There is no Multiverse, but there are multiple versions of you. Throughout your Life, within every person that’s been close with you, lives a version of you from that time period. Every version is different, and they culminate into the person you are in this moment. After I suffered a debilitating stroke, I wanted the versions of myself that lived in my friends minds to be what existed in the current physical realm. Therefore, I actually hid from some people, preferring to be the version that they remembered over the version of me that is. This sentiment crossed my mind again more recently upon the impending reunion with a long time friend. However, I pushed those notions away in favor of anticipation. Where I once wanted to stay hidden away in favor of a memory was no more. Because, I’ve realized staying stuck as the same version in someone’s mind correlates to being stuck in the here and now. There is no growth in that. Besides, with the right person you won’t be afraid to be yourself. Even if I was in a wheelchair, they could see me walking. Even though my left side may be currently paralyzed, they could see me moving fluidly. In fact, whatever the current physical reality was, they would see me. And, just the same, I would see them! That’s the beauty of knowing. It’s not that we have the ability to recall a preferred version of each other, but rather that we can see each other through whatever version we are currently inhabiting. The ability to do this with one another is not only true authenticity, but it’s what creates a safe place. It is a space in which we can be messy. A place in which we can be vulnerable. A place in which we can truly share a laugh. Furthermore, one in which, failure is okay and successes are celebrated. My wish is not to be an old version of myself that is remembered by someone, but to be brave enough to shatter that memory and replace it with who I am today. More importantly I hope to always have people in my Life that I can do that with, and I hope you do too!
Posts Tagged ‘friends’
“Love is a strange emotion. It is ever evolving. Lust is transient. With time, one realizes that love and togetherness are two different things. Very few people are lucky enough to experience the two emotions simultaneously.” -Randeep Hooda.
Happy Holidaze everyone! I hope today’s blog finds you swell. If there’s one thing people enjoy during this bustling time of year, it’s unity and community. However, my inquiry is, why make this an annual event? While the Christmas season is important, aren’t the people you love special 365 days of the year? One of the important lessons that nearly dying has brought me is that time is of the essence. While I was in ICU in a coma, unbeknownst to anyone my Father had been listening to a voicemail of me singing him happy birthday, and when He thought He had accidentally deleted it He sobbed, thinking He might never hear my voice again. That story was so touching, I am now utterly joyful to sing him happy birthday every year that I’m with him. That little tidbit only reveals the kind of heart that our immediate loved ones have toward us.
You can easily fill up your days with tasks, but you cannot create more days on the calendar. Therefore, besides the things you have to do to live in this wild world, try to fill your free time with things that are meaningful. Because our existence on this plane should help us to grow as people. You can’t do that with your face stuck in social media! I advise some face time away from the screen with people that help you grow. As difficult as some people are to deal with, deal with them because the challenge they present actually helps you. Understand that other people are like water that rushes around you and shapes who you are. This happens in nature as well when rocks are reshaped by the river running around them. The different currents result in varying shapes, just like different people you encounter shape you. Lest we forget, the water never breaks the rocks down, only reshapes them. If you’re running into people that tear you down rather then build you up, jump into another river! After all, life is too short to spend it with toxic people. If I’m going to go out, I’d rather go out with a bang then be a slowly smoldering heap of dark smoke. When you spend time with healthy individuals, they will exert light into your life and thus you’ll go out with a bang rather then a dull thud.
I get By
We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” -Orson Welles.
With an over two month inpatient hospital stay and constant therapy or doctor appointments upon discharge, my social life was dead on arrival. Not to mention I was practically on house arrest, not being able to drive anywhere. This just added to the great sadness that plagued me; a culmination of living upside down in a world that was not of my choosing. This “new world,” lacked the independence I had once known prior to the stroke, possessed no social life, and had way too much parental supervision for my liking. I often found myself alone making up things to keep busy and to keep sane. Luckily, growing up as an only child provided sufficient training for such circumstances. Living in a constantly moving world and being so unusually busy myself, friends were a rare sight. However, despite all of the hurdles there are those wonderful souls who have stepped forward and really offered their time and support. These humans are what I like to call rare birds, that stand out in an overwhelming flock of conformity and status quo. They are colorful when things are dull, different when things are uniform, and most of all compassionate. I’m happy that along life’s rocky road I picked up these hitchhikers and can call them my friends.
Whats more, these passengers I have procured aren’t the type to bail out as soon as the car breaks down. Instead of looking for another ride, they patiently wait and help me while I try to fix mine. For years now it is on these little pebbles of good moments that have added up to create a road I am able to move forward on. It’s not only good company, but it serves as therapy too! It has improved my soul, AND aided in the recovery of my brain. Therefore, these rare birds are certainly more then just flights of fancy. They also serve as part time therapists and free of charge no less! You can’t beat that. It is often that when life beats you down that these birds will rise up to meet and surprise you with their goodness. Because, it is when you find yourself in the dark that you need to be reminded of the light. This was(and is) especially true in my case and perhaps yours too. It seems the things we need most will find us when we least expect it.
Love is a Shore Thing
“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” -Louisa May Alcott.
The Jersey Shore is a testament to resilience, community, and triumph. It is a place that was nearly destroyed and its residents run off after Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Yet today it still stands strong and as beautiful as ever. Just as the ocean waves rushed in causing destruction, the residents have returned and rebuilt. Within the borders of the beach you’ll find a community of close knit families, tourists, and friends. Just as the towns along the shore have survived and are thriving, so are these relationships. In fact I enjoyed a week in Lavallette New Jersey at the shore because of one of these relationships. It is one that like the shore itself, has withstood the tests of time and the battering ram of a horrific hurricane. In this case it was with long time and much loved friends that have been with me since before the massive stroke. Anything that can withstand such an event deserves recognition. Because, stories of victory are few and far between outside of superhero movies.However, there are plenty of real life superhero stories. They give us hope, they give us strength, and remind us of why we keep on going. Therefore, we need to hear even more stories like these. Surrounded by the newly rebuilt homes and beautiful beach front, I observed a community that rallied together and rose up under the East Coast sun. There was life, laughter, and plenty of love coursing through the streets that were once threatened with total destruction. It reminded me that even though life may put us through unsuspected and seemingly insurmountable circumstances, we can still emerge on the other side of them just as strong. Indeed we can emerge even stronger than before! They refine us like the ocean waves smooth out rough rocks and bits of glass. The relationships that survive the storms with us are like little protective cacoons of love. Just as we become stronger because of the storm, so do they. While it’s difficult to find any thankfulness for these life storms, I am thankful for the aftermath. These storms leave survivors stronger, with wisdom, and highlighting the love we sometimes forget exists.
*This post was inspired by my best friends*
Stretching out over many miles and through space and time there exists invisible threads that hold us together. What is it that keeps us close despite time and distance? There are those places in the heart reserved for a special unforgettable few. If you’re lucky those few will be many. It never ceases to amaze me that even if far away someone can have a profound emotional impact on us. This holds true for you too, and for those of you that have experienced your heart shift inside of your chest, or a tear has welled up in your eye because of the impact of another person on your particular piece of the world. This bond seems to only be strengthened by the shared experience of trauma. When we go through inexorable circumstances, be it with friends or family, those invisible bonds become solidified. Because, when you come across those who willingly(and happily)hold you up during life’s disasters your more then happy to never let those storms steal them away from your heart. In fact surviving a disaster together only brings us closer! Without the darkness and shadows that life sometimes presents us with, we couldn’t then see the sunshine and light in life. The shadow proves the sunshine. It is because of those dark moments that our light ones are able to shine even brighter. Within the light we’ll find those unforgettable few. They inhabit the depths of our hearts, the caverns of our memories, and remain on the other end of our invisible thread. After suffering the event of almost dying and losing it all, I have gained and found more love then I ever knew previously. Nearly all of this love came from the people on the other end of those invisible threads. They were always there it just took an act of darkness to bring them to light. A bigger tragedy than what actually happened is that I didn’t see them sooner, and so many of us don’t. Therefore, even though the threads are invisible, when you slow life down enough to consider it, they will become more clear to you. Don’t go too fast and miss them.
“To the world you may just be someone, but to someone you may be the whole world.”
It’s strange and sometimes emotional when I unexpectedly(or expectantly)stumble across objects from my life in New York City. Essentially, while I was in a coma(not knowing if I would live)friends and family packed up my belongings and my apartment. So there I was out of commission and my life(hanging in the balance)packed away into numerous boxes. They made the trek from New York, to New Jersey,and then Michigan. While I eventually followed them. From time to time, I will be doing something and randomly see or find something that used to live in my New York apartment. With each object I find,it opens up the flood gate of memories. I can remember when I bought it,where it was from,what I did that day,and see it in it’s place in my apartment. Every object holds a story. Since my life has taken a radical turn, these objects afford me the feelings that I imagine a true explorer gets. When my eyes and fingers touch upon an object from my life before the massive stroke, I feel like an Alien discovering something from a past civilization,of a time gone by. This is because the situation I’m in now seems so unreal. Although the objects are not foreign to me,in some way they are. Why? Because before I was completely unaware of the reality that I’m enduring now. This has given me the point of view of an outsider. When I’m holding something in my hand(or gaze) I can actually take it in as if it weren’t mine. Leaving me to see it in a new way. In the way that an explorer might see something and wonder what kind of life it once had. Although I know the life of my own belongings, I miss the girl that bought them. I’ve been in what seems like an alternate universe for the past two years. I’ve been working on bringing that girl back from the other universe. I remember everything,but even so I worry I’ll forget. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be able to walk freely,tie a shoe,run,jump,and generally be able to control my body. Those objects remind me of the girl I used to be(physically)and I want Her back. I even think back to how oblivious I was to the struggles I now face(and have) wishing I could somehow eke out some of those feelings back into the present. How fortunate I was to be unaware of the things I know now! Those objects hold this other universe within them. I wonder what I would do if I had known then, what I know now. Ah,yes it’s the age old question,and the answer is everything. We take so much for granted, that it’s so important to live and enjoy life as much as you can.
Social Media Savior
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”
― John Lennon.
While social media is a curse and a blessing, I’ve found it to be a blessing in my particular situation. Getting back on Facebook after I had disappeared for a year allowed me to update and get back in touch with the many friends I had missed. I received comments akin to “Oh thank God, when I saw you were back I was relieved!” As much as some despise social media it does serve a purpose. For me, it meant letting people know that I was okay after a huge accident. Without these interactions, I would have lost touch with quite a few people. This proved especially important since I was isolated in recovery and had seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth. This led me to contemplate what social media means to those people that find themselves isolated( as well,or home bound because of an illness. It could very well be their only means to a social life. For many(myself included) it’s a fishing line cast into an Ocean that is the world. The problem is, that it gives a false sense of connection without actually being “connected.” For this reason our cyber life needs to be balanced with real life interactions as well. Otherwise, it could actually achieve the opposite effect and make a person feel lonely. More recently I’ve hopped on the bandwagon that is Snapchat. Have you heard of this? Since I felt like the Glass Man in the film Amelie(watch the video below!)
Snapchat became like the pleasant little video that let me in on the lives of friends and the rest of the ”outside world.” Despite the merits of social media We mustn’t forget the person that’s behind the computer screen or on the other end of the keyboard. It’s all too easy to have many “friends,” but in actuality be alone.Therefore, pick up a phone,write a letter,hop on(or in) your transportation of choice and make a real connection. You might just find you enjoy the world of three dimension!
Cheers and paper over e-mail,
Road To the Heart
“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.” -Tom Wolfe.
I passed out on a bathroom floor in upstate New york and woke up in a Hospital near my parents house in Michigan. A distance of 650 miles from the place that I called home. Needless to say I was swimming in a sea of hopelessness and loss. I had been unfortunate enough to have had a massive stroke, which nearly killed me and was seemingly making my dreams of returning to my beloved city all but impossible. Suddenly the idea of time passing terrified me. With each new day rather than look at the possibilities I thought of all the things I missed or was missing out on. As far as I was concerned the prime of my life had been stolen and was getting spent sitting in waiting rooms, at a therapy, or in Doctor offices. Recently I had the chance to go back and visit my old neighborhood of Astoria Queens. Rather then saying “goodbye,” as my Mother suggested I chose to say “See you later.” Luckily I found that not much had changed in the neighborhood, which quelled my fears of the world changing drastically without me to be a part of it. I was somewhat apprehensive before the day of visiting arrived, mostly because I was worried I would become very sad. However, once I had arrived there everything was as I remembered and thus it was actually comforting. All the time I spent living in fear of missing out was dashed. I chose to use this visit for motivation rather than defeat. I navigated the neighborhood easily(as I know it!) and arrived to a dinner with close friends.
Afterwards I left to have a toast in my first apartment there.( Photo Below, right)
My former roommate and I laughed as We reminisced and spoke of the neighborhood changes. In many ways I felt as if I hadn’t been gone at all. For months all I wanted to do was return to the city I love and I believed it was lost to me.It’s very easy to buy into the naysayers that do nothing
but instill doubt. Luckily though, I have some people that remind me of the YES. The visit was not only to see friends but to
get a surgery that would make a difference in the speed of my “road trip,” back East. Thanks to the love and support of many they’ve kept my gas tank full and the motor running. In many ways were all on a “road trip,” I just happened to break down along the way, experienced a delay, and had to take a detour. Along with me in my vehicle each of my friends and family wrote me a letter ordrew me a picture. Every now and then I figure out that these individual pages fit together, and wherever one is missing I write my own. Soon enough it appears that it’s becoming an Atlas that’s pointing me where I need to go. Earlier on the map was destroyed and I thought I’d never find my way back to where I wanted to go. Luckily though I have some angels on my side that seem to be well equipped with maps and
glue! Gastroteca Astoria below:
See you soon!
Are you a Beyonce’ Babe?
This is a blog post for all the “Beyonce Babes,”out there.
I was thinking recently about a few of my very good girlfriends and I came to the conclusion that they’re “Beyonce’ Babes.”
That is their designation because they possess the qualities of strong independent women.
As a person of the fairer gender that is what I look up to and aim for.
These are ladies I’m proud to call my friends.
They are women that take care of themselves, rarely rely on a guy, possess creativity, intelligence, and adventure.
These are the type of ladies I want to have a party with in life for a long time to come.
Thank you for going against the age old stereotypes that society has come up with over the years. Whether your a male or female, don’t fret over what others think.
Perhaps that is something that comes with age, but you can get there faster by taking notice of the lessons or mistakes that others have learned.
It’s no wonder the elderly rock stretchy pants and loafers like there is no tomorrow, they simply don’t care!
In conclusion Ladies and Gentleman take heed from them and shed the opinions of others that you don’t need.
rockin’ “stretchy pants,” yours truly,
Blogcademy Chicago 2014 Recap
Dear Blogcademy,How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1)You encourage a sizable gathering of babes and creative women.
2)You make everything have that certain *sparkle*
3)You even got theparents out of the house to venture to Chicago seeking your glitter covered guru guidance.
4)You facilitate networking among up and coming bloggers furthering a great community a.k.a “tribe.
5)You have a “Brit Babe teaching too and I just love listening to that accent!
To make a long story short back in October 2012 I suffered a massive stroke which caused me to miss Blogcademy NYC which I lamented for weeks upon realizing I had completely missed it. however ,Lady Luck paid me a visit, there was a second class in Chicago ! I HAD to go but unfortunately I had no money any more to attend so I decided to apply for a scholarship, I then excitedly headed to a craft store and picked everything out for my project and with fingers crossed and a hopeful heart …proceeded to create a very cute scrapbook that followed my short essay- See Here
Well,much to my surprise I WON!
Hence followed a road trip to Chicago ,a dinner with local friends I had not seen in awhile and class the next day
The class was held at a co-working space called Enerspace Chicago, which is perfect because it’s a place for start ups and those seeking to further themselves,a business,or an idea, it was a lovely incubator to hatch our collective blogging dreams&schemes!
Much to popular belief bloggers and blogging is not just about “Look at me!Although “selfies can be fun… In fact it’s actually serious business and all three “headmistresses run their blogs as such.
The “Headmistresses!(above)*note the good style…
Everything was covered in depth from branding to content to marketing to monetizing,even the legal side of taxes,contracts,and agreements.
Gala introduced herself as well as the others and told all the “Blogcadettes where things were located We might need or want
After that intro it was time for each of us to do our own and answer the following questions:
1)Who are you?
2)What defines you?
3)Is it a business or is it a hobby?(your blog)
4)What else can you tell us about yourself?
Throughout class there were funny stories,laughs and of course good/fun music to each of our blogging activities&exercises
For being an 8 hour day it went by fast! Which to me indicates it must have been good to feel so fast
I learned more than I thought,the “Headmistresses were available to answer any and all questions,as well as generally just chat about anything,they were gracious hosts!
Check out my friend Erin’s site Here!
ART SCHOOL DROPOUT simply cool.
LADYBIRD LIKES yet more paper goodies
LIFE ON MARS VINTAGE PinkCircle Marilyn Monroe scarves.
MAD BIJOU Look at Her ” disco bullets…
LOVE IDEAS INK lovely paper goods!
REETA KRISHNA provided the indispensable WordPress for Beginners Book
SODA FOUNTAIN PHOTOGRAPHY Just take a LookSee!
CROWN AND GLORY beautiful “crowns and sparkly ears too!
REETA KRISHNA provided indispensable WordPress for Beginners Book
B-TRIZ COLLECTION from across the pond…
In conclusion,I learned alot it was a fresh atmosphere thats an open forum for learning,sharing,networking,inspiration,and fun.I can saythat if your at all interested in blogging,head on over to Vimeo and look for Blogcademy for a sneak preview of what its all about and I can promise you won’t be bored.
In conclusion I feel that it was time well spent for a sneak peek head on over to Vimeo and look up Blogcademy for a preview of what its about I believe if you have the blogging bug at all you’ll want to participate in class,and I can promise you won’t be bored.
Above Photo: Ears away!(my lovely friend Erin&I )
Goody Bag Swag Sponsors!
- Art School Dropout provided awesome hairpins
- Crown And Glory For the sparkly ears and pretty headbands!
- Mad Bijou Look for the “disco bullets! ours were pink 🙂
- Life On Mars Vintage Great name and very David Bowie! provided silky pink Marilyn Monroe Circle scarves.
- Love Ideas Ink Rad Stationary!
- B-Triz Collection Notebooks from over the pond!
- Reeta KRISHNA provided an indispensable WordPress for beginners book!
My friend made us matching shirts! Upwards&Onwards.Check out Her blog and illustration work
In conclusion,I found the two day class to be jam packed with useful information as well as inspirational i.e. it got me pumped
I would certainly recommend it to anyone even mildly interested so, GO?
Each of the “Headmistresses were so sweet and thanked me,as well as hugs!
I appreciate&admire them not only as amazing bloggers but as rather cool people too.
Get Inspired and attend Blogcademy,seriously!
Post Script: Check out this Chicago Class Video Here
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