All or Nothing


“I refuse to let others walk thru my mind with their dirty feet.”


I’m a walking contradiction, a conundrum even to myself. For I have everything and nothing at the same time. At the onset of my  ordeal(the stroke) I  missed out on a few social engagements, a tropical vacation, a raise, my apartment in Astoria Queens was no longer, and  I lost the job I had been working when the stroke occurred.  Oh, and I woke up back where I started before I moved to New York  City and physically worse for wear. To add insult to injury my boyfriend also broke up with me. This all accumulated into a waking nightmare. As if life isn’t hard enough, my blood and brain had conspired against me. I rarely(if ever) have written about how I felt after waking up in the hospital in my home state; but its safe to say complete and utter loss while in a black abyss. I  can recall  myself loudly and randomly letting out screams of emotional pain in the rehabilitation department. However, there’s a catch because, better a delay  than a disaster. Also, it didn’t hurt that I  am surrounded by an incredible group of family and friends; who helped me through my pain, and very often their own. At this point and especially in the hospital, most would concur  that I had lost it all and nothing remains. Even as I am writing this with one hand because my left arm is currently paralyzed, I know I haven’t lost it all. In fact just as the night is darkest before the dawn in nature, so is life sometimes. Indeed the days are getting lighter as time passes. How could they not!?  You see I have everything because, I’ve  been instilled with an indomitable spirit, the determination and perseverance to succeed, and  the wisdom to recognize tiny daily miracles. This all adds up to my main goal, numero uno… which is to get back on the tracks my train was derailed from.  Each one of us encounter disasters in life, but with the right  glasses on we can still see the light in the darkness. There is never complete darkness in nature or in our lives. Even when we imagine  it to be so, the reality is that it is not. I can honestly  tell you that it does get better. Except, there is one thing…. No matter  the mountain, you must never give up!

may God be with you!


5 Comments on All or Nothing

  1. God's Hot Spot
    September 28, 2016 at 5:51 am (7 years ago)

    What a great testimony and CONFIDENCE IN GOD even when things seem contradictory to human expectations you have STRONG FAITH IN CHRIST. WE continue to stand in agreement with you that Father God the ALMIGHTY HEALER CONTINUES TO HEAL YOU COMPLETELY from head to toe in Jesus Name. We thank God for how far HE HAS BROUGHT YOU OUT THROUGH IT ALL YOU HAVE LEARNT TO TRUST IN GOD AND TO DEPEND ON HIS WORDS. The very pursuit of happiness the world drives us to chase in the rat race GOD TURNS AROUND to get our attention so what the devil meant for evil God USES FOR GOOD FOR HIS GLORY AND TESTIMONY. You have indeed defeated the devil by the word of your testimony and by the PRECIOUS PRICELESS BLOOD OF THE LAMB JESUS CHRIST. YOUR MAKER IS YOUR HUSBAND AND HE WILL MAKE A WAY FOR YOU WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY IN JESUS NAME. God bless you abundantly in Jesus Name.

    • Leah
      September 28, 2016 at 2:53 pm (7 years ago)

      Wow, thank you! That’s exactly what I like to hear! I(and my family) are indeed believing for a COMPLETE healing. In fact I study about it as much as I can.😊

      • God's Hot Spot
        September 28, 2016 at 3:04 pm (7 years ago)

        Claim healing daily and thank God for restoration of every cell tissues, organs and whole body in advance in JESUS NAME that you will testify in the congregation of the righteous for preserving your life. Above all, your Spirit is made Perfect in Christ so this earthly fleshly garment will be renewed and transformed in the Rapture, no matter what you may look like or feel now GOD IS FULLY IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE IN JESUS NAME!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND BLESS YOUR LOVING DEDICATED FAMILY AND LOVED ONES SUPPORTING YOU IN JESUS NAME!!!😇😀

  2. God's Hot Spot
    September 28, 2016 at 3:21 pm (7 years ago)

    Get lots of massages everyday and play a lot of Godly healing music and ask healing VIRTUE from Christ to enter you. FORGIVE everyone who hurt or offended you and lean on God, Praise and Worship God every day. GOD BLESS.

    • Leah
      September 28, 2016 at 3:22 pm (7 years ago)

      Thank you!😊


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