“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”
― Roman Payne.
I am not the sole creator or proprietor of my own life. For example, my Mothergave me a creativenature, my Father a strong work ethic, friends helped me learn some life lessons along the way, and my intelligence was(is) God given. Therefore, I am not merely one thing, but many pieces that create a whole. However, I am certainly responsible for which direction I head in, but I cannot take all the credit. It’s actually difficult to pick one singular direction because life offers so many. It’s as if we’re perpetually at afive way street crossing, or fork in the road. This is compounded by the fact that we have so many different parts to us. This is what happens when you exist in a worldthat contains many different outside influences. It is neither small norclosed off, but in fact it is endless! Since we are made up of so many aspects, why then,do we only live for ourselves?To be selfless over selfish is more rewarding and beneficial. It has even been shown in nature, that the most selfish creatures are less likely to survive. Apparently this didn’t cross over too much into human existence, or so it seems. However, if youpay attention it absolutely did! People and societies that exhibit high levels of selfishness, often don’t do as well, and are least liked. On alarge scaleit would make sense if the world were moregiving(and forgiving) but even more so on a personal level weneed to be more giving(and forgiving) to one another. After all, it has to start somewhere. Not to mention, each large and obvious movement(be it physical or societal) begins as a small quiet seemingly invisibleaction. A sweep of your arm is first triggered by tiny signalsin the neurons of your brain. What you eventually see and feelphysically, starts out somewhere unseen. The sameapplies to social movements, dreams, and hopes that you have for the future.Therefore, go forward with confidence and be the change that you want to see in the world andin your own life.
“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”
This song has been haunting me, echoing through my mind like a voice down an empty hallway. We have all been “lost boys,” at one point or another. Whether we’re lonely, trying to find our way, or just plain old mischievous and freeofobligations. The funny thing is, the lost boys actually had a large group of friends, yet were still considered lost.
Perhaps you too have been part of a crowd but still felt like you didn’t quite belong. I first heard the song wafting over theradio airwaves on a dark night time drive, and again at abeautiful dance recital that was punctuated with thefeeling of endings(a last dance for High School Senior students. I love music because it has a way of expressing andrelating nearly everyemotion throughit’ssonic landscape. Ialways said when I died I wanted to become a music note. As amusical note I could weave in and out of space and be emitted overwaves of sound. As well as touch people’s hearts. When you’re a music note youressentially immortal and always a part of something beautiful. Of course we can’t talk about Peter Pan withoutmentioning Captain Hook. What is yourpersonal Captain Hook? Because we all have one. He comes in the form ofopposition, negativity, and hardships. When we’re looking to find our way and having hope for a future each of us becomes a “lost boy.” Then, we grow up much to our chagrin and the tribe of lost boys scatters. No longer do you have that adolescent camaraderie and sense of adventure. As the world becomes less new and your feetchange sizes, so does our reality and the people in it. Suddenly adult obligations or responsibilities begin to seep into and take apartthe tribe of lost boys.However, the invisible thread that at once connected us is always there. We may grow and change but our hearts and spiritsremain largely the same. Sometimes the wind will carry a tune to my ear or a familiar smell to my nose andgently remind me of my tribe. Although they’re scattered about I know that their stillthere. Having a stroke has displaced me as a lone tribe member looking for the path to our hideout in the woods. As I wander I keep an eye out for it to emerge once again from the shrouded trees. Dear friend, may We all discover that path and find our way back to belonging.
“If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.”
So, why did you grow up?As kids, we were all in a hurry to be a “grown up.” Anticipating staying up as late as we wanted and eating ice cream for breakfast. However, once we got there it turned out that eating healthy and getting regular sleep was more sensible. What happened to our freedom of choice as grown ups? Even more so, where did that childhood wonder run off to? The World played itshand in eking out most of it from us through time. Those of us that managed to hold on to some of it, flourished inour levels of happiness and were called “easily amused.” The presence of an overactive imagination and silly sense of humor faded out with our dislike for taking baths. As those traits began to fade, we acquired new ones of stress and responsibility. With the age of a grown up finally reached and all the new freedoms, why did we restrict ourselves!? Did the popular opiniontosway towards being boring come from jealousy?Perhaps the majority was envious of the minority who managed to retain some of that magicalchildhoodspunk.The world is far easier to navigate if you canmanage to evade the sinister stress monster or find the magic in the mundane. Bothof which are qualities we had as children that the jealous world attempted to rob usof. How could we let this happen? Generations have come and gone having forgotten about their childhood dreams. Didn’t anyone get the memo that we’re allowed to do whatever we want now!?While unfortunately you do have to conform to the World’s system, you don’t have to conform to its mindset. Try to find that stubbornlittle kid inside anddon’tfear the path of resistance. Most will choose the path of least resistance, which usually leads nowhere all that wonderful. We may have beenforced or in a hurry to grow up, but this is one instance where being behindis actually beneficial.
As the young Will Smith sang“Parents just don’t understand.”
While 16 year old me agreed with that, I actually felt that way not too long ago.
When I was first taken to my parents home for recovery I was highly agitated about it.
I even accused them of kidnapping me!
However, after one day when I was particularly mean to my Mum(i.e taking it out on Her) I began to think that maybe it’s ME that doesn’t understand…
After all they want the same thing I do, which is ultimately to get my life back.
As teens we all despised our own parents at one point or another and I found myself feeling that way again.
Although at the time I failed to take into account that they’re just people too.
We all were struggling with how to deal in the midst of this tragedy(see here.)
After I thought about it more and reminded myself that we were all working towards the same goal, it helped lessen the frustrations.
Because, you know they’re just humans too.
In fact they were a pair of rock n’ roll kids who basically ran away from home together at the age of 18 or so.
See the awesome “professional picture” of them below from the 1980’s which is my favorite. Many a visitor to my NewYork apartment marveled at it.
When it comes down to it between these two humans, I think they did a pretty good job in raising me. They truly love my sometimes crazy self.
In sum, who I am today has in a large part been due to my parents.
Whether it be due to age or trials and tribulations, I’m proud of who I am.
They helped me when I needed it, and even when I accuse them of kidnapping they still love me and your parents do too, so try and cut them a break once in awhile.