Archive of ‘Dreams’ category

Welcome to the other side….

Happy New Year everyone !! In contemplating the past, the future, the potential, the successes and failures… whilst flipping over to the next calender year a thought occurred to me… Is the grass really greener on the other side?? Many people think this and base a majority of their decisions on it…it’s a human thing to want, to wonder, to wander…but be careful what you wish for, right??

As a restless soul I always had the problem of discontent, my mind wandered (as it still does because I am a dreamer) but to what I could or should be doing.. the B that should be an A, the country I want to inhabit, the numerous amazing projects I wanted to begin or complete, etc etc.. goals are great however there is a point where it becomes hard to be content; truly content and many times we inflict this discontent upon ourselves. I found a great list, 38 “Zen Habits” some of them are good advice and insightful and at the very least entertaining.

After all…. if your not fully in the present you’ll miss most of your life. I think back to the people I wish I would have spent more time with but was distracted by being too “busy” with work, school, a social function. This New Years I spent with my Mom and turned down the numerous other places I could have been, and you know what?? The social functions will always be there, my Mom will not.. its one of the best New Years I have had for that reason… quality not quantity… I believe too many of us have the tendency to possess this restless spirit, but there is a degree I believe to where it becomes detrimental.. its all about priorities..

How many times have you and certainly I, left something only to realize how good what you had was.. life goes on.. you live and learn but growing up and figuring out what is important to you makes all the difference… making better decisions, learning how to be content with yourself and where you are. For me this has meant spending as much time as I can with the people who over the years have shown me boundless love, acceptance and support. I’m not always as good at making time as I’d like to be.. balance is another thing I am forever trying to master….

I remember reading about the Dalai Lama and he had said that true happiness comes thru altruism.. I believe that is right too.. I want to live for something bigger and better then just myself. Living in NYC has been a crazy, wonderful, sometimes terrible (aka exhausting) journey but its made me tougher and its further shaped what I have come to value….. For me my job is not important, money is not everything, spending time in hollow relationships with people who don’t actually care about you is a waste, and furthermore being able to recognize the friends and foes is an ongoing journey as sometimeessss…. wolves dress like sheep.

Heck, this idea even carries over into romantic relations…When I first moved to the city I remember meeting in my first week, at my first job (bartending) a beautiful, nice, seemed non-crazy( really! but who knows….), successful girl and as we got to talking she complained of her difficulties in finding a solid/stable dude….”They all just want to play and move on to the next girl because here there are so many girls” (lots of pretty smart ones too)…. I thought I was doomed for sure if this girl couldn’t find a real relationship…(It was long before this I began my imaginary cat collection in my mind.. ha ha. sigh. Actually fuck that, motorcycle collection, and lest not forget vintage Vespas and Lambrettas and loud Rock N’ Roll. yaaaaa !) and I will say 90% of the women I meet here (young to middle aged to old) all have the same problem…(Note: for some reason I attract these kinds of confessions/discussions from many times total strangers, ?? I’m too approachable I think, NEVER make eye contact ha ha (kidding..sort of…)…

I really feel it is unfortunate that it seems to be how this city predominately is… new generation? a NYC thing? bad dating skills? bad decisions? Holy smokes Batman.. I am not sure… however I believe its a typical case of the grass is greener.. with so many people in the grass is greener mindset I believe they miss out on what is right in front of them; don’t miss out. Take good care of the grass your on and you’ll soon have a garden and soft cushy grass to cloud watch in. (=

Also ladies, about all those dudes.. Someday you’ll all find someone to look into your eyes and say “Helloooo your my very special one.” Here is a song for you about just that and perhaps maybe about prolonging this new year just a little longer (especially if 2011 treated you well)


 P.S. …………………………..

Behind your eyelids.


I can’t be the only dreamer.. I know I’m not, but perhaps just maybe I am too much of a daydreamer… I am a pro at “zoning out” so much so my Mother thought I was deaf as a child.. what can I say? Somewhere along the way for whatever reason (I have my theories) I tuned out of the mundane and at times dark world and tuned into my own channel. I got really good at ignoring things. Perhaps I developed a decreased attention span? Is it because I’m a.d.d. ? A bad listener? Is it a coping mechanism learned as a child? A dreamer through and through… I think its all of the above. No matter. The point is, (is there one?) I got to thinking about this because as with all challenges focus is one of mine and please oh please if you know me don’t get offended at my lack of attention or bad memory when it comes to birthdays and names and..( ahahah I’m not that bad.! !) Its just that sometimes everyone escapes in one way or another, I just got really good, (so good it happens unconsciously more often then not), at escaping to “Planet X” (as  I always called it). Luckily those who love me put up with it *wink* but like anything I am working to improve it… Life is funny isn’t it? I don’t make plans I just go with it and I find that the best… along the way I learn learn learn..what have you learned lately?



The North Star

I used to want to be Peter Pan, and if not Peter Pan certainly one of the Lost Boys running wild in the woods with a mess of hair and a wooden sword shoved into a makeshift belt, whooping indian calls with feathers in my hair and dirt under my nails, not to mention being able to fly. Who am I kidding? I still want all that, just fly towards the second star to the right and straight on til’ morning.Who wouldn’t want to live here!?

Dreamy Tuesday.

So its still the beginning of the week… ah well, never too early to daydream. After all, dreams do come true!

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