Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

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“You used to be much more…”muchier.” You’ve lost your muchness.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.

Much like Alice we are all on a journey to find our muchness.

I have found that my own personal journey has very much reflected the story of Alice in Wonderland.

Over the past year and a half I have met character after character.
The jabberwocky for me was the recovery and overcoming of  the massive stroke.
Many times I have been at a crossroads of confusion.
It was as if the Cheshire Cat was pointing me in all sorts of directions.

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However, I couldn’t always listen to him but follow my own feet as best I could.

The evil queen of hearts for me though, resided in a large hospital castle.

She sent her army of doctors after me,while I ran thru a garden maze looking for the exit.

Luckily, I have found the tiny door to a room that leads out though.
When I finally return from the depths of the rabbit hole I have plans.
Like Alice,I too have large dreams and new frontiers to set sail for.
Alice keeps getting questioned who she is in the film repeatedly.
Until, finally the mad hatter recognizes her after she regains her”muchness.
I also was questioned repeatedly on who I was.
In test after test I determined to show therapists “I’m still here,  I’m okay!”
After months of outpatient therapy, I began to feel mad.
However as in the film:
“The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter’s temperature]
I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

**Cheers!**

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Everyday is Like Ebay.

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“There’s alot of nice people in the world, be one of them.” – unknown

Just as a fortune cookie is  unpredictable  so is the world of online  bidding.

In a more recent interaction I saw  the glaring differences in the interactions you can have.

Interaction A) via stateside…

A girl takes a screenshot of my auction and posts it on her Facebook because I unknowingly used her picture.

Many messages of harassment and nastiness ensue from her and her friends.

It ends in me contacting ebay over the harassment and eventually pulling the auction.

Interaction B) via our neighbors from across “the pond.”

A girl simply retracts her bid after I ask her  to because shipping is too costly as I guessed it would be.

It ends in a resolution for both parties  and myself feeling like just shipping her the item for free 

Did I? Unfortunately I couldn’t because there was another bidder, otherwise I would have loved to.

The  gap  between these two interactions is wide.

One exchange left me feeling like giving out hugs, the other slugs.

The  reason is simple, whether it be in person or online the way you treat someone reflects you  and determines the results you’ll receive.

This is obvious as it’s something most Mothers and Sunday schools tell you.

However, even so rarely do I see that difference  in interactions so close together.

They were nearly back to back!

One girl had me highly frustrated while the other made me just want to give her the$150.00 Spirithood( the auction at hand)

Although it should be obvious to treat people well, for some it isn’t.

I’m adverse to being identified as a hippie, but on this theology I can agree.

Because of the difference in attitudes of  these two ladies it caused me to see the differences and thus inspired me to write about it.

This micro event can easily reflect the bigger picture, which is: “you get what you give.”

  There is no reason to spread darkness, only light, even if your having a bad time.

Be kind to others as you don’t know the battle they’re fighting.”  -unknown

The reason this seemingly meaningless interaction meant so much was because  I was having a bad time, a very bad time making kindness all the more meaningful, even thru a computed message.

Cheers!

bleu

Standing on a soapbox.

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                                   “Dying is easy,it’s living thats hard.” -unknown

I find this statement to be quite true at times.

Not just for me but for everyone on this earth.

Anyone can get on a soapbox with a bullhorn.

Except few people can command attention with it,despite their cries of indignation.

Through circumstance I have been given that authority,

likewise ,“With great power comes great responsibility,” as said by Stan Lee.

Through unexpected,and unplanned circumstances I’ve found myself primed for a soapbox.However small the audience,each person matters.The question begging an answer is,now that I’m here, what do I have to say?

While driving along to a concert with my family a thought occurred to me;Attempting to describe any singular great experience is akin to trying to fit music and the entirety of feelings it encompasses into a box.

Besides such an act seeming impossible, at times so has my recovery.

However, I have some good news it’s not impossible.My hopes besides a full recovery are to demonstrate what’s been given to me to others similarly in need of their own recipe to bring them through their troubles.No one person can fulfill this because its something we have to find on our own however other people, like the Cheshire Cat(Alice in Wonderland),can certainly help point the way.

Which direction will you choose? Well, that depends on which cat you encounter.

The best kind are positive,follow through with what they say,and are able to properly demonstrate love.

It is in love that I recommend blocking out the negative things of this world,

especially when faced with an important mission.

It is not enough to simply be alive, but to also actively live your life and share that lust for life with others.Because were all in this boat together.

Overall it has been these types of people that have built a human chain of sorts that has brought me through.

Humanity is like a chain link fence,were all together as one, if any link be weak,strengthen it.

How do you help the weak link? Just as you would a metal fence,build it back up.

Be it with words,inspiration,a hug,some physical help,or whatever the method it’s important to do it.

***When I was living in New York City I saw that negativity could spread throughout people almost like a cancer and physically exhaust you.

Now that I have been able to look back into it like a snow globe after returning from the brink of death,my hope is to be an inspiration,not only thru actions but in,interactions as well.

Each one of us is a walking,living story, in order to let other people read your book, you have to show them.

Nonetheless I am determined that where I’m headed is nowhere near where I came from.

 

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Changing Seasons…

Recently I sold my beloved Vespa…(see below)

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Photo:2011 Upper East Side Manhattan after working a day at Memorial Sloan Kettering.

Credit:my friend Lesly!

I had dreamed of living in NYC and owning a Vespa since I was 16 years old,when I got both,realizing that,  I  cried.

As the story goes after 3 years of living in my favorite city I suffered a massive stroke which has sent me packing to recover in Michigan

Fearing I had lost everything,the reason my Vespa became ever more important to me was because it now symbolized dreams reached and possibly my dreams lost….

-BUT-

After a couple  of buyers inquired on it because now not being able to ride it and owing more on it than it was  worth I needed something I could use.Now the Vespa symbolized NYC,the freedom I had,my hard work&dreams,lots of good memories,and not to mention it is beautiful as seen below ha-ha

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So instead since the funds from it were used to buy a new computer,it seems only fitting  to in turn use it to further write my story and of course  this isn’t goodbye forever  just for now.

As the song goes for everything there is a season

 

 

I’m just looking forward to my Summer returning and little by little it is !so far  one thing that has returned is Blogcademy NYC  I missed the class but this weekend I’ll be going to Blogcademy Chicago! AND for free!  Because  I  won a scholarship,so it did return and even better……

 

 

 

 

There will certainly be more things to come and perhaps even better!

In parting    “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.,

**Cheers!**

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The Giving Circle.

circle It is believed that when you give it comes back to you and sometimes ten fold…..well  if that is the case then I have some good news for you,it does!

image  Recently I received  a porcelain Tiffany box wrapped inside a larger Tiffany’s gift box

The funny thing is…….

Not too long ago I nabbed a Tiffany’s  gift box from a co-worker,which I then gave away with a gift inside  for my Aunt at Christmas,partly because I needed a box to wrap and partly because I knew She may never have Her own Tiffany’s box,especially since you have to have a purchase  inside to even leave the store with one….

Even though I would have liked to keep it I chose to give it away, but!

More recently lo and behold that box returned to me even better (porcelain) and guess what!?

In yet another Tiffany’s box so now I have two.

Another example could   also be the time I gave  $50.00 to church,then later won $500.00  (Hello ten-fold)

I also won a scholarship to Blogcademy Chicago…….A blog post on that soon too!

 

 

In  conclusion,in my experience,Things come back and usually quite sweetly.

**keep up  hope &a giving soul**

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The Road to Recovery…

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On October 12th of 2012 in upstate Newyork  at the age of 28 I had  a massive stroke out of nowhere,but now a little over a year of  recovery time,I am in therapy on a weekly basis,its been a hard road…We put a years worth of miles on our car in half the time…

There are several types of therapies to keep you moving…

 

  1. Physical Therapy
  2. Occupational Therapy
  3. Massage Therapy(which dealt with getting nerves to wake up again)this was considered to be an alternative therapy
  4. Suit Therapy-which is typically for children with Cerebral Palsy but helps to activate
  5. Speech underused muscles 6. Speech TherapySincemy discharge from Inpatient Rehab(all 64 days of it…) I have been on a weekly schedule of therapy and Doctor visits,which at first were arduous,but now have become routine as I make my way back into some normalcy in what as been a  very irregular and difficult time period in my life thus far,now all I can do is continue to work,persevere,and keep hope.Never has the saying “One day at a time been more relevant,as well as the term ‘Patience of a Saint’  While  recovering and  being less independent I have had to learn how to be patient and wait for nearly everything, which has probably been  one of the larger  changes,coming from being a fiercely independent woman….
  6. Barwis Method is ran by College    Football Strength&Conditioning Coach,legendary Mike Barwis out of Plymouth,Michigan, the training facility consists of an area for weights and modified workout machines(built by personal specifications according to Mike) as well as an indoor field,He physically challenges athletes and laymen alike and of all physical rehab I have done his is my favorite.These days Mike is a hard guy to catch as He builds a new  center and more recently has begun filming on American Muscle,soon to be on  the Discovery Channel.I have been lucky to meet this forward thinking trainer,not to mention a person that like most rather than being self focused chooses to take time to help others.

A poem upon parting……

One ship drives East,
and another drives West,
With the self-same winds that blow;
Tis the set of the sails, and not the gales,
Which tells us the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate,
As we voyage along through life;
Tis the set of the soul that decides its goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

XO   **BLEU**

 

 

 

 

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