I just love the way She related hunger to life and its spiritual facets,not to mention I used to be a waitress:)
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I dig this cat!♡
When I was first discharged from inpatient rehab to my parents home for recovery I was not only upset and accusing them of kidnapping me, but also determined to regain my life even down to the same iphone.I was pre-occupied with trying to recreate as much of my life that I could prior to the “incident” (i.e massive stroke) however lately I have found that baby step by baby step things are actually better in some ways then before(hello iphone 6!) not only are those small things victories to me but also superstitious things like catching the clock at 11:11(a great sign in numerology) all the time.These may seem like fleeting moments to someone else in a fast paced life however, with a life seemingly in a slow motion car wreck those little things become larger.Many things that I too hardly noticed before have made themselves known, and in knowing them they have carried me across the burning coals of a harsh reality.I have learned that by giving myself smaller achievable goals and crossing them off everyday it leads me to tackle the larger goals much easier.As I progressively make more and more headway,suddenly the impossible becomes possible.I was often met with raised eyebrows and “We’ll see,” responses when I lamented my goal of (or better yet obsession)returning to New York City.It’s amazing how impenetrable your skin becomes when your determined.I don’t totally blame those responses.After all to an outside observer here was a young girl appearing to be crippled declaring a return to something seemingly impossible.I too felt it was hopeless at some point.Except at some point through a combination of crossing off goals,hope,real gains,and determination,those statements no longer seemed so incredulous anymore.At this time I’m embarking on becoming more independent and more like myself before the “incident.” I have vowed to do all I can in regards to my ongoing recovery.I also try to spread encouragement to others along the way as much as I can.
In sum after this happened to me it quickly became apparent that were all connected.Whatever small gesture of kindness or help you give to a stranger, it’s important just to do so.Each person that I have encountered during my recovery has been an integral if small part to a bigger picture.At times I have felt like Alice in Wonderland encountering different creatures along a winding and unfamiliar path.Much like Alice, I too have seen how each of these creatures(i.e people) are culminating to create a complete picture.Eventually I know I’ll emerge from the rabbit hole.Once I emerge,I plan to live like never before.When you almost lose it all,but manage to survive everyday things become much more precious.I won’t let any opportunity or a person in need pass me by without taking notice or action.Perhaps I’m of the hippie persuasion, but love does cast out fear.Imagine a world enveloped in love as oppose to fear or turmoil,isn’t that a place you’d like to be? Instead of daydreaming about it go out there and help create it,bringing it into reality.
“You used to be much more…”muchier.” You’ve lost your muchness.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.
Much like Alice we are all on a journey to find our muchness.
I have found that my own personal journey has very much reflected the story of Alice in Wonderland.
Over the past year and a half I have met character after character.
The jabberwocky for me was the recovery and overcoming of the massive stroke.
Many times I have been at a crossroads of confusion.
It was as if the Cheshire Cat was pointing me in all sorts of directions.
However, I couldn’t always listen to him but follow my own feet as best I could.
The evil queen of hearts for me though, resided in a large hospital castle.
She sent her army of doctors after me,while I ran thru a garden maze looking for the exit.
Luckily, I have found the tiny door to a room that leads out though.
When I finally return from the depths of the rabbit hole I have plans.
Like Alice,I too have large dreams and new frontiers to set sail for.
Alice keeps getting questioned who she is in the film repeatedly.
Until, finally the mad hatter recognizes her after she regains her”muchness.
I also was questioned repeatedly on who I was.
In test after test I determined to show therapists “I’m still here, I’m okay!”
After months of outpatient therapy, I began to feel mad.
However as in the film:
“The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter’s temperature]
I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
How can you be happy?
Isn’t that always the reason that motivates people to do things?
Whether they be good actions or bad it’s the human condition.
Truth be told I spent the last year on depression meds,in therapy, spinning negative thoughts, etc etc.
However it is not impossible to be happy!
What I have found is that the less materialistic I become the more I enjoy “real things,” like people,goals,and everyday.
If you wallow or dwell on things you wish you had you’ll be miserable.
Trust me because I’m speaking from experience.
If you don’t know my story(see here)at the time I had plenty to be miserable about due to fear and worry.
Nevertheless even ,poor me has found many silver linings.
More recently I have been selling things on ebay, that before I would have stored away to use “someday.
However, you know what?
I’ve been selling them off for half price and saving the money for my future goals.
Those goals once seemed impossible, but spin that to think:”I’m possible!”
Once I put a more positive spin on things I began to see the good and find happiness.
I used to complain and cry a lot which I’m not afraid to admit.
I believe in being transparent,because if you aren’t how can people get to know the real you?
How can you go about making meaningful connections with other people?
I’ve come from being angry that all these bad things happened to an undeserving me, to just wanting to share my story and love people.
In sum, the less you value objects and the more you love yourself and those who truly love you,happy you will be!
Besides….. remember the junk troll from the Labyrinth?
She had loads of things which piled into a burden on Her back and She was alone.
I don’t think anyone wants to be or become a junk troll like that.
Finally,my unsolicited advice, do yourself a favor and sell those meaningless objects,using the money towards your dream nothing is impossible.
“Strength does not come from physical capacity.It comes from an indomitable will.” -Mahatma Gandhi
**Love&hope for dreams that come true**
If you are a fan of etsy.com, then welcome to its real life version in Ferndale, Michigan. The Rust Belt Market is a good sized venue chock full of independent designers and sellers.
If your in the metro Detroit area at all, this place is worth a stop.
I found a couple of treasures and of course it’s always important to support small&independent businesses.
–dark brownleather cuff with vintage key closure by an amazing leather designer from Czechoslavakia, She had very unique leather clasps closures,and leather jewelry.
–lemongrass sugar scrub,all natural from Bath SAVVY
The unique wares don’t stop there,check out these Scrabble game board floors at one vendors shop!
Another Vendor employed a great use of pink wooden frames in her shop.
If that isn’t enough for you,they have cake too!Armanda Herbert at Soul Seasonings whips up cakes from the caramel cake and whiskey sweet potato to the aptly named “lemon cloud and all are delicious.
A slice will run you 5 or $7.00
For more information you can visit The Rust Belt Market Here.
Check out this video below! (pssst it’s down there…)
Just click this link please Madam or Mister D.I.Y or die!
**Happy crafting and creating!**
It’s good to have manners in fact as a child I spent every Halloween being followed by a Mom that would yell “say thank you!” after each successful candy transaction from a stranger,so needless to say I had manners even on a holiday where you could be anonymous and rude if you so desired
That being said, today while drinking my coffee and going thru updates I happily noticed ‘new followers! So I just wanted to say welcome,Hello,and I promise to do my best to be more interesting ha-ha
I plan on doing a design overhaul,but stay true to honest content,because life isn’t always pretty and I at least think people want substance not another glossy magazine,on that note I encourage new,current,old,and to be readers to feel free to give me some feedback and I promise I can take it I have been in my fair share of creative critiques.
When my 30th birthday was approaching,like most I was dreading it because I was not where I wanted to be or should be in life,-BUT -on a day I awoke quite cranky my mood was soon to be foiled,my family and friends threw me a surprise party that was Breakfast at Tiffany’s themed and just as pretty as a bridal shower.
My mood went from cranky to shocked pretty quick and you know what else?
Even though 30 is relatively young I feel better than ever because not only am I more comfortable with myself,I’m smarter and know what I want too.
If its wrinkles your dreading…fear not!
There is still plenty of time for that,not only do I not have any but weigh less than I ever did too,so 30 isn’t so bad really and as for where I want to be in life, it’s just a matter of time…….
Recently I sold my beloved Vespa…(see below)
Photo:2011 Upper East Side Manhattan after working a day at Memorial Sloan Kettering.
Credit:my friend Lesly!
I had dreamed of living in NYC and owning a Vespa since I was 16 years old,when I got both,realizing that, I cried.
As the story goes after 3 years of living in my favorite city I suffered a massive stroke which has sent me packing to recover in Michigan
Fearing I had lost everything,the reason my Vespa became ever more important to me was because it now symbolized dreams reached and possibly my dreams lost….
After a couple of buyers inquired on it because now not being able to ride it and owing more on it than it was worth I needed something I could use.Now the Vespa symbolized NYC,the freedom I had,my hard work&dreams,lots of good memories,and not to mention it is beautiful as seen below ha-ha
So instead since the funds from it were used to buy a new computer,it seems only fitting to in turn use it to further write my story and of course this isn’t goodbye forever just for now.
As the song goes for everything there is a season
I’m just looking forward to my Summer returning and little by little it is !so far one thing that has returned is Blogcademy NYC I missed the class but this weekend I’ll be going to Blogcademy Chicago! AND for free! Because I won a scholarship,so it did return and even better……
There will certainly be more things to come and perhaps even better!
In parting “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.,
I think Ryan Gosling is swoon worthy,you may think He is swoon worthy,all the teary eyed girlies at The Notebook think Ryan Gosling is swoon worthy……
We also agree that He sadly plays a fictional character,while this fictional romance is something We would all love,a devoted,playful.sweet love by our side,the truth is that sadly real Noah’s are few and far between beyond the movie screen,in reality you will be letdown,you will be disappointed,you will be left…..
The good news?
This will not only enable you to learn about yourself more but also force you to pull up your boot straps,grow stronger and chalk it up to the saying
: If he won’t fight for you he isn’t right for you.
Because in the end as pessimistic as that is,sometimes you have to fight for yourself because if the person you love can’t see your value then perhaps you should let your value of them depreciate,while yours increases!?there are too many mirrors in the world for you to miss the view of your own lovely reflection,if you have been wounded…… more good news! wounds heal,just like hair grows back after a bad haircut, just give it time.
When I have been the unlucky recipient of the title “Dumpee I mope for a considerable amount of time,sure but I also try to shift focus and sometimes even do things I don’t want to because it helps to shift head space,it also doesn’t hurt to have some good friends to be with….
If all else fails:
To be clear I don’t condone revenge on an ex! Besides “What goes around comes around,I tend to subscribe to whatever Justin Timberlake sings about….
Eventually after the pain dulls and the sun shines in your life again(hopefully sooner than later!)
You’ll find it warming your heart too and when that light fills you up it has nowhere else to go but out of your eyes and maybe even in the direction of a cute new Ryan Gosling look-a- like!?
In conclusion you may whether you want to or not get pretty comfortable with yourself and may even think of your ex: “Thanks for loosing me from that ball&chain,your loss!
As a pin read that I bought once from an old dirty biker(,and warranted many unwanted pickups from gas station attendants):
Single&Ready To Mingle. enjoy the good times those moments are for you,
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