July 18, 2015

Defying Death

“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”

-Khalil Gibran.

Not too long ago a friend asked me if I was afraid of death, and She was right in supposing that I am not. In coming so close to dying and surviving, any fears of it were removed. Although I cannot completely take the credit. Many doctors,nurses,friends,family,and certainly angels were present. There is no reason to fear death because We are immortal. It has been scientifically shown that, energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Therefore, our energy(or soul) must simply be transferred somewhere else. This life is a transient plane. If your circumstances are bad, it helps to remind yourself that nothing is forever. This reminder also helps us to savor the present moment.While no one knows what happens to us when We pass,there are many theories. Some people have actually surmised a weight for our soul( 21 grams). There is no reason to fear. Through my recovery, love has continually carried me through. Each day We have a choice, there is no “wrong side of the bed.” Were not at the mercy of our emotions. This certainly doesn’t mean be robotic,just that We have a choice. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy having some semblance of control. Even though the World seems random or out of control it is oddly enough quite orderly. The Earth obeys laws of nature, the sun rises and sets each day, and even the stars are in patterns that create constellations. Each day your lungs inhale oxygen,you open your eyes, and move about freely(some cannot) We are not like a Fall leaf carried by the wind, so this is actually good news! You can make a conscious decision to be happy(and share it with others)or not. As Yoda says(nerd alert!). Do or do not, there is no try.Hope deferred makes the heart sick, if you follow the ways of love, you can’t go wrong. Each of us have options(yay options!) We can choose life(positivity) or choose death(negativity) Both have been placed before us. To my knowledge you’ll always win when you choose life.

LOVE,

July 7, 2015

Love is all you need

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

-Ferdinand Foch.

Even though it’s been over 20 years since his death, John Lennon speaking from the grave is still inarguably correct. Although it seems the obvious conclusion,many people still need reminding. It’s apparent that with so much hurting in the World, love is the solution. If only people knew how much they were loved I suspect you’d see many more happy and healthy people. This is also why people preach of God’s(or “the universes”)love. Because,imagine if We were fulfilled in knowing that were deeply loved? I suspect that those empty places that each of us try to fill(some negatively) would cease to be a problem. Instead of looking outside ourselves or to other people, perhaps We need to turn our gaze inward and upward. To love and be loved is to be fulfilled and contented. The world has made a mess of love, but ideally it’s unconditional love that should be pursued. In order to show this kind of love, We first need to have been loved this way. The World demonstrates that love is simply a feeling or emotion. However, love is learned(a very intelligent therapist told me this). If your not shown or have experienced a healthy love, it’s more likely you will not know how to love others in a healthy way. This is how the problems ensue. If we are not given or shown love properly, that leaves room for dysfunction to creep in. This cycle perpetuates as generation after generation has missed the mark. The world certainly has perfected what love is NOT(see here!) When you know your truly and deeply loved, this carves out a rock solid foundation on which to build the highest of buildings. Without a solid foundation, the building will falter,as do We. When love fills in the gaps it allows us to reach our potential and soar. In order for this to happen, it seems the world and everyone in it needs to be rewired. This seems like an impossible and daunting task,except it isn’t. A revolution never started out of nothing but with one determined person. You don’t need a like minded mob to create change(although it helps)it can begin with one! If you are fulfilled with love, pay it forward and help create a domino effect. A master painting doesn’t just start out as a finished work,it begins with a single small brush stroke. You can be that first brush stroke in a series leading up to a Mona Lisa! There is no time like the present,and why wait until tomorrow for what you can do today?

–Carpe Diem

June 14, 2015

The walking books

“So often people act like they don’t want to be bothered, but I think they yearn for that.” -Iris Apfel

We all have a story, but how often is the cover of that book completely misleading?

The best connections and intimacies happen when We allow or are allowed to peel back the pages of another person’s book. So often it seems that were not allowed to do this. Paper books are read and written,but not our own. Why must We keep our personal stories so secret? It is this lack of sharing and misleading covers that keep us so very disconnected. While it may not be obvious, there is a strong undercurrent in humanity that screams out for connection. Why else are there so many blogs,gangs,addictions,attempted suicides,rich therapists,and internet forums? The very existence of such things is proof of the latter. As a society We succeed at many things, but it is in this realm that we miserably fail. During my recovery I found myself wanting to talk to everyone(even strangers)to the point of having to be reminded not to do it like some sort of child. I simply found myself actually wanting to know people. In having to take a closer look at my own story, I badly wanted to know others. Because at the moment my pages were(are)suspended in disbelief, and I desperately needed to find some common ground with my fellow humans. There are so many problems I see that could easily be fixed if there was some support. It’s as if since the culture of the Leave It to Beaver 1950’s,we have effectively learned how to remove our hands from supporting the crowd surfer overhead. In doing this they fall to the ground and hopefully haven’t broken anything. However, would any of us even stop to ask them if they’re alright? I’ve gotten some of the greatest pleasure in simply being allowed to get to know someone. It’s not often when a total stranger allows you to read their book. I have found that in places of injury(rehab) people are the most open and willing to have a connection. Devastation is the great equalizer. When the world is seemingly ending, there is no time to create prejudices, categories,or invisible rules. We are all simply people in need of love,safety,food,and shelter. The real tragedy lies in the fact that until someone tries to destroy that world(ours or actually)We blissfully operate in these divides. Never has it been more evident to me that “United We stand,but alone,We fall.”

Open up your book!

March 19, 2015

Love lockets on a fence..

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

― Dalai Lama XIV

If I have learned anything on this healing journey it’s that like a fence were all linked together. The influence of a few can be felt by many. Imagine a world where helping one another was commonplace. Perhaps that’s my 1950’s pipe dream. However, I’ve seen the difference it’s made in my life so I can only conclude that it would revolutionize the world. If We could just envision our connections more clearly, perhaps We would see how paying it forward only benefits us. Even the notion of holding the door open for someone else, it all adds up. I remember loving every act of kindness I witnessed in otherwise pretty selfish environments. From a young gentleman giving up his seat on the subway, to the girl helping a woman haul Her baby carriage down the treacherous stairs. Each of these acts may seem insignificant, but imagine if they ran rampant. The way a society treats the least of it’s members(i.e. the elderly,children,animals,the handicapped) reflects it as a whole. I’ve even witnessed a pair of homeless men helping out another with no legs on the New york subway at 3 a.m! Those who haven’t struggled themselves fail to see others who are currently in a struggle. Personally I’ve been rich, I’ve been poor,and I never saw as much as when I was poor. For what seems much longer, but for about two years I have been living as a handicapped individual. In this position it’s easy to be overlooked and feel frustratingly helpless. I’ve noticed much more the people that open the door, go out of their way to help, and even kind words. On the other hand it’s been even easier to see acts of selfishness. There are even forays into the science of being selfless.(see here! Those who possess more selfish qualities fare worse in terms of survival in the wild. What does that tell you? Could not the same be said about humans? After all no man is an Island. Just as lovers that symbolically padlock themselves together on a fence in Paris, throwing the key into the river, so are We connected. My guess is there’s no finding that key anytime soon so We should at least make the best of it until the fence rusts away or the padlock gets cut off!

Cheers and kitten ears,

March 14, 2015

Love is all You Need

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”

― John Lennon.

Through what has been a harrowing journey, I think one of the many bigger things I have learned is that if you have a choice, when you choose love you can’t lose.

As you probably already know, we are all connected like the synapses of our brains, paper chain dolls, and even the cosmos. Much like them we too, shine on.

I rarely like to ask for things, but plainly put,(Donate button on the right please) I need your help fellow humans.

This request stems from my journey in learning how to walk again from being half paralyzed.Early on in rehab, I used to pretend I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge(not an indoor track rife with grandmas and grandpas)for motivation. However as I have gotten better, regained my balance, and amped up my determination I want to make this daydream a reality. Because when things are bad you can push through them to the other side. As a demonstration of this I want to walk all 1.1 miles of the bridge with friends and family to celebrate life, raise stroke awareness,and inspire others to cross their own bridges in life My hope is to do it in the Fall, but if funds won’t allow it will have to wait.Thus, if you will each raise up your hands, I could crowd surf safely across them to the stage.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3qvosHHcWc&w=560&h=315%5D

Love&Cheers,

March 12, 2015

Color Me Happy

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”-Walt Disney.

My parents were warned I may not live,and I was in a coma. However, I did live and eventually woke up. Now what do I want to do? Well, Ladies and Gentleman a 5K(3.106 miles) because it was believed that I may never be able to do such a thing. Even before I had the massive stroke I had wanted to do a color run. It is a for profit organized run inspired by the Indian festival of Holi(see here)iPerhaps I’m a sucker for gimmicks, but it looks fun and benefits charity From my point of view, Upon finding one near me I signed up and registered, and even getting my Dad to sign up! That is a shining example of the kind of strong support I have. Because my Dad is willing to get covered in colors and even glitter.! I almost didn’t live,had to learn how to walk again,and faced many naysayers. After hearing Doctors and sometimes even therapists tell me what I could and couldn’t do it would have been easy to lose hope or believe them. Except luckily it began to have the opposite affect on me. I was becoming quite the rebellious child. When you so often hear what you can’t do,either a resilience builds up in your soul or a fierce determination makes itself known. While I have always been rather determined, I didn’t know exactly how strong I was until that was the only choice. These days that determination is ever stronger and with a solid streak of rebellion. Because when I’m told I can’t do something, naturally I want to do it. By doing this run(or walk) I wanted to push through the “impossible.” All too often we are told what we can’t do, but what about what we can? I’ve been blessed that for every naysayer I’ve had a friend or loved one that told me the opposite. With love anything is possible. We just don’t hear that enough. So what do you do when people think you can’t walk? The answer is to run a 5K!

Pssst enjoy this glam video advertising this years Color Run too!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzFU-Nt1_po&w=560&h=315%5D

Shine on,

February 16, 2015

Road To the Heart

“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.” -Tom Wolfe.

I passed out on a bathroom floor in upstate New york and woke up in a Hospital near my parents house in Michigan. A distance of 650 miles from the place that I called home. Needless to say I was swimming in a sea of hopelessness and loss. I had been unfortunate enough to have had a massive stroke, which nearly killed me and was seemingly making my dreams of returning to my beloved city all but impossible. Suddenly the idea of time passing terrified me. With each new day rather than look at the possibilities I thought of all the things I missed or was missing out on. As far as I was concerned the prime of my life had been stolen and was getting spent sitting in waiting rooms, at a therapy, or in Doctor offices. Recently I had the chance to go back and visit my old neighborhood of Astoria Queens. Rather then saying “goodbye,” as my Mother suggested I chose to say “See you later.” Luckily I found that not much had changed in the neighborhood, which quelled my fears of the world changing drastically without me to be a part of it. I was somewhat apprehensive before the day of visiting arrived, mostly because I was worried I would become very sad. However, once I had arrived there everything was as I remembered and thus it was actually comforting. All the time I spent living in fear of missing out was dashed. I chose to use this visit for motivation rather than defeat. I navigated the neighborhood easily(as I know it!) and arrived to a dinner with close friends.

Afterwards I left to have a toast in my first apartment there.( Photo Below, right)

My former roommate and I laughed as We reminisced and spoke of the neighborhood changes. In many ways I felt as if I hadn’t been gone at all. For months all I wanted to do was return to the city I love and I believed it was lost to me.It’s very easy to buy into the naysayers that do nothing

but instill doubt. Luckily though, I have some people that remind me of the YES. The visit was not only to see friends but to

get a surgery that would make a difference in the speed of my “road trip,” back East. Thanks to the love and support of many they’ve kept my gas tank full and the motor running. In many ways were all on a “road trip,” I just happened to break down along the way, experienced a delay, and had to take a detour. Along with me in my vehicle each of my friends and family wrote me a letter ordrew me a picture. Every now and then I figure out that these individual pages fit together, and wherever one is missing I write my own. Soon enough it appears that it’s becoming an Atlas that’s pointing me where I need to go. Earlier on the map was destroyed and I thought I’d never find my way back to where I wanted to go. Luckily though I have some angels on my side that seem to be well equipped with maps and

glue! Gastroteca Astoria below:

See you soon!

January 26, 2015

The Haunting

Every year right near my birthday I’m greeted with hearts and proclamations of romantic love. Usually I’m not only close to celebrating my birthday but also somehow always single. Needless to say, over the years I have built up an emotion resembling contempt for this hallmark holiday. However, this year even when stumbling upon a small collection of love notes(below) from an ex, I could find no ill will in my heart.The ghosts of Valentines past didn’t succeed in upsetting me.

Normally I would toss these sentiments away along with any reminders, gifts, any associated music files, their phone number, and pictures. Except this time I chose to not only keep them but I also read them over and remembered the sweet times. You may ask me“Why Grinch of Valentines Day would you do such a thing!?” My reply would perhaps be confusing for you fellow Grinch’s but nevertheless maybe my heart grew two sizes( and my brain) so as a result I felt no contempt.While the who’s ran around throwing their heart confetti everywhere and chattering about upcoming dates I had a date with reality. The truth is no matter what your status is this holiday, it really doesn’t matter as long as your happy even if it’s with yourself. Although these things would normally make me sad, I’m simply not because I no longer waste my time being forlorn over someone that was too daft to recognize my beauty. You most definitely shouldn’t either!The world’s population stood at 7.125 billion people in 2013.Don’t you think at least one of those humans might just fit your puzzle piece? That being said, clearly there is no shortage of available suitors. Now my dear friend it’s just a matter of serendipity. Having this knowledge has helped me to completely avoid any forlorn nonsense. Because life can be navigated on a Vespa motorcycle fitted for one too! Some moments have been devised solely for your consumption.If your ever feeling really blue during this very pink holiday, just seek out the nearest couple arguing in public, which is guaranteed to help you feel better( works for me) because your not the one making a spectacle of yourself. If you choose not to spend your time toiling away on anti-valentines day cards this year at least go on a date ( with a bestie) and enjoy some time well spent. Furthermore rather then looking for love outside of yourself try turning your gaze inward. You have nothing to lose and a world to gain when you learn to truly(finally) love yourself.

This ones for you:

Cheers!

January 15, 2015

About a Boy

“Sometimes heartbreak is a lesson, the best thing to do is just learn the lesson.” – Jon Voight.

Since the eponymous holiday of St.Valentine is upon us, this led me to reflect upon past loves.One cannot avoid this holiday as it announces itself in a flurry of pink,red, hearts, and candy in every convenience store as soon as February draws near.I guess Love just cannot wait! Normally this holiday comes and goes with an eye roll and “anti- Valentines Day,”cards mailed to friends from me. Instead, in anticipation of it I thought about the subject of heartbreak(that and the great decor’ this time of year) I admit, I have a difficult time letting go.The biggest regret I have of this is the time wasted spent talking about, thinking about,or crying about someone who was simply not worth it. A good friend of mine once told me “Don’t waste your time on a man(in this case boy) who is not strong enough to jump the hurdles with you.” This is good advice for a couple of reasons, one, look for those on your playing level and two, time is precious. I’m no expert but I do know the best things I did when in this sad state were going out and pursuing what made me happy and healthy(yay for rad friends!) Unfortunately though for some it is true that no one can complete you.However, if you learn how to love yourself(start HERE!) you’ve already won.While you shouldn’t resign yourself to lone wolf status forever, you’ll be better off(and healthier) if you can carry your own.It’s a win-win situation to be and feel whole in yourself.We all deserve a person that recognizes how wonderful we are.Do the things that you enjoy,fulfill you, and that truly enrich your life it will only serve you for the best. As they say “The best revenge is living well.” Besides when you do meet the person who is worthy of your time it will be all the better if they find you to be a happy and whole person all on your own.When your on life’s path to the top of the mountain to conquer it(whatever yours may be) the best thing is to meet a fellow traveler who is also on their way up too and can keep you company on the way there.This year go on a date with your best friend,be it a boy or girl! 🙂

Safe Travels this holiday!

January 10, 2015

Struggle= Strength

“I didn’t know how strong I was until that was the only choice.”

I have always been fiercely independent and prided myself on that.However since having a near death experience I’ve also been severely dependent in some ways.For quite awhile(a year?) I have had someone around to help me even with simple things like getting dressed! I felt as though all my independence had been stolen from me.Seemingly trapped in a body that was not working for me,even the little things like getting dressed suddenly became difficult. It was strange to be asked questions by healthcare workers like “Are you able to feed yourself?” Because, of course that was always a given! My world had been turned upside down and in the prime of my life I found myself in a battle to regain it.Even small steps were big ones to me.All the things I had previously not noticed or taken for granted were in stark contrast to what I was dealing with now.I’m still in the battle but now I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.This morning instead of having an “assistant,” there to help I insteaddfid everything myself, even though at times it was a struggle as I realized I was doing it on my own again I increasingly became excited and proud of myself,not all too dissimilar from a kid finally tying their own shoes.That sense of accomplishment was worth the momentary struggles of getting dressed using one arm,even better I did it in under 20 minutes! The struggles of the past gave way to victory.These things are what make you stronger. Although we see our struggles as a pain in many ways they’re the stepping stones to an eventual (and equally glorious) victory.Through such a small feat to others I found(if only a sneak peek) some of my confidence and determination.As I wheeled(wheelchair) out of the room I looked at this picture(below) and said “See you tomorrow.”

May you too be bold and find your strength,

Posts Tagged ‘Love’