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The source

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“Faith. It does not make things easy, it makes them possible.” -unknown.

From time to time people tell me I’m amazing or very strong,but  it is the source of how I became this way that deserves a  mention. If I was unaware of how loved I am, my confidence could falter, and I might actually buy into that little voice in my head that attempts to negate me. Many of us have that small voice that likes to tell   us  that  we can’t accomplish  anything, were not good enough,or that something will never happen   that we desire. Unfortunately, for some people that  small voice can  seem much  bigger than it  is. I’ve learned that the negative voice is just a like a lion walking around roaring seeking whom He may devour(Peter 5:8). If you stand strong  against it, and speak the opposite of what it tries to tell you, it will wither away with it’s tail between it’s  legs. You can only be devoured if you do nothing  and accept it. Therefore, stand strong on the knowledge that you’re worthy and loved. It’s much more difficult to push over a  house that’s  laid it’s foundation on a rock. So stand firm and  move ever forward on your path to victory, whatever that may be for you.  My strength comes from  the knowledge of God. I have experienced  a miracle, and seen  too many small ones along the way, not to take notice that I have  someone looking out for me(on Earth  and in the sky!) In that I have found continual strength to face the day and persevere.  If I was completely unbelieving or unaware, I don’t think I would be as far along as I am. In fact I would’ve  been committed to  a psych ward by now(this almost happened, almost) Before I had a massive stroke, my  Sundays were reserved for sleeping in, or whatever else I wanted to do. However, armed with the knowledge of the light of the universe(God,love) I’ve stayed strong on my path  of recovery.  Even when the darkness seems to  envelope you, there is always   a small light that it cannot completely overcome. For example, imagine  a windowless  auditorium  in which there is a single lightning bug(see here) flying around. Every eye in attendance would drift to that little bug, and no matter how dark the darkness is, it  can’t put out the light  coming from  it.

be  that  little bug!

bleu

Ordinary Objects

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“To the world you may just be someone, but to someone you may be the whole world.”

It’s strange and  sometimes emotional when I unexpectedly(or expectantly)stumble across  objects from my life in New York City. Essentially, while I was in a coma(not knowing if I would live)friends and  family  packed up my belongings and my apartment. So there I was out of commission and my life(hanging in the balance)packed away into numerous boxes. They made the trek from New York, to New Jersey,and then Michigan. While I  eventually   followed them. From time to time, I will be doing something and randomly see or find something that  used to live in my New York apartment. With each object I find,it opens  up the  flood gate of memories. I can remember when I bought it,where it was from,what I did that day,and see it in it’s  place in my apartment. Every  object holds a story. Since my life has taken a radical turn, these objects afford me the feelings that I imagine a true explorer gets.  When my eyes and fingers touch upon an object from my life before the  massive stroke, I feel like an Alien discovering something from a past civilization,of a time gone by. This is because  the situation I’m in now seems so unreal. Although the objects are not foreign to me,in some way they are. Why? Because  before I was completely unaware of the reality that I’m enduring now. This has  given me the point of view of an outsider. When I’m holding  something in my hand(or gaze) I can actually take it in as if it weren’t mine. Leaving me to see it in a   new way.  In  the  way that an explorer might see something and wonder what kind of life it once had. Although I know the life of my own belongings, I miss the girl that bought them. I’ve been in what seems like  an alternate  universe for the past two years. I’ve been working on bringing that girl back from the other universe. I remember everything,but even so I worry I’ll forget. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be able to walk freely,tie a shoe,run,jump,and generally be able to control  my body. Those objects remind me of the girl I used to be(physically)and I want Her back. I even think back to how oblivious I was to the struggles I now face(and have) wishing I  could somehow eke out some of  those feelings back into the present. How  fortunate I  was to be  unaware of the things I know now! Those objects hold this other  universe within them. I wonder what  I  would do if I had known then, what I know now. Ah,yes it’s the  age old question,and the answer is  everything. We take  so much for granted, that it’s so important to live and enjoy life as much as you can.

Cheers!

bleu

Illusion

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                         “What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.”-Harry Houdini.

How many of us chase an illusion?  We try to emulate the pictures We see in beauty magazines,the lifestyles We see(or think We see)in media,and generally listen to what were subconsciously being told through popular culture. We are inundated with these fairy tale suggestions. The things you aren’t told upfront is that much of it is  smoke and mirrors(or photoshop) so this means were essentially spectators at a giant magic show. Once it becomes clear that the picture  isn’t authentic, you’ll find that  what you already possess is just as good if not better, then what’s in the elusive fairy tale images being paraded on every available space.(i.e television,magazines,billboards,and in retail spaces)  I’m not sure how it is in other countries, but in America the media is over saturated into daily living. This has caused some negative effects. Such as  unnecessary fear,dieting,and misrepresentation. The fact is, that just like at a magic show,it’s helpful to realize it’s not all realistic. Many people realize this(I hope)but what about those that do not?   It takes a certain amount of confidence and experience to not fall prey to these tactics. It’s important to be comfortable in your own skin and not care so much about what other people think. When you possess these things,you’ll find that you’ll be more successful in life. With confidence comes success,and there  aren’t too many things better then marching to the beat of your own drum. True beauty  is not contained inside the pages of  a beauty magazine. However, there is beauty abound in  your own brand of unique. A  homogenized World full of  models would  be terribly boring,so do your best not  to look like one. It’s in the perceived “imperfections,” that We  can find perfection. When you truly see the  unique beauty that you possess(i.e like yourself!) the  media  chatter begins to die down to a barely audible whisper. In other words you’ll be much happier and  your corner of   the  universe will be much  nicer!

It’s amazing what happiness  will generate in your life. I have found that happiness attracts positive  situations,good people,more confidence,and success!  Once your able to tune out(the media junk) and get on your own wavelength, happiness becomes a renewable resource.

Cheers and tune out!

bleu

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