Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Fish Guts

So yes, I tend to spill my guts a lot, in a nice big messy pile on display for bystanders to see. Why? Am I an exhibitionist? Am I a masochist? Do I enjoy committing social suicide? I am unsure. Am I too honest and open? yes, probably. While I don’t see it as a negative, one must be cautious. It seems there are many sides to the die, as Weezer attests to (12 sides and more!) and in relation to people you may not like or expect every side. I have learned not to trust so easily (unfortunate) because people are not very nice after all… I have learned a lot so far in my 27 years and mostly how important it is to guard your heart. People will rip it to shreds given the chance. I am weary of this, I am down trodden and tired of experiencing this in myself and observing it happening to others. How and why do people become so.. I’m not even sure one word can sum it up.. Selfish? Cruel? Immature? Self Centered? Judgmental? Pretentious? For me this is the ugly underbelly of human nature, sure I believe people are good to a point, but I meet, like each of you have, people from time to time that test this belief. I also realize that it seems all of humanity is lurching and groping for some sort of connection, answers, LOVE. When Lennon and McCartney penned the lyric “All you need is love” they were quite right. Its simple, its true. However we have made a mess of love. It seems to me I see a lot of empty souls wandering these streets and some of them have hurt me but I know, I know, I only feel sorry-for them and secondly for me.. because Ladies and Gentleman we are in a sad state. You are much more valuable than you can imagine. If you’ve ever been in an atmosphere of turmoil and then been lucky enough to experience one of harmony/caring/kindness then you know the difference. If not, I’m sorry, your one of the many who needs to experience a revolution. One in thinking, in atmosphere. People are lonely; dissatisfied. Why? What’s filling your void? We’ve all got one and at least for me I know what fills it. Love. This can come in many forms. Don’t buy what the world is selling. Find your worth, it will change your life. Don’t give up even if people seem to keep pushing you down, after all, the night is darkest before the dawn. (and yes I stole that from The Dark Knight)


Now please, try and treat each other better.

Honesty is the best policy…

Not to be a Debbie Downer but a few if not a lot of questions have plagued me from time to time since I settled into Ny…
I am close with many people in my family and friends that I left behind in Michigan… at least I hope none of them feel I “left” them… anyway… I just saw an opening in the road to fulfill a long time daydream of mine and decided to take the chance. So far besides having a ridiculously nice apartment just fall into my lap as well as an amazing job/opportunity (not without much hard work of course) I do feel I was led here for one reason or another and I haven’t quite figured what that reason is yet. I miss my cousins (aka the closest to siblings I will ever have or want!) badly, my parents and best friend(s). I struggle with thoughts of feeling bad for not being around or participating more in their paths of growing ever taller and older.  I am not sure when I will be done with N.Y. … I never had a plan here, I just came.. jobless with little money and only a guarantee of a room to reside in, the rest I figured out along the way.. I’m still figuring it out. I am from time to time restless in thought and body.. I am a traveler at heart; an adventurer; a risk taker; (not always good) and I doubt that will ever wane from me. I always seem to learn the hard way (unintentional!) and dive right into the deep end, sink or swim. I can only hope this path leads somewhere on the up and up. Progress, thats all. At this point I am at the “What’s next?” and it feels slow and dragging. I aim to stay positive however and I generally am… I think a vacation is in order as soon as work allows. I need some space. Home is absolutely where the heart is. Where and who is your home?

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