Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

Dear Mister Brightside.


“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach.

As with every new year we get a clean hopeful slate on which to scribble our aspirations on. Many resolutions are made, but notoriously not kept. They begin with a vigor only to be abandoned  half way or later on. Why? Do we have short attention spans, lose focus, get tired easily, or just make goals up for fun?  It’s likely a small amount of all of those but mainly what we choose to focus on. Are we keeping our eye continually on the prize and remaining positive or letting fear and doubt creep in on us? Many times in the pursuit of happiness we need to build a  defense wall up against fear and doubt. This New Year began with me down in the trenches and feeling hopelessly sad. However, as the  new days of January began to pour in, I shifted my focus and the gloom lifted. I had to consciously choose to look at the bright side of the coming year. Even in the little things like a great upcoming film, phone upgrade(I love new gadgets), or paying down my debts. Those are all good things to look forward to and helped nudge that gloom on it’s way right out of the door. Today, I am hopeful about the future because I’m only seeing the good things. I have eliminated watching  reading or listening  to negative content. Cutting out as much negative(or dark) noise from your reality is crucial. Just like advertising can subconsciously and subtly have an effect on you, so can the negative influences in the world around us. Therefore, keep it light! You may have to cut out a show or certain music, but the resulting clearing of air and your mind is well worth it. The effects of being choosey about what you let in are huge. Don’t accept those negative things(or thoughts) through the gates of your mind. Be a vigilante! Stop those thoughts from entering before they even begin. Better yet, negate those negative thoughts and give them a dose of their own medicine. When you hear a voice that whispers things like “Your never going to get there.” or “ It’s not going to happen.” and “Why even bother?”   Declare out loud the opposite of those statements. After all, even Michelangelo’s masterpiece the David; was formed by diligently chipping away at a massive block of marble. Not to mention, marble is one of the hardest rocks out there. Dare I say it’s difficult just as your circumstances or goals may be. Except, Michelangelo persevered and look what He accomplished? A timeless and breath taking masterpiece! In the same way make your life a David.

 keep chipping away!


Heart Conditions.


“You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.”

― Chuck Palahniuk.

We’ve got to look forward and keep moving, not  delving  into the past.  This is especially hard if you  have fears about what the future holds.  As a  stroke survivor I found that  even my worries had worries.  It was  that much harder to think of the future not only because of fear, but  also because my heart was stuck in the past.We  must not let our hearts be offended. Why? Because,  taking offense(at someone or something) keeps us in a place of pain and inhibits our growth. If we choose to live in a place of unforgiveness we’ll become  that much more cold,  and hardened, the good things of life cannot grow or flourish in  rocky soil! Therefore, we need to let go of the past and of those  things that hold us back.  For what seems like ages I’ve lived in my past. Because quite frankly, having my independence was far better than my current   bleak reality.  However, I am no longer the person that I was, in fact none of us are. To remain the same would be to stunt our growth and limit ourselves. No matter what happens to  you remember that “ You are not a victim but a victor!”   In trying times it’s easy to get stuck in the former “better,” situations of our past. However,  you must continue  swimming forward or even in some cases treading water. Because, if you stop to consider the past too deeply, the weight of it will not only tie you up but cause you to sink. By remaining in my past I missed the good things in my present. The good news is, it’s never too late to begin moving forward. Indeed the sooner the better, and making a habit of it isn’t a bad idea either. Therefore, do not stop to consider your past for too long or too often. Far greater things lie ahead!






“Set high standards and few limitations for yourself.”- Anthony J. D’Angelo

Don’t you dare set a glass ceiling for yourself! We were made to spread like seeds and for  the good things we desire to multiply in our lives. The World  is limitations based on shortages. As evidenced by the mass media’s favorite things to report on; shortages and lack. However, don’t fall into the trap of evaluating yourself based  upon what other people say or limitations you place on yourself. Also, don’t let circumstances  shape you and adjust your goals to them. Don’t stop aiming for the “big ticket,” because currently your bank account doesn’t reflect the cost of said  big ticket. Rather than  looking at what you don’t have, focus on what you do have!  We tend to look more at what there isn’t than what there is.  Here’s  a  short list that’s sure to garner an increase of  what you desire:

1) Be thankful a.k.a gratitude.

2) Use what you have.

3) Bless what you have.

  Did you know that as babies we only have two natural fears?  They are falling  or being dropped and loud noises. However, a study done   on  700 Adults showed that they shared a common number of fears,(about 7,000) and that somewhere between birth and adulthood we had acquired thousands of fears.   We were not born to harbor fear and worry, the two main culprits responsible for  setting limits. We’re afraid of the future, afraid of what others may think, and afraid to take risks.  Personally, my biggest accomplishments came when I ignored any limitations or what people said. I would bet once you do the same, the sky’s the limit! Dear readers do not be conformed to this world, there are no limitations,only the ones we allow to be set in our lives.

Limit who?


New year, no fear.


“Don’t let your fear of what could happen, make nothing happen.” -unknown

   How likely  is it that  what you fear will come true?  It’s good to ask yourself these questions. Is this true? Is it  factual?  Do I know what the future holds? By asking yourself these questions, your  fear will soon  hold  little weight in your mind. Because, many of our fears have no real power and many aren’t steeped in reality. The likelihood that your fear will come true is slim to none.   In the movies that  you play in your mind are you the victim or the victor? Decide  to see yourself healthy, wealthy, and  victorious.Not to mention, you can control your fear, it doesn’t control you nor dictate your future. In 2016 we will have  365 days and 8,760 hours of time to fill as we choose, don’t let fear cause you to waste any of it! This new year signifies a fresh start  for all of us around the world. It holds new goals, new  possibilities, new opportunities, and new horizons!   Among these things, in the United States, many  set for themselves New Year’s resolutions. However,  many resolutions while they have strong beginnings eventually  taper off into the dust bin of forgotten.  So many people are pre-occupied with body image and health, they forget about  their mental health. Rather then resolve  to eat healthier, why not resolve to think healthier? Part of that is to shed the thoughts   and feelings preventing you from your full potential.   Not enough of us are told that we can set  our own limits, as well as  break them. One of the biggest  offenders is fear  and his sidekick doubt. These two combined have  paralyzed many ideas  in their  infancy as well as the people who originated them. Too often they plant the seeds of failure in your mind, that then bloom into invisible walls. It’s the fearless who  find ways over the walls and meet their dreams on the other side. What ever it is you’d like to do, or the goal that you wish to meet, you can achieve it. Choose to shed fear rather then pounds at the gym. Without the weight of it holding you down, you’ll be so light, that reaching the stars will  naturally become possible.

shoot for the moon!


this isn’t a dress rehearsal


“Life is not a dress rehearsal, stop practicing what your going to do and just go and do it, you can transform today.” -Marilyn Grey

If your just shooting for average, your failing miserably. It’s an act of the foolish to compare oneself to others, or measure against them. It’s  a ritual of mediocrity to compare  with other people.  you were created for something far bigger than you can imagine. The truth is that even if your doing well, there is more out there for you. A sense of dissatisfacion is a signal that your not fulfilling your purpose. It is when were  doing what we were made for that fulfillment will be reached. Rather than surmise your  doing well  by measuring  against what others are doing, why not take a different approach? What would happen if you aimed to be different or do better than everyone else instead?  Also don’t  shy away from  proclaiming your big dreams to others, for fear of rejection or sounding silly. Fear is what limits us in many  if not all ways. Don’t be  afraid of what other people think, because it robs you of your potential. Even  by simply proclaiming your dreams and aspirations out loud(no matter how “crazy”) you’ll see things  begin to shift and your life will change. I’m fairly confident that no one in history who posessed a legendary last name settled for doing just as well as  everyone else. Due to the mass  practice of people comparing themselves to  each other, it’s  exactly why We see so few names that outshine the rest. This is a bad habit  of humanity that  needs to be broken. Not to mention, by escaping the comparison trap, you’ll focus more on your particular brand of potential,squelch the green monster(jealousy),and you might just find yourself in a niche of society. This would be an excellent occurrence, because then you will be like  no one else. Which is  the point of course, to be the one and only YOU.




the golden touch.


“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.

– Charles Dickens.”

How many friends do you have? I’m not speaking of Facebook, Instagram or social media, but  actual friends. We cross paths with  and touch hundreds of people every year. This didn’t become so obvious to me until I landed in the ICU of an upstate New York Hospital. An  online  fundraiser was started for me, and who were the majority of donors? Well, not many of them were  close friends, surprising?  Yes!  Instead, they were the girl I had crossed paths with once in my work and charmed, the group of  lovely friends in Brooklyn that I played beer pong with once  in their loft, a group of pretty girls I took a pin-up  class with in New York City, family members and best friends of people(ie my boyfriend at the time) that loved me. Even people I worked with or had worked with contributed. As many  of my friends  that gave, so did people  who I had crossed paths with before  the  stroke occurred. Some of these near perfect strangers even wrote in loving(some funny)things with their donations.  Not only was I peasantly surprised by the outpouring of love,but even more so the reactions I received from those I had met only once(or twice). I  couldn’t believe they remembered me, much less that I left such an impression. What if   I had been grumpy,unfriendly,or unapproachable that day instead? It was obvious that you never know who your going to meet, and  how they’ll react to(and remember) you. Little did I know at the time, that each of these beautiful souls could easily have been  some of my very close friends! This also begs the question “ How would you like to be remembered?  We all want to be remembered fondly, and I just happened to get a glimpse of my own rememberence. This clearly showed me that, you  should not take your presence for granted. Because you affect far more then you know. I left a lasting impression not because of what happened to me, but rather because of who I am as a person. These people remembered a friendly,fun,relatable girl. We  can all leave such impressions. How? By waking up each day, embracing it, being grateful for our lives, and holding onto our childlike wonder. Moreover  by letting go of our fears or worries  and taking life head on, because after all We only have one!

 go out and cause a positive effect,


Let’s be Realistic


                “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”― Oscar Wilde. 

Let’s face it, “reality bites.” Why else would Winona Ryder star in a movie of the same title? Being realistic is great, but it can also  limit you. Imagination coupled with  ambition or chutzpah is far better. Granted  being realistic is good, I find a balance  between reality and imagination is far better. If I were realistic, I would’ve missed out on some of the best things in my life so far. Realists be damned, but taking a leap of faith in the direction of your dreams is far more rewarding then being  practical! Perhaps this makes more sense to the dreamers, but whatever you are too much “reality,” will limit you. Because, there’s nothing like reality to take the wind out of your sails. Over the years and even more so now I’ve culled an almost innate  ability to ignore the naysayers. The proof is in the pudding, because each time I took a risk that I was warned  about and it worked out this just  fueled me to take more. I suppose I’m very blessed that they worked out. However, aside from the supernatural I found that higher thinking also helped. You’d be surprised how much you can do when you put your mind to it and ignore your fears. Our brains are pliable nearly our entire lives(it’s called neuroplasticity) this means we can continually learn and shape ourselves. To take advantage of this try to think outside of  the box and don’t be afraid of the word “No,” or failure. Even if your on the bottom, you can only go up!  One of  the larger things I’ve noticed during my recovery, is how often I see perfectly capable people hold themselves back solely in their minds. A fact that has continually bothered me because I  have witnessed people with missing limbs not even be held back from running so to speak.Many people are blind to the fact that they have the world at their fingertips. If I could magically do one thing, I’d like to open their eyes to this reality of   having limitless possibility. Imagine how much farther you’d go if you heard or said “Yes,” more. Reality has a   way of trying to clip your wings if you let it, so don’t let it! Submerge yourself in the possible instead of impossible. Even making a  goal list, beginning with small things will help you gear up to  conquer the larger ones. It’s funny how beginning with “Do laundry today,” can lead into  get a motorcycle license. Because that goal  can be just as simple or mundane as doing laundry. A mountain is only as large as you see it being.

Cheers and have no fear!