“Faith. It does not make things easy, it makes them possible.” -unknown.
From time to time people tell me I’m amazing or very strong,butit is the source of how I became this way that deserves amention. If I was unaware of how loved I am, my confidence could falter, and I might actually buy into that little voice in my head that attempts to negate me. Many of us have that small voice that likes to tell usthatwe can’t accomplish anything, were not good enough,or that something will never happen that we desire. Unfortunately, for some people thatsmall voice canseem muchbigger than itis. I’ve learned that the negative voice is just a like a lion walking around roaring seeking whom He may devour(Peter 5:8). If you stand strongagainst it, and speak the opposite of what it tries to tell you, it will wither away with it’s tail between it’slegs. You can only be devoured if you do nothing and accept it. Therefore, stand strong on the knowledge that you’re worthy and loved. It’s much more difficult to push over ahouse that’slaid it’s foundation on a rock. So stand firm andmove ever forward on your path to victory, whatever that may be for you.My strength comes fromthe knowledge of God. I have experienceda miracle, and seentoo many small ones along the way, not to take notice that I havesomeone looking out for me(on Earthand in the sky!) In that I have found continual strength to face the day and persevere.If I was completely unbelieving or unaware, I don’t think I would be as far along as I am. In fact I would’vebeen committed toa psych ward by now(this almost happened, almost) Before I had a massive stroke, mySundays were reserved for sleeping in, or whatever else I wanted to do. However, armed with the knowledge of the light of the universe(God,love) I’ve stayed strong on my pathof recovery.Even when the darkness seems to envelope you, there is always a small light that it cannot completely overcome. For example, imaginea windowlessauditoriumin which there is a single lightning bug(see here) flying around. Every eye in attendance would drift to that little bug, and no matter how dark the darkness is, itcan’t put out the light coming from it.
“To the world you may just be someone, but to someone you may be the whole world.”
It’s strange andsometimes emotional when I unexpectedly(or expectantly)stumble acrossobjects from my life in New York City. Essentially, while I was in a coma(not knowing if I would live)friends andfamilypacked up my belongings and my apartment. So there I was out of commission and my life(hanging in the balance)packed away into numerous boxes. They made the trek from New York, to New Jersey,and then Michigan. While Ieventually followed them. From time to time, I will be doing something and randomly see or find something thatused to live in my New York apartment. With each object I find,it opensup theflood gate of memories. I can remember when I bought it,where it was from,what I did that day,and see it in it’splace in my apartment. Everyobject holds a story. Since my life has taken a radical turn, these objects afford me the feelings that I imagine a true explorer gets.When my eyes and fingers touch upon an object from my life before themassive stroke, I feel like an Alien discovering something from a past civilization,of a time gone by. This is becausethe situation I’m in now seems so unreal. Although the objects are not foreign to me,in some way they are. Why? Becausebefore I was completely unaware of the reality that I’m enduring now. This hasgiven me the point of view of an outsider. When I’m holdingsomething in my hand(or gaze) I can actually take it in as if it weren’t mine. Leaving me to see it in a new way.Intheway that an explorer might see something and wonder what kind of life it once had. Although I know the life of my own belongings, I miss the girl that bought them. I’ve been in what seems likean alternateuniverse for the past two years. I’ve been working on bringing that girl back from the other universe. I remember everything,but even so I worry I’ll forget. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be able to walk freely,tie a shoe,run,jump,and generally be able to controlmy body. Those objects remind me of the girl I used to be(physically)and I want Her back. I even think back to how oblivious I was to the struggles I now face(and have) wishing Icould somehow eke out some ofthose feelings back into the present. Howfortunate Iwas to beunaware of the things I know now! Those objects hold this otheruniverse within them. I wonder whatIwould do if I had known then, what I know now. Ah,yes it’s theage old question,and the answer is everything. We takeso much for granted, that it’s so important to live and enjoy life as much as you can.
“What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.”-Harry Houdini.
How many of us chase an illusion?We try to emulate the pictures We see in beauty magazines,the lifestyles We see(or think We see)in media,and generally listen to what were subconsciously being told through popular culture. We are inundated with these fairy tale suggestions. The things you aren’t told upfront is that much of it issmoke and mirrors(or photoshop) so this means were essentially spectators at a giant magic show. Once it becomes clear that the pictureisn’t authentic, you’ll find thatwhat you already possess is just as good if not better, then what’s in the elusive fairy tale images being paraded on every available space.(i.e television,magazines,billboards,and in retail spaces)I’m not sure how it is in other countries, but in America the media is over saturated into daily living. This has caused some negative effects. Such asunnecessary fear,dieting,and misrepresentation. The fact is, that just like at a magic show,it’s helpful to realize it’s not all realistic. Many people realize this(I hope)but what about those that do not? It takes a certain amount of confidence and experience to not fall prey to these tactics. It’s important to be comfortable in your own skin and not care so much about what other people think. When you possess these things,you’ll find that you’ll be more successful in life. With confidence comes success,and there aren’t too many things better then marching to the beat of your own drum. True beautyis not contained inside the pages ofa beauty magazine. However, there is beauty abound inyour own brand of unique. Ahomogenized World full ofmodels wouldbe terribly boring,so do your best notto look like one. It’s in the perceived “imperfections,” that Wecan find perfection. When you truly see theunique beauty that you possess(i.e like yourself!) themediachatter begins to die down to a barely audible whisper. In other words you’ll be much happier andyour corner of theuniverse will be muchnicer!
It’s amazing what happinesswill generate in your life. I have found that happiness attracts positivesituations,good people,more confidence,and success!Once your able to tune out(the media junk) and get on your own wavelength, happiness becomes a renewable resource.