July 20, 2021

Collide.

This is a tale of four people(although imagined) with four separate lives that somehow streamed into one river, before branching off into different directions. It’s funny how a complete stranger wrote a show that so often mirrors the spirit (and content) of my Life in New York City as a 20’s something Girl. Discovering not only what the five Boroughs of New York could offer me during my burgeoning Adulthood, but navigating the sometimes complicated relationships too! Just as a comet speeds through space colliding with other objects and leaving pieces of itself behind, so do we as people. Each relationship, meaningful interaction, successes, and failures have either built me up or broke me down. However, unlike Hannah Horvath, I never got to have a “goodbye tour,” of my Life and neighborhood in New York. Rather I fast forwarded through what I expected to be my fourth year in the city; instead waking up in a rehab hospital in Michigan. Which, needless to say was a shock to my system. Not fully grasping what had happened to me( I was unconscious for most of it after all) I just wanted to be back in New York. A place where completing even the most mundane or trivial of tasks, makes you feel like a champion. A place that is as difficult to succeed in, as the concrete is hard. I chose to live there, for it’s electric energy, for the massive amounts of opportunities, and to fulfill my teenage dream. As a fresh out of college 25 year old graduate it was the perfect place for me. Why? Because as I navigate stroke recovery and Life after a near Death experience, New York gave me guts. Not the kind you see in a horror movie, but real guts. The kind that helps you to fake it til’ you make it and go after what you want with no apologies. Do you find that behavior rude? Ladder climbing? Well, that’s just Life in the city babe. Where I once cursed the contrast of the Michigan trees to skyscrapers, the suburban sprawl to city streets, and the slow pace to the city’s efficiency; now I am thankful for it. Just as I found myself in NY at the right time and place, my recovery is happening at the right time and in the right place as well. I have run long and hard, but now it’s time to learn how to walk again.

^{-XO BLEU}

June 8, 2021

Little Drops of Water

“Life is not important, except in the impact it has on other lives,”

-Jackie Robinson.

Just as a minuscule drop of water falling into a pond creates a ripple that expands out until we can no longer see it; so do our lives in the oceanic universe. You may not be able to see how far reaching your actions are, but for every action there is a reaction. That being said, if your action is one of kindness, then the reaction you receive will be equally kind! It also serves to note, that people remember acts of grandeur no matter how small. One such act was made by a dog named Hachiko in the 1930s for His owner Hidesaburo Ueno. This tiny soul waited for nine years(that’s 3,285 days of His life) for His owner to return home from work. Today, a small bronze statue stands in remembrance of this story outside of the busy train station where this dog left so much of His love behind. How many people per day scurry past this unassuming statue without ever knowing the enormity of the story behind it? How many people or places have you scurried by without ever knowing their significance? Furthermore, how many people have not acknowledged your significance? Do you reckon, that if we could all slow down enough to actually see these things, Life would become more meaningful? Or perhaps, recognizing these things to be true, we’d discover increased value for and endeavor to create a better Life? One, that does not revolve on what we can get, but rather give. No matter how much I have supposedly given away, it has come back to me ten fold! A little known universal secret is that nothing you give away is ever truly lost. In fact, if you give with a heart of joy and gratitude you’re more likely to get it back and then some. Our society is entirely too focused on what we can get, or we get to keep. However, I have personally observed and experienced the opposite to be true. I have no qualms about “giving away,” money I don’t have, or extra time to volunteer; because it always comes back to me. If you don’t know already my Life itself was given back to me, and in many ways I’m living a second life! Rather than dying from a massive stroke in 2012 at the age of 28, I survived to continue on. Therefore, I’ve already been given more time, more money, and abundance. And I challenge you to share some of your abundance. Because, I promise if you slow down enough to look for it in your Life you will find it.

March 2, 2021

Dear future Suitor,

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

—Lao Tzu.

While at one time I only needed you to be cute, have a reasonable amount of knowledge about punk music, know how to skateboard, and have cool hair…… As Bob Dylan sings(not punk) “The times they are -a- changin.” These days I actually care about things like integrity, employment, your moral compass, and our shared future prospects. If you don’t know already(or yet) I had a stroke, and besides time changing things, so does almost dying. I’ve always put in a vast amount of effort to reach my goals and stroke recovery has been no different. Except(I lied) one thing has. Besides undergoing an arduous amounts of therapy, I’ve mirrored my physical development with meaningful growth of my soul. Neither has been easily achieved. Therefore, I’m not willing to put the priceless fruits of my labor(or my heart) into just anyones hands. So, I need you to step up. Reject me if you will over the effects the stroke has had on my life(this has already happened) but you’d be making an egregious mistake. This is in no way because I think I’m better than other people. It’s because I know my value. Although, much of it was robbed from me upon waking up in a hospital, the years have added it back and then some. Perhaps it’s age, time, or snobbery, I know it is wisdom! Far too many people(me too) undervalue themselves. We look into the mirror of society, and a distorted image stares back at us. The truth is, we are powerful, beautiful, and strong beings capable of ever expanding knowledge. Nothing is fixed, something I once wished wasn’t true, but am now grateful for it. Change means we can grow, progress can be made, and it makes Life precious. Mine, yours, everyones. The bottom line is, if you can be half as wonderful as my beloved dog Goose, I think we’ll be fine.

October 1, 2020

H.E double hockey sticks.

“My favorite driver is always either the bad guy or the underdog.” -Bo Jackson.

John Colone has always been in on the joke. In fact, most likely He orchestrated it. Hell, Michigan has not only been the catalyst for many events, and caused some local controversies, but it’s also a place that champions the underdog. Wayward travelers, misfits, survivors, and tourists from all over the world visit this tiny town. There is not only an atmosphere of mischief, but of acceptance. Have crazy colored hair? Welcome. Physically disabled? Welcome. A massive stroke survivor? Welcome. All are welcome, and if you are a misfit of society, all the better. This is because, not only is there no discrimination in the town of Hell, they understand survivors. The struggle is real, and many who populate this place, from tourists to “Hellbillies.” get it. The attitude is refreshing and not often found outside of the borders of Hell. Imagine a place where you are given a chance to do something different, to be who you are, and to succeed. Well, then maybe you should get a job in town, I just did! Yup. After spending countless hours putting my efforts into finding employment the traditional way, at the usual places….. All I had to do was go down the street! Because right around the corner from me, is Hell. Michigan. I considered secretary positions, jobs related to my field of expertise(medical) and technological jobs. However, I ultimately landed in the place I need to be at this time. You know the saying “If you build it they will come?” Well, John built a town based on a punchline and over the years Good Morning America has passed through, Netflix, The Travel Channel, and even Sundance. I suspect all the attention is the result of more than a funny name. Because, just like the charm of a stranger or honey to a bee, Hell has a natural magnetism. An energy that can be better understood if you spend any length of time here. Even more so if you meet the man behind the curtain. If you’d like to check it out more visit http://www.gotohellmi.com or drop by in person and say Hello. Perhaps, I’ll see you there!

September 22, 2020

Dear Kelsey

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” -Mother Teresa.

There is a secret to my success besides persistence, perseverance, and an excellent support system. Although those are certainly the main ingredients, there’s a secret one. And here it is. You need to learn how to rebuke! According to its definition, rebuke means; To express sharp disapproval or criticism of(someone) because of their behavior or actions. Who should you rebuke? Well, everyone, or anyone that sets themselves against your forward movement in life. The biggest offenders are….*drumroll please* doctors. I don’t condone avoiding them, but I do condone not letting them have the final word. When you receive a bad report, it is not the final report. Don’t you dare let fear creep in and limit your life according to what they say. If I or my family put an ounce of belief into the doctor’s report, I’d be a total vegetable being pushed around in a chair, suffer from severe fatigue, not recall my Parents faces, and so on. These are just a few of the things that were “supposed,” to happen according to the doctor’s report. Guess what? NONE of them did! Don’t just sit back and roll with a negative diagnosis. That storyline doesn’t have to be part of your book. We all have choices. Therefore, choose to be happy over sad, peace over drama and gossip, calm over frantic, and finally choose life over a report of death. It is death to accept a negative report as fact. While it’s true the sky is blue, it’s actually sunlight being filtered through millions of water droplets that are hanging in the air. You too can be a filter through which only love, health, and happiness come out on the other side. You just have to catch all that junk that tries to settle within you and bring you down. Cheers to no fear!