Posts Tagged ‘help’

I get By

AskingForHelp

We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” -Orson Welles.

With an over two month inpatient hospital stay and constant therapy or doctor appointments upon discharge, my social life was dead on arrival. Not to mention I was practically on house arrest, not being able to drive anywhere. This just added to the great sadness that plagued me; a culmination of living upside down in a world that was not of my choosing. This “new world,”  lacked the independence I had once known prior to the stroke,  possessed no social life, and  had way too much parental supervision for my liking.  I often found myself alone making up things to keep busy and to keep sane. Luckily,  growing up as an only child provided sufficient training for such circumstances.  Living in  a constantly moving world and being so unusually busy myself, friends were a rare sight. However, despite all of the hurdles there are those wonderful souls who have stepped forward and really offered their time and support. These humans are what I like to call rare birds, that stand out in an overwhelming flock of conformity and status quo. They are colorful when things are dull, different when things are uniform, and most of all  compassionate. I’m happy that  along  life’s rocky road  I picked up these hitchhikers and can call them my friends.

Whats more, these  passengers I have  procured aren’t the type to bail out as soon as the car breaks down. Instead of looking for another ride, they patiently wait and help me while I try to fix  mine. For years now it is on these little pebbles  of good moments that have  added up to create a road  I am able  to move forward on.  It’s not only  good company, but it serves as therapy too!  It has improved my soul, AND aided in the recovery of my brain. Therefore, these rare birds  are certainly more then just flights of fancy. They also serve as part time therapists and free of charge no less! You can’t beat that. It  is often that when life beats you down  that  these birds will rise up to meet and surprise you with their goodness. Because, it is when you find yourself in the dark that you need to be reminded of the light. This was(and is) especially true in my case and perhaps yours too. It seems the things we need most will find us when we least expect it.

cheers!

bleu
 

Life Boat

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“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?”

― Scott Turow, Ordinary Heroes.

Stories of triumph, stories of success, and stories of dreams coming true. These are the kinds of tales that keep us alive and keep us going. For me, these stories were a life boat in the middle of a dark and stormy ocean. The stories you and I tell ourselves make a tremendous impact on how we feel and in which direction we go. The difference between a good story and a bad one can  put into motion either success or failure When every avenue seemed bleak, I could always pull  positive stories from my memory library to serve as an escape. My current life circumstances(post stroke) were a sinking ship of titanic proportions. However, reaching back into my memory banks, I could pull a story from a happier time. Without these invisible books I was headed for the bottom gasping for air, another casualty of life’s  bad circumstances.  While these books seem imaginary, the life lines they offer are very real. These stories told me I could accomplish my dreams as I had before, that the impossible was possible(as possible is part of the word itself) and gave me a reason to get up in the morning rather then languish in bed. A good story will motivate you and give you confidence, while a bad one will take away all of your hope. Do you suppose that the  legends of our time told themselves stories of failure?  I’m certain it was just the opposite! I posit they reassured themselves that their mountains could be conquered. In this way we need to do the same thing. Whatever your goal, tell yourself that you can and then  pull examples of all your past successes. The longer you ruminate on past or current(perceived or real) failures, the longer you’ll remain in unwanted circumstances. By dwelling you effectively anchor yourself in shallow waters. Therefore, use positive stories to  put  the wind  in your sails and venture to deeper waters. It is there you’ll find more to explore and myriad possibilities. Furthermore, surround yourself with people that add to the positive stories rather than help anchor you in shallow waters.

row, row, row your boat,

bleu

My Generation

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MnDbWqe_kQ&w=420&h=315%5D

 

“With faith, discipline and selfless devotion to duty, there is nothing worthwhile that you cannot achieve.” -Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Each generation wants to think they’re better  than the last. It’s  at the point when you start seriously noticing the differences between your generation and subsequent  ones  that  it makes you feel old. Well, my friends  I guess I’m “old.”   I’m considered part of the annoying  millennial generation, which has been watched by the world most of our lives. However, as a millennial  I have noticed some things about the yet to be officially named generation of current 20- somethings. Not to be confused with baby boomers, the millennial  generation as well as  current 20- somethings  could easily  fall under the  same umbrella, the “Me Generation.”  With the rise of social media, apps that do  almost everything, and new technologies,  self absorption has never been easier. Unfortunately, along with self absorption comes  a lack of ambition, laziness, and a  near complete disregard for other people. It’s far too easy to think(and talk, and Instagram, and Snapchat,and Facebook)  about yourself all day, rather than more outwardly consider the rest of the world around you. Therefore, if you are an individual that hasn’t been  brainwashed by social media, get out there, do something, and help someone other than yourself! I promise it feels really good to help someone else. This leads into the question of “ Would we be more fulfilled if we helped each other more?” Not only would a movement of selflessness  make our lives more enriching, but collectively easier. If we were able to count on someone other than ourselves it would lead to a lot  less stress and a lot more breathing room. Having less stress means less physical ailments and even  many  diseases!  Everyone wins. We don’t have to imagine a world like this when we easily have the  power to start  a  movement like this today. All it takes is one person and one  act of selflessness , simply just do it , and help start a chain reaction of kindness, love, and helping.

step out!

bleu

 
 
 

This belongs to me.

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“I think developed countries – so-called developed countries – should reflect upon the way of living and the waste of energy.”- Hugo Chavez.

Just so you know, ownership is an illusion. Because, we can’t take anything with us when this life reaches its final chapter. Therefore, this means you are pretty much a custodian of inanimate objects. The question is, how big of a  custodian job do you want? The more stuff you have the bigger the burden. So much of our time(and life) gets eaten up by working for, shopping for, and paying for said items, and then taking care of it all! After  I nearly  died these inanimate objects lost nearly all their value to me. I began not only going through the loads of things   I owned but also giving away and selling much of it. I no longer found  as much value in  objects as I once had.  Simply put, you assign value to things, they don’t assign value to you. Our culture is unbelievably wasteful to the point of insanity. I still marvel at the hoards of things that occupy giant shopping malls. What happens to it all? Where does it all go?   Furthermore, do we  really need any of it!?   Just watch the video below. Also, avoid regular trips to Forever 21, H&M, and the website Modcloth.com!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI1vlX7OdLM&w=560&h=315%5D

A designer purse will not make you happier, just as  no inanimate object was going to restore the  physical functions I nearly lost in my body. Therefore,  I saw no point in becoming a collector of things that would only burden me. At some point I even questioned a bewildered friend, what the point of saving money was. Since it really didn’t  serve me at the time or hold as much value anymore. When you  nearly lose everything,   lets just say your perspective changes a bit. The continual dance  that people do, to obtain and maintain essentially useless objects became   very unnecessary to me. Instead of petitioning for a better environment, perhaps we should quit dumping tons of unnatural materials into the  Earth.  Our time would be better spent on experiences that create incredible memories, rather than objects  that cause us grief.  Additionally we could use our resources to help another person either financially or with our time. Now that is something very worth doing!

Go minimal!

bleu

Help

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“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?”

-Brian Tracy.

Sometimes We can’t do everything and have to humble ourselves. After  a lifetime of being stubborn and independent, having to ask for so much help was altogether humbling and produced a great patience in me. Before I was injured I did everything when and how I wanted to. However, in the hospital and after I had to have assistance and help with nearly everything. Not only was I not used to asking for help but it was painful having to wait so long(or seemingly) for everything. I even needed help to cut my own nails! I have never been all that patient, but now I had no choice but to be patient and gracious when things weren’t done how I’d normally prefer them.  It was not only difficult having to ask and then wait, but it made me feel set back as well. We live in a “I want it now,” society. Therefore, waiting  to do anything(especially everyday tasks) was excruciating. We all need help sometimes, but never to this extent.   To ask for so much help was not only humbling but a great teacher of patience.  Imagine having to wait  to do what you want, when you never really had to. The experience of this was not only a lesson but highlighted the fact that  We are definitely spoiled by convenience. Most of all  in my times of need little human Angels popped up everywhere. This was not only a lesson in patience and humility, but community too. We all need each other more than you realize. In fact after being put into such a situation, it was clear to me that we’d all be better  off if society valued the servant roles as much as the master roles. In our pursuit for control we  miss out on the beauty of a shared human experience. How much easier  and full of love would life be, if We all helped each other rather than only ourselves? After being in a place of so much need I now understand the importance of serving and helping others. I actually look  out  for and forward to opportunities to help someone. As well as look back at the times I had them and didn’t. To share in the life and joys of another, even a stranger is more fulfilling than living selfishly. For each person that went out of their way for me, they made my day better and it was done  for no personal gain. All  of these small acts of kindness are woven into a larger tapestry that creates our experience of humanity, and  all of humanity is better when We share it.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWP6Qki8mWc&w=420&h=315%5DIt’s a lesson I wish I would’ve learned sooner than later. For, had that happened I would have spent so much more time sharing my life with others who needed help at that moment. In doing so and giving of yourself, you gain so much more than what you give. Don’t wait too long to realize this but the sooner you begin the better!

Go, Angel Go!

bleu

Blank Slate

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Having a blank slate is sometimes as daunting as it is exciting.”     -Joe Madureira.

So, what are you going to do next? I think  we all ask ourselves this, especially at the beginning of a new year. I was asked this after completing a large goal that I had  dreamed up many months prior to actually completing it. At the time I   could only figure   I’d keep striving and move forward to yet an even larger goal, a complete recovery. After the ball dropped in Times Square New York  and cheers erupted around me, I finally found my answer to that question. While I certainly  fulfilled a day dream by walking across the Brooklyn Bridge(see here!)  at the same time I  accomplished something even larger. I didn’t realize this until the clock struck twelve and 2016 was ushered in  with champagne that I had my  answer. Any goals that I have set and met were years in the making and a concerted effort.  Even more important than    my daydreams is all the wisdom and strength I have garnered by pushing through and past the many struggles I have faced. Each new idea was but a spark that eventually caused a forest fire in the landscape of my mind. I  also could not have  fulfilled these goals without the helping hands of friends, family, and  generous strangers. Each of their  hands  joined to create a bridge I could walk across to reach the other side. Oftentimes those goals involved independence and things people take for granted everyday. The ability of having freedom of physical movement,walking, social skills, and many simple activities of daily living. Each of your accomplishments   are the result of a concerted effort as well. Without the support of others many of us would still be at the starting line of the race. Entering  this new year it will be best spent continuing on the journey of moving forward, and if I’m lucky in this new year that bridge of hands will  still be there.

make a bridge for others!

bleu

How

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“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.”

-Albert Schweitzer.

 

We have a problem with matching our thanks to the level of the gift given. Oftentimes we  feel that We cannot fully reciprocate or convey  gratitude properly, when were given something  big(see here!)or a priceless  act of kindness.  I’ve not only received  loads of physical help, but also  the gift of a nice meal out, gifts of someone’s time, and help from kind strangers.  Among these  have been the gifts that are priceless and bear no  feasible value. It’s when someone gives a part of their life in order to make yours better, that requires an  acknowledgement  that  it seems we cannot

match. Is a  thank you card sufficient? A hug, a gift card, a favor, a nice dinner perhaps? No, none of these will do, because the best thank you is to live fully and well. The reason  this is sufficient is because when someone pours themselves into you, pour all that you can of yourself back into  your life. People help in these priceless ways because they sincerely want to see you triumph in life. My friends, family, and some strangers didn’t give  of their time and money when I was in an ICU to witness me die, but to  see me survive and thrive.  Of course, when someone gives from their heart they don’t expect or even want something in return. However, the   best and only way  I can thank them is to live well. The life that they put into me deserves to be  given a return. This return on investment can be achieved if I  put my spirit into achieving my dreams and living the life they want to see me have. Because of what they’ve given me, I will not quit, give up, or waste any of thier priceless gifts. Therefore, thank those that have given to you by living well and enjoying each day you have, because as I learned  you never know when those days could end.

work on your dreams!

bleu

 

Happy Holidays

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“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”      -Dalai Lama

“ So this is Christmas and what have you done?” asks a pensive  John Lennon in his song also known as Happy Xmas(War  is Over.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN4Uu0OlmTg&w=420&h=315%5D

With the upcoming holidays and the world on the brink of what seems like another war, this 1963 song seems eerily relevant today. Around the globe the coming of the new year is met with  holiday celebrations and the symbolism of a fresh start. Instead of looking back, consider the future rather then harbor any regrets,  and instead make up your mind to change them  as you move forward. The impending holidays also bring to the forefront of people’s minds the spirit of  altruism. While We can’t all spend our days giving 100% of ourselves to charity, We can at least vow to be a  positive influence on ourselves and others, rather then a  negative one. As humans it’s all too easy to be self centered, and our  selfishly motivated decisions can sometimes hurt others.  What many people don’t fully realize is that in helping others you actually help yourself too. Therefore in giving you’re also receiving, it’s a win-win situation! As  the new year brings with it renewed motivation for personal goals, why not with it a new vision? A vision that is geared more towards equality, peace, positivity, and altruism. The consideration We have for the good of mankind should be in the forefront more then once a year, or  only reserved for when a tragedy strikes. The  larger question that looms is  “Can  these  things be brought about  on a regular basis, rather then just by Santa Claus or  new year resolutions?” The good news is that you don’t have to wait for someone else to answer this question, because you can. Each of us has a choice everyday rather then just once a year to   pursue  dreams, set new goals, be a positive influence , and  to help others. Don’t just meet each new year with  zest and motivation but how about each new day?

Tomorrow is new   and cheers!

bleu

 

Love is all You Need

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                                 “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”

― John Lennon.

Through what has been a harrowing  journey, I think  one of the many bigger  things I have  learned is that  if you have a choice, when you choose love you can’t lose.

As you probably already know, we are all  connected like  the synapses of our brains, paper chain dolls, and even the cosmos. Much like them we too, shine on.

I rarely like to ask for things, but plainly put,(Donate button on the right please) I need your help fellow humans.

This request stems from  my journey in learning how to walk again  from being  half paralyzed.Early on in rehab, I used to pretend I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge(not an indoor track  rife with grandmas and grandpas)for motivation. However as I have gotten better, regained my balance, and amped up my determination I want to make this daydream a reality. Because  when things are bad you can push through them to the  other side. As a demonstration of this I want to walk all 1.1 miles of the bridge with friends and family to celebrate life, raise  stroke awareness,and inspire others to cross their own bridges in life My hope is to do it in the Fall, but if funds won’t allow it will have to  wait.Thus, if you will  each raise up your hands, I could crowd surf safely across them to  the stage.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3qvosHHcWc&w=560&h=315%5D

Love&Cheers,

bleu

Hope Floats

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Sometimes it’s fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney

As if hope were a life jacket to keep you from drowning in sorrows,even when your knocked unconscious it brings you to the surface where you will be rescued.
Over a year ago I was going to drown.I have not seen the movie of this same blog title.However, the concept rings very true.Before I was given a glimpse of some real hope I was unconscious, sinking closer and closer to the ocean floor.Once hope arrived it gave me a life jacket.Now I have steadily been floating back up to the surface where I will be awaiting my rescue.I have decided since being rescued myself to go to school for aspiring lifeguards.While I have been on the shore looking out over the sea,I have seen others drowning or at risk and I’d like to offer a buoy.From the depths of the great unknown it’s possible to surface for some air and get more understanding.Were all swimming towards the shore and with the safety of hope we’ll certainly get there faster and not to mention safer.

**Cheers friends**

bleu