hell was actually a pretty small place, and why come all the way from England to see it?
The regulars in Hell were usually bikers.
At some point tour buses would drive thru filled with the elderly.
The bikers were harmless as most just hung out around the bar or got kicks out of teasing me.Two times I was flashed in the middle of the store by their “motorcycle babes,” while they laughed finding it to be hilarious.Most of the time it was quiet with tourists or locals coming in and out.A group of kids from Oregon got my number one day.They would call me on holidays and such to ask what it was like in Hell taking note that I was a female.I didn’t know them personally but I’d say the silly phone calls happened for a few months.At the time my parents lived down the street from Hell and still do.
Me: “Oh, so this is where your moving?”
Parents: “Yes, we bought property and built a house.”
Me: “Sounds like a nice place.”
It was quite odd to drive to school and pass a guy in a devil costume telling runners which way to go in the early morning.It may be surprising but Hell actually puts on fundraisers and runs.On the day it turned 6-6-6 helicopters buzzed over my sunbathing head.The street was completely packed with cars,3,000 people were there to celebrate! They still have fundraisers, runs, hearse parades, and sometimes even music.I actually am aiming to work in Hell again, using the money for a new tattoo(a pheonix )to mark the journey I have been on and my goal of rising from the ashes.It would mean more to earn the money myself,as well as work again after all the struggles I have been through.Since I have worked in Hell before, I have been offered a position to return to.I probably will since it’s close and I am comfortable there.When I first came to my parents for recovery, I would often exclaim I was in Hell(literally&figuratively).
In life many of us take things for granted.
One thing I have learned is that my worries and gripes before were inconsequential.
In the big picture there is no comparison between your boyfriend dumping you and your hand being paralyzed.Unfortunately these days I find it hard to relate to my former self and sometimes even friends.
Nearly dying and the struggles that have come with that have changed my perspective.
I think everyone at one point will experience a perspective changer.I just certainly hope yours does not nearly kill you!
In truth the world seems to value the things that don’t truly matter to us as individuals.
While the world puts an emphasis on looks and appearance, what little girls and grown up girls actually need is to develop their minds.While I perhaps griped about traffic,work,or relationships before,I was wrong.
What really matters is that I HAD a job,someone to gripe about,and my health was perfect.
Now that my world has in a way become smaller, my views and ideas have actually gotten larger.
Now I see the things that really matter.
I want to reach out to other people and demonstrate love,and human kindness.
What really matters when all the material is taken away is the person.
We are beings full of life,light, and possibility.It’s time to strip down to the core of what matters.I urge you all to reach out to one other person.Imagine the world if we all did that?Be the change you want to see in the world.We have but one life,make it count,and leave an impact.Besides bright stars don’t burn out,they explode.
Love,
Century Girl
Recently, I turned 100 before my Great Grandmother, and that’s okay with me!
In the past I have spoken about how important hope is to us as people.
One story that comes to mind about my Grandmother(Grandma Cookie) is a day when She was visiting.
I had recently acquired the book Century Girl about a fantastic woman who lived in the days of the NYC Zeigfeld Follies dancers and continued to be involved with dance until She turned a century.
The reason this was special to share with my Grandmother is because of( you guessed it) JHope!
Seeing another woman who was able to live, and live that long and do it vibrantly was important to encourage Her.
Not to mention it wasn’t often someone 60 years Her junior could converse about music,actors,and events from the 1930’s.
She was born in 1918, lived through the depression, and enjoyed dancing to big bands with Her brother on the weekends.
I always enjoyed Her stories and pictures from days past.
More recently at the age of 95 life is waning away from Her.
However, I expect to be 100 right along with Her.
This is a post dedicated to love,hope,and most of all thankfulness!
That being said dear reader, check out my silly video below please and thank you….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKSTYC220xw
Cheers!
Facetime isn’t just for iPhones.
You know what’s amazing?
There are millions of people in the world and yet we all look different.
There are so many combinations of two eyes, one nose, and a mouth it’s amazing.
It certainly makes my face making attempts with a Mr Potato Head look infantile.
Because if you really stop to think about it, how is that possible?
Furthermore, if the eyes are the window to the soul then your smile is it’s door.
Growing up my Mum often pointed out people’s unique or beautiful smiles.
They not only change a persons appearance but display a light or happiness from someones soul onto their face.
Even crooked smiles are lovely, because why should they be straight?
Trees that wind and twist are often more interesting than the straight and narrow ones, the same could be said of smiles.
In a busy distracting world “grownups,” tend to lose their childlike wonder.
If you’ve ever noticed,anyone that retains it comes off as “magical” or easily amused.
That’s not so because those people have just found how to quiet their minds to catch the things in life that often go unnoticed.
In the film American Beauty,I once thought the bag in the wind scene to be stupid(below).
However, it isn’t and it’s a good example of just quieting yourself to notice the unseen beauty around you.
When I find myself looking too much at ground level, I know it must be time to look up.
Because if you fail to look beyond yourself or your immediate surroundings you’ll miss out on the beautiful sky and looming buildings just above your head.
As we know, a bird cannot fly very far stuck in a cage….
The “world” looks up to supposed perfect celebrities, but they forget its better to look down.
After all kids see at a lower level(eye-level) that’s why they catch more than us.
While were thinking of jobs, appointments, bills, or a current dilemma we miss the small things like a passing smile from a stranger, the little fuzzy caterpillar climbing a tree, or tiny birds hopping along the sidewalk in all their cute glory.
Life is a series of many small moments, and while in our “grownup” heads we simply miss them.
some of my favorite smiles:
Keep looking up(and down!),
Parents just don’t understand
As the young Will Smith sang“Parents just don’t understand.”
While 16 year old me agreed with that, I actually felt that way not too long ago.
When I was first taken to my parents home for recovery I was highly agitated about it.
I even accused them of kidnapping me!
However, after one day when I was particularly mean to my Mum(i.e taking it out on Her) I began to think that maybe it’s ME that doesn’t understand…
After all they want the same thing I do, which is ultimately to get my life back.
As teens we all despised our own parents at one point or another and I found myself feeling that way again.
Although at the time I failed to take into account that they’re just people too.
We all were struggling with how to deal in the midst of this tragedy(see here.)
After I thought about it more and reminded myself that we were all working towards the same goal, it helped lessen the frustrations.
Because, you know they’re just humans too.
In fact they were a pair of rock n’ roll kids who basically ran away from home together at the age of 18 or so.
See the awesome “professional picture” of them below from the 1980’s which is my favorite. Many a visitor to my NewYork apartment marveled at it.
When it comes down to it between these two humans, I think they did a pretty good job in raising me. They truly love my sometimes crazy self.
In sum, who I am today has in a large part been due to my parents.
Whether it be due to age or trials and tribulations, I’m proud of who I am.
They helped me when I needed it, and even when I accuse them of kidnapping they still love me and your parents do too, so try and cut them a break once in awhile.
Rock on and cheers!
Standing on a soapbox.
“Dying is easy,it’s living thats hard.” -unknown
I find this statement to be quite true at times.
Not just for me but for everyone on this earth.
Anyone can get on a soapbox with a bullhorn.
Except few people can command attention with it,despite their cries of indignation.
Through circumstance I have been given that authority,
likewise ,“With great power comes great responsibility,” as said by Stan Lee.
Through unexpected,and unplanned circumstances I’ve found myself primed for a soapbox.However small the audience,each person matters.The question begging an answer is,now that I’m here, what do I have to say?
While driving along to a concert with my family a thought occurred to me;Attempting to describe any singular great experience is akin to trying to fit music and the entirety of feelings it encompasses into a box.
Besides such an act seeming impossible, at times so has my recovery.
However, I have some good news it’s not impossible.My hopes besides a full recovery are to demonstrate what’s been given to me to others similarly in need of their own recipe to bring them through their troubles.No one person can fulfill this because its something we have to find on our own however other people, like the Cheshire Cat(Alice in Wonderland),can certainly help point the way.
Which direction will you choose? Well, that depends on which cat you encounter.
The best kind are positive,follow through with what they say,and are able to properly demonstrate love.
It is in love that I recommend blocking out the negative things of this world,
especially when faced with an important mission.
It is not enough to simply be alive, but to also actively live your life and share that lust for life with others.Because were all in this boat together.
Overall it has been these types of people that have built a human chain of sorts that has brought me through.
Humanity is like a chain link fence,were all together as one, if any link be weak,strengthen it.
How do you help the weak link? Just as you would a metal fence,build it back up.
Be it with words,inspiration,a hug,some physical help,or whatever the method it’s important to do it.
***When I was living in New York City I saw that negativity could spread throughout people almost like a cancer and physically exhaust you.
Now that I have been able to look back into it like a snow globe after returning from the brink of death,my hope is to be an inspiration,not only thru actions but in,interactions as well.
Each one of us is a walking,living story, in order to let other people read your book, you have to show them.
Nonetheless I am determined that where I’m headed is nowhere near where I came from.
