August 2015 archive

August 30, 2015

keep walking

“Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything.” -unknown.

We all need encouragement to accomplish our dreams, pursue a goal, lose weight, or simply just to be assured that were doing okay. Throughout my recovery I have met many a cheshire cat(Alice in Wonderland) that helped to point the way and encourage me I was on the right path. In particular one of them happened to be a child. Since children are unencumbered by the burdens of adults and can see more clearly, I certainly took his words as wise. I found myself in the sanctuary of a church in Redding California(long story) it was Bethel Church to be exact. It was here amid music and a general strong sense of God in the room, that I was approached by two young children with an adult. They proceeded to kindly bring me out of my thoughts, and with the young boy holding a piece of paper in hand, began to explain that they were looking for me all morning. I was completely unaware that while I was carrying out my day, somewhere a child held some encouragement for me in his hands. Just a few weeks prior I had tried to walk on a treadmill and it went badly, because I found that I could not really do it. What ensued was a lot of discouragement, due to that perceived failure. However, when the little boy turned that piece of paper over, it was to change. I was told that in the morning during prayer, He received a picture and decided to draw it. They had been looking all morning to find the person whom it was for, and upon seeing me He found the pictures intended recipient. Now what could possibly be on this paper for me? a treadmill!

Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 1.16.10 PM

On the back of this picture He wrote simply the word “legs,” in quotations and went on to explain what the picture meant. The treadmill brought with it the message to keep going, not to give up, and that I would be healed soon. Just when one could begin to feel forgotten, here was some divine intervention. I don’t believe in coincidences, so for me this clearly wasn’t one. With my mouth slightly ajar it became evident to me that there is always someone looking out for you. Sometimes it feels as though your the only one struggling, or that your alone. However, as evidenced by this picture your not forgotten and there is always hope. A new development in my recovery, is that I have been able to walk on the treadmill(same one I failed at before. The picture is now framed in front of it. This story is for everyone as a simple reminder that you are not alone nor forgotten. Wherever there is dark shine a light.

Cheers!

August 28, 2015

bag lady beauty review:

“‘The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it’s not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It’s because of Beyonce’s handbags.”

-Steven Patrick Morrissey.

I have spent many a day inside of a Sephora, and pride myself on being quite the product aficionado. I even applied for a job to be a cast member(see here) at one in Times Square out of sheer desperation, for the discount, and because why not? While perhaps thankfully I didn’t get the job, I don’t mind dishing out my knowledge for free. However, the discount would’ve been nice. Not to mention adding more unnecessary pretty things to my makeup arsenal. Sadly I mostly bought it all because I’m a sucker for well designed packaging and pretty colors(kinda like a kid in the sugar cereal aisle. These days, I have gone either bare or for the “no makeup, makeup.” That being said, without further ado.. here are my must haves all spilling out of this bag.
Benefit gimme brow(find it here)
Sarah Mcnamara miracle skin transformer(find it here)
Evian Water facial spray(I got made fun of for this one) wonderous in a hot NY subway mist me!
Lipstick Queen jean queen(find it here your highness.
Emani all natural face powder(find it here)
Bare Minerals handy buki(brush it all on here)
The iphone 6(with hipster wallpaper) because I love my gadgets…
Crown&Glory hair accessories(sparkle more here!
Top it off with Miss Dior parfume(here) my favorite.
Bust Magazine(subscribe?) not necessary but awesome.
With all these in your arsenal you’ll achieve the au’ naturale look and smell rather magnificent!

fake it til’ ya make it,

P.S for a laugh check this out(http://www.whowhatwear.com/miley-cyrus-jimmy-kimmel

August 25, 2015

this isn’t a dress rehearsal

“Life is not a dress rehearsal, stop practicing what your going to do and just go and do it, you can transform today.” -Marilyn Grey

If your just shooting for average, your failing miserably. It’s an act of the foolish to compare oneself to others, or measure against them. It’s a ritual of mediocrity to compare with other people. you were created for something far bigger than you can imagine. The truth is that even if your doing well, there is more out there for you. A sense of dissatisfacion is a signal that your not fulfilling your purpose. It is when were doing what we were made for that fulfillment will be reached. Rather than surmise your doing well by measuring against what others are doing, why not take a different approach? What would happen if you aimed to be different or do better than everyone else instead? Also don’t shy away from proclaiming your big dreams to others, for fear of rejection or sounding silly. Fear is what limits us in many if not all ways. Don’t be afraid of what other people think, because it robs you of your potential. Even by simply proclaiming your dreams and aspirations out loud(no matter how “crazy”) you’ll see things begin to shift and your life will change. I’m fairly confident that no one in history who posessed a legendary last name settled for doing just as well as everyone else. Due to the mass practice of people comparing themselves to each other, it’s exactly why We see so few names that outshine the rest. This is a bad habit of humanity that needs to be broken. Not to mention, by escaping the comparison trap, you’ll focus more on your particular brand of potential,squelch the green monster(jealousy),and you might just find yourself in a niche of society. This would be an excellent occurrence, because then you will be like no one else. Which is the point of course, to be the one and only YOU.

GO!!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk8eJh4i8Lo&w=560&h=315%5D

August 23, 2015

tell me what you want

Do you really need to burden yourself down with another material item? For the majority of Americans, and females, shopping could be considered a sport. However, it’s a shame to live in a society that espouses material gain as being so desirable. If you have ever seen the movie Shopoholic, that was me. If you haven’t, I can sum it up for you. Girl lives in New York City,

purchases way too many unnecessary objects, goes into major debt, realizes it’s a sham,and makes a major life change, this is also me.

I cringe when I see the outrageous prices of things that people are all too willing to purchase. For example, a pretty book of eyeshadow selling for nearly $90.00! (on Ebay) My goodness, you only have one face, how much makeup do you really need for it!? The more you own, the more you become a slave to your belongings. Most of the time, the things you want aren’t really what you need.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM_p1Az05Jo&w=420&h=315%5D

For some more wealth brings more security. However, that’s nearly akin to worshipping your stuff. If your not careful, you could begin to make material objects or money your God. Not to mention this type of God brings with it bondage, and can enslave you. The more wisdom I get on what really matters, the less and less material items hold value to me. Because, in the big picture, I’d rather have complete health than a brand new beautiful bag. If it isn’t serving you, but rather your serving it, it’s time to reconsider buying it in the first place. You work hard for the money, so make it work for you. Besides, that money truly does look better in the bank than on your arm or feet. When life hits you with a reality slap, suddenly all those things that once were desired, tend to be put into perspective. Money is a tool, not something to be subservient to. Indeed credit cards will certainly make you a slave as well. This is an oft quoted and followed scripture-

Romans 13:8(KJV) Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. This is great advice for us all, because debt can only weigh you down. Therefore, avoid debt and you will certainly feel lighter. This applies to material goods as well, because the less you have, the less burden will be on your back. Instead of immediate gratification( or short term) consider the long term and your future goals.

keep your goals in mind!

August 21, 2015

The source

“Faith. It does not make things easy, it makes them possible.” -unknown.

From time to time people tell me I’m amazing or very strong,but it is the source of how I became this way that deserves a mention. If I was unaware of how loved I am, my confidence could falter, and I might actually buy into that little voice in my head that attempts to negate me. Many of us have that small voice that likes to tell us that we can’t accomplish anything, were not good enough,or that something will never happen that we desire. Unfortunately, for some people that small voice can seem much bigger than it is. I’ve learned that the negative voice is just a like a lion walking around roaring seeking whom He may devour(Peter 5:8). If you stand strong against it, and speak the opposite of what it tries to tell you, it will wither away with it’s tail between it’s legs. You can only be devoured if you do nothing and accept it. Therefore, stand strong on the knowledge that you’re worthy and loved. It’s much more difficult to push over a house that’s laid it’s foundation on a rock. So stand firm and move ever forward on your path to victory, whatever that may be for you. My strength comes from the knowledge of God. I have experienced a miracle, and seen too many small ones along the way, not to take notice that I have someone looking out for me(on Earth and in the sky!) In that I have found continual strength to face the day and persevere. If I was completely unbelieving or unaware, I don’t think I would be as far along as I am. In fact I would’ve been committed to a psych ward by now(this almost happened, almost) Before I had a massive stroke, my Sundays were reserved for sleeping in, or whatever else I wanted to do. However, armed with the knowledge of the light of the universe(God,love) I’ve stayed strong on my path of recovery. Even when the darkness seems to envelope you, there is always a small light that it cannot completely overcome. For example, imagine a windowless auditorium in which there is a single lightning bug(see here ) flying around. Every eye in attendance would drift to that little bug, and no matter how dark the darkness is, it can’t put out the light coming from it.

be that little bug!

August 18, 2015

future feature

“You can never plan the future by the past.” -Edmund Burke.

It’s no secret that psychics, fortune tellers, and tarot card readers are a sham and this is why I believe that. Because, as humans We have a mystical tool that allows us to shape our futures, a little thing called choices. However, many things occur to us that We did not choose, but even so you can still choose your perspective. Even when circumstances seem particularly bleak, you can choose to see the glass half full. If We could actually see the future, surely it would change or improve upon the decisions We do make. Therefore, many people seek out someone(or something) to help guide them on the path towards and through this unknown future landscape. Our need to know or control all aspects of our lives brings in the worrying thoughts, repetitive condemnations, questions, and fear. All this can culminate into a visit to a psychic. However, they are no more knowledgeable about the future than you are. This is comforting, because not knowing the future, means that anything is possible! Certainly knowing the future would have reassured my Parents when I was in the ICU of a hospital. Because there was no way at that present moment they could see this from where they sat inside my hospital room.

Photos: left, in ICU and right, in California 2 years later.

Even the Doctors, whom so closely monitored me at the time did not predict this. As you can see, the future is unpredictable by most if not all. This is good news, because it indicates that the future can radically change. When nothing is certain, anything is possible. Sometimes, you just have to let go, as much as you want to hang on. In letting go of absolute control, you allow peace to enter and can more readily enjoy the ride. It’s when I let go that I was able to let myself be surprised. If you can negate our human need to have control, you may just find some contentment, and peace of mind. In no way am I suggesting you fall like a leaf into the wind. Just that by releasing some of the burdens of striving it will allow more life to happen to you, rather than you happening to it. In doing so, you’ll be headed to your goal with less strife. Not to mention, if life was predictable it would be lackluster and unchallenging. It is in our challenges, that We find what were truly made of, and surprise ourselves. It’s in the unscripted pages of time that We find the many paths available to us. Be sure to tune into that small still voice inside, and follow the path that brings you life!

embrace the possibilities,

August 16, 2015

Dating(what is it good for?

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” -Loretta Young.

Since, it’s pretty obvious that modern dating has pretty much killed any romance(see here)

As much as it’s about finding or meeting someone else, in an odd way it helped me find myself instead. For years I lamented a general despise for the idea of dating, all the while also being quite lonely. However, in retrospect when I finally decided to venture out and meet someone it also led me back to myself in ways I didn’t expect. Each blind date I went on(the few anyway) I didn’t dress to impress, but rather for myself and what I liked. If they liked it or not I couldn’t be bothered. In another instance I ran late because I had gotten pulled in by some pretty headpieces in a shop window. While this all sounds like I’m some kind of “bad dater,” I beg to differ, because in a subtle way my lack of being dependent on the approval of someone else was rearing it’s singular head. My dating adventures didn’t stop there of course. While I certainly didn’t find a Mr. Right or Prince Charming, the sheer act of putting myself out there was fun. I did meet some cool and interesting guys, but more importantly I narrowed down what I did or didn’t want. Modern dating may have killed romance, but in the process it’s made us more independent. Whether it’s simply because you can’t manage to find someone or have a realization that you don’t necessarily need to. Even in a marriage you need to be self sufficient and well contented(happy!) within yourself. Because single or attached it helps to be playing with a full deck of cards. Only you have the ability to bring yourself happiness, rather than a fellow human being. I remain single(or am) but I’m learning. I’m getting an education in self sufficiency. In navigating my way through a seemingly impossible situation, I’m gaining awareness of just how strong I am, but also how weak I can feel. The good news is that where I am weak, others have helped hold me up to prevent me from falling. In my frailty(emotional or otherwise) I’ve peeled back the layers to find strength and meaning. As much as some women look for a knight in shining armor, I’ve proven that you don’t need one. Your life should be enriched by a Prince(or Princess) but not saved by one. There are many times you will have to slay your own dragons, and I promise it’s not as difficult as you may think and you can do it.

la la la love,

August 13, 2015

Innocence

This is so true, we’ve made a mess of love. Where did it all go wrong?

August 13, 2015

the golden touch.

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.

– Charles Dickens.”

How many friends do you have? I’m not speaking of Facebook, Instagram or social media, but actual friends. We cross paths with and touch hundreds of people every year. This didn’t become so obvious to me until I landed in the ICU of an upstate New York Hospital. An online fundraiser was started for me, and who were the majority of donors? Well, not many of them were close friends, surprising? Yes! Instead, they were the girl I had crossed paths with once in my work and charmed, the group of lovely friends in Brooklyn that I played beer pong with once in their loft, a group of pretty girls I took a pin-up class with in New York City, family members and best friends of people(ie my boyfriend at the time) that loved me. Even people I worked with or had worked with contributed. As many of my friends that gave, so did people who I had crossed paths with before the stroke occurred. Some of these near perfect strangers even wrote in loving(some funny)things with their donations. Not only was I peasantly surprised by the outpouring of love,but even more so the reactions I received from those I had met only once(or twice). I couldn’t believe they remembered me, much less that I left such an impression. What if I had been grumpy,unfriendly,or unapproachable that day instead? It was obvious that you never know who your going to meet, and how they’ll react to(and remember) you. Little did I know at the time, that each of these beautiful souls could easily have been some of my very close friends! This also begs the question “ How would you like to be remembered? We all want to be remembered fondly, and I just happened to get a glimpse of my own rememberence. This clearly showed me that, you should not take your presence for granted. Because you affect far more then you know. I left a lasting impression not because of what happened to me, but rather because of who I am as a person. These people remembered a friendly,fun,relatable girl. We can all leave such impressions. How? By waking up each day, embracing it, being grateful for our lives, and holding onto our childlike wonder. Moreover by letting go of our fears or worries and taking life head on, because after all We only have one!

go out and cause a positive effect,

August 9, 2015

This is not a Test

“Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil, and let us see what we are made of.” –Charles Spurgeon

Growing up can be difficult, but being an adult is even harder. We are continually tested, with exams in school,our patience,in our ambition,by children, and even in our relationships. Not only do these things test us,but even time tests us! Within life there are multiple tests nearly everyday. However, We tend to forget that life itself can be one giant test,and one in which there are no retakes. Not to mention, you won’t be graded on a curve. My particular test has been an illness(or accident)that with it brought grades not of letters,but of emotions,and in steps of recovery. I no longer had to memorize book knowledge,but instead bring forth my soul into something tangible that would carry me through the circumstances. A correct answer on a test wasn’t going to achieve the goal of walking better(or at all)for me. Instead of answers I needed to take action and ask even more questions of myself. Now was the time to grit my teeth and employ my resolve to see just how much I had learned in the class of life thus far. It came as no surprise that class is not quite over,and the teacher can be a harsh one. She generally offers no retakes when you fail,but when you catch Her on a good day you’ll receive quite a few, so try not to screw it up too badly(ha-ha). However, the entirety of the class cannot be retaken. Therefore, it’s best to show up everyday,be present,be mindful,and certainly be kind to your classmates. As it turns out when you employ these tactics in a state of positivity, it becomes increasingly easier to ace anything. Also, don’t fear graduation day too much(see here). Since We only get to take this class once, I think it’d be a grand idea to rise to a challenge with the reply “this is exactly what I need,” and don’t let too many opportunities pass you by. Even when said opportunity is daunting, remember a marathon is completed by taking that first step.

5K? no problem,

Listen to these lyrics, they’re for you.[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnoyiVZUxUk&w=420&h=315%5D

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